I NEED a drink!

releventchair

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RC.. You're a true friend.
Words on a screen are just words..but I feel your pure essence.
I believe that we are all connected.
Everything is electrical impulses and harmonics.
God's people can always feel each other and I really feel you!
Thank you for making this to where I can understand it!

Hard to admit this, be it the born with XXY or the trauma or a combination of the two, I cannot physically communicate with others very well.
Disabled mentally is an understatement!
If you don't make what you say to me at a kindergarten level.. I simply don't understand what people are saying.
Here or in person!

That's some brutal ammo for trolls.
Fire away... I'm actually thicker skinned than people realize.

Now RC..life is short and time precious...why are you wasting this beautiful day talking to me ?

God bless you either way!
And you too St. Chris and WD and you too Jeff...how many monikers do you have ? Heh

God bless you all.

P.S.
You too Crispin... without your help, I'd have quit everything four years ago.

Not wasting all of this day.
Multi tasking!
Dogs need some time to socialize ,then flop before more ambitious events happen.
Run to a town for ladyfriends prescription , yard work ect..

I lost a lot mentally. Cognitive hit , big time. But I function. And can see what I want to try to express. Getting it out though....Lo.l..

We all run at different levels. I can be in the ID"(me) and simply survive when I must.
Better days I can be in the "EGO"(caring about/for family and friends concern on my part).
And most times the "SUPER EGO" (caring about fellow man) can be jolted through empathy (do not confuse that for any degree of sympathy from me) when someone is on the same wobbly wavelength. Humans must go forward as a generality. And I should not stop that , generally. I survive. You survive, They survive. Within reason....

You are human. And as such you too run the gamut and gauntlet of living.... Every day, right along with the rest.
Without watching you I can't tell how far you swing each way in emotion /perception how often but that does not really matter. You are you is all.

Sometimes you voice the same things other folks would if they let a closet speak. Most won't want to hear it for fear of their own closet wanting a voice /never let people think you are that kind of human conflict that must be kept hushed in private.

Other times you hint of the rare but precious ,hard to find , original thought.... And that is a sign of (good) intelligence that is telling , frighteningly honest....And easy to avoid when closets are to be kept sealed and fretted about elsewhere.
 

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WannaDig3687

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BC,


I think God sits it out with people like me.
Really? Hmm. Whom do you think has laid it upon the hearts of all of these people to reply to you? Open your eyes, buddy.

I'm so back and forth in my faith.
One day I'm God's warrior, the next I'm his worst enemy.
It is very difficult for me to accept that God loves me. I feel like God hates me if anything.
Or maybe I am too far removed from his grace.
I can't speak for other faiths, but for my faith, everyone goes through this to some degree or another. It is how the evil attacks.


I'm trying to leave the past in the past.
The problem is I'm bitter about it and I NEED resolution and justice.
You don't "NEED" it. You want it. That's your human side.

You have no idea how much pure rage that I am burying in my head.
Uh, yes, some can. Actually, a lot of people can. You are not the only one who has experienced such evils. And that is what it is. It doesn't matter the ages, the genders. It's all evil! And RC is right. Most don't want to let their closets speak. But Dizzy is right too. You need to reach out to a pastor of your faith. There is help out there.


Why..Why did God allow them to do that ?

IMO: Well, the simple answer I see is that it is part of His Plan. The answer will be revealed to you someday. Someday, we will all have answers, but again I say it's part of His PLan. Maybe that's what it took for you know Him. Maybe that's what it took for the others to know Him. Maybe all of the above.

Here's the deal. Nothing you or anyone else can do to change anything in the past. That's why you have to leave it there. You say you believe in God and He is your Savior. Then do you know the Lord's Prayer?

KJV: And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors



It is not a "what to say" it is "how to live." What you "NEED" is to forgive. That's the only thing you have control over to do. You said it yourself, your dad's gone, your mom is not in her right state of mind, all and everyone in your past you just have to forgive.


Your wife "NEEDS" her husband to be strong for her. You can do this. We will keep you and your wife in our prayers.











 

Oregon Viking

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I hope you and yours are OK. I will send prayers your way! If you don't believe in that stuff... I send a get well toast!
CBD oil works wonders, it helped my mother-in-law ALOT (cancer) You don't get high, just better...in some cases.
Stay strong brother!
 

DizzyDigger

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Thread has gotten too strange for me...

BC, if I can be of help just drop me a PM.
 

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BC1969

BC1969

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This is a bunch of stuff to take in.
Too strange ?
Try being me stuck with these crazy *******s in my head.

They come to build a wall between us..
Last night, I went to the local 7/11 standing by the beer cooler staring at it.
A guy from my local AA chapter walks up and says " he stares at it too"
"It will Pass"

Amen Brother!
 

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BC1969

BC1969

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I don't know if I publicly spoke about being forced to retire.
Bugging me even though it has been awhile since.
I had to take meds because of it for a long time.
Until a lawyer who owed me a favor got that thrown out.
Free for a minute.
How do I tell her this ?
Who will take care of her ?
She can't drive herself because of the seizures!

How the Hell do they expect me to go into a hospital?

I ain't going anywhere!
Someone better call the dogs off.
 

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BC1969

BC1969

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Why does she stay with me ?
I've nothing at this point in life and I only see it getting worse.
I'm in the red 32k and taxes are due in a few days.
This is my car door
20190410_150100_HDR.jpg
Our other car is dead in the driveway.
Had to buy a 500$ clunker..beats walking!
and that beautiful Finnish Viking still says that she loves me.
I don't get it.
What is there to love about a broken man ?
 

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