how do you convince your other half your not cheating while u say ur detecting

[wainzoid]

how do you convince your other half your not cheating while u say ur detecting

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Im confused... r u detecting or r u just saying that ur detecting?

 

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[CoilyGirl]

Dude I feel for ya.Even from a from a woman's perspective, that is car-aaazyyy! If you've never done anything to make your wife think you are cheating on her then SHE is the one with issues and you either need to get help together or get the hell out of there.Good luck.

 

[RGINN]

Cool, the Dr. Phil forum. Metal Mania, you're makin a mountain out of a molehill. I don't know the history of the relationship and don't need or care to. If you consider yourself the man of the household, go metal detect when you want. If she has doubts, tell her to get her a** in the truck and go and see what you do. Being the man of the household, I sincerely do hope you have a job and are a provider for the lady, cause that does weaken your position a bit if you're a slacker. If she's this big of a pain in the a**, why ever did you hook up with her? Get some and fall in love with it? I like the way these days they decide everybody has a condition and give it a name. You could suffer from SYLWYIABM. See ya later when you're in a better mood. You might be able to get into some rehab programs and get some money from the government if that becomes an official symptom. In all seriousness though, many times the ones who think you're cheating are the ones who have been cheated on themselves. You might look into that. You can fix that one if you work at it.

 

[Escape]

One time when I came home after being out with my friends, I told my wife that we were out at a gentlemans club. She said that it wasn't true. I asked her how she knew. She said, "Your home to early!" Next time just tell her your off to spend time with you girl friend and her initials are MD. Let her know how long you have been going out together and the things she does for you.

 

[Peyton Manning]

when you get back just show her your wet muddy knees, no wait, that may not help after all.

 

[metal mania]

excellent reply thanks

 

[metal mania]

Metal Mania: I have been down the same road before, and the end result was divorce.
She had some very serious issues (including delusions), and wouldn't let me out of her sight
for a second. The issues ran much deeper than just that, but the marriage ended 8 months
after it started when I told her that she either sees a righteous psychiatrist or psychologist
and get some help...or leave.

She left. I found out a week later that she had seen a psychiatrist a month before we were
married, and was diagnosed with "Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)". Believe me when I say
this...BPD is the "SPAWN OF SATAN" when it comes to emotional disorders, and very few have
any idea of how much emotional torture they can cause until they've "been there and survived
that". Took me two years of counseling before I was back to being myself again.

In other words, I believe there are issues going on with her that run much deeper than simply not
trusting you to be on your own.

As I see it, you've got one of two choices:

Don't waste time as these issues are not going to go away, and it's not
going to get any better (for either of you) unless you get some professional counseling
ASAP. She will likely balk at this, as she fears her secret issues are going to be found
out about, and in my experience the more you "push" for her to go the more she's
going to push back.

If she refuses to go, then I would pack up and go at the first chance. You have the
right to live your life as YOU CHOOSE, and it's certainly not up to her to tell
you what you can do, and when.

Only you would know if more is going on than what you've shared here, but if these
types of issues are common in your relationship...If it were me, I would (honestly) end
the relationship and never contact her again, as that is the only way you'll ever be free
of her. She will do anything to get you to stay, but don't buy it, cause 24 hrs. later things
will be right back where they were to start with, and you'll be even more miserable.

Suggest you order a book called "Walking on Eggshells" (seriously!). It's about living with people that
have BPD, but even if she is not BPD there are parts of the book that will help you to deal
with the issues she does have.

Amazon.com: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (9781572246904): Paul Mason MS, Randi Kreger: Books

BTW, this comment you made about your friend really caught my eye:



No disrespect to your friend, but his wife tells him when he's "allowed" to go out?

Just reading that the poor bugger is being treated that way makes me shiver. Does she
really control him that much to where he has to bribe her with jewelry just to get a day
out of the house?

Be a good friend and give him your copy as soon as you're done with it.

It takes a strong spine to deal with some people (men or women), and dealing with her issues
will get ugly as she's gonna push back..and hard. If you feel the relationship has a future, then
stay and work through it, but if not, pop that parachute and get yourself free.

JMHO, and advice is generally worth what you pay for it. In this case, I'm sharing the
straight-up, cold truth about what I went through. Maybe your gal is just insecure, but
it doesn't sound as if that's the root of the issue.

I do wish you the very best of outcomes, and either way, be strong.

excellent thank you i shall pass info on to my friend

 

[metal mania]

Im confused... r u detecting or r u just saying that ur detecting?

its My friend hes justs wants to detect

 

[metal mania]

PLEASE NOTE ITS MY FRIEND THANKS FOR ALL THE ADVICE

 

[mrwilburino]

Just one question.........

Does your friend have a history of cheating on his significant other?

If not- then he needs to get rid of that crazy cat.
If so- then this dirty dog is getting what he deserves.

 

[lonewolfe]

Marry your detector and ditch the woman/child (you will anyway once the "treasure bug" bites you hard enough!)

but

it'll bring you MUCH more fun, enjoyment, happiness, peace, etc. etc. than ANY psycho jealous "girlfriend/wife" will EVER bring to you!

I have a buddy that I met at work -- he was married to some gal for like 2 yrs and after we became fairly regular hang out buddies I turned him on to detecting. He thought I was a "dork" (in his words) for stumbling around with a detector yada yada yada until one day I showed him my finds from an old farm property I detected. At that point he wanted to come along "just to check it out/see what it was all about"!

Well - needless to say after 1 outing with me and letting him play with the machine for a while = he was "hooked" and just had to have one! So - I set him up with a Garrett GTAx 1000 (was an excellent machine in its time) and I told him flat out - "you're going to trade that wife of yours for that machine and become married to it"!

He said something to the effect of "yeah right"... Day after day after week after week passed with phone call after phone call of his finds, etc. etc. and then one day the phone rang (like 2 months after selling him the machine) and it was him and this is what he said - "you were right - I married the detector and the wife & I are getting divorced"!!

BEST thing that ever happened to him - got rid of the nagging over bearing jealous wife and formed an on going relationship/hobby in/of the world of detecting -- that was 12 yrs ago -- 10 more than the marriage with psycho woman lasted!!

PS

he got a new wife (one that doesn't mind a bit if/when he hits the road for some treasure hunting) - he's even gone for weekend excursions on occasion!!

 

[GPS53]

When I get home from a hunt my wife sees and smells me from a distance, she knows damn well that I was not out messing around on her, at least not with another woman!!! I have ONE woman in my life, WHY would I want the aggravation on another one!!!

 

[metal mania]

excellent replies thanks guys

 

[TerryC]

I had a psychotic, BPD, inverted narcissist parasite of a wife once. 13 years of her reduced me to this one final statement. Life is too damned short to put up with bull****, especially from those that should never give it to you in the first place.

You should cheat on her and then see if she will keep you. I she does keep you, then you need to get rid of her. Which is what you should have done in the first place. But then you will at least know for sure she needs to go.

Don't sugar coat it like that, Troll. Tell straight out! TTC

 

[TerryC]

If you don't want her to wonder if you're cheating, stop coming home with lipstick on your coil! TTC

 

[G.A.P.metal]

TerryC
Now thats funny

 

[Moonrover]

Age cures all that. Us old guys have wives who are tickled pink to get us out of the house. So much so that I probably could get new detectors for Christmas, and birthday.

M

 

[lastleg]

Tell your friend to start bringing his MD to bed and watch her wig out. This won't help the problem but
could give him a good laugh. Women like that never change, you just have to decide whether it's
worth it to stay.

 

[Jeremy S]

Just from my personal experience......the one who is always accusing the other of cheating, is actually the one doing the cheating. Just my opinion based on my previous wife's actions.

Sadly, this was my experience too. I put up with this crap for several years before finally walking away a stressed out, mental wreck. It took me a long time to get over what that nut put me through. Luckily I wasn't married (yet)! Life is too short to spend it with someone else who will only end up bringing you down and hurting you. There are plenty of other girls out there who aren't screwed up in the head like this. My advise, get rid of her and find someone else.

 

[wheres_wheatie]

Me and my wife love each other to much to trust one another so we use Glympse: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glympse.android.glympse
for android smart phones.