Time is so precious to me right now

[Hitndahed]

Deep sigh,,,
Where to begin ?
My parents are in their 80s,, dad used to be an THE IT "Director of Operations" for the Navy till he retired 25 or so years ago,, and Mom had a couple businesses that she did well with. They were upwardly mobile then and did well.
Well I can roll back to last summer I guess.
I spent 6 months last year,,, all summer and a few months after rehabbing a rental they own,,, next to my place. So they can be close to me till they pass. This has been a real tough time. Getting everything they want,,,done the way they want. And they are pretty particular about things. Moving all of their things they want there,,getting all the services and mail changes,,,fuel tele, TV. Finished cleaning the landscaping. Moving unwanted/un-needed things to storage. Selling their old place.
Tomorrow is their move day,,, well today really but their phone n TV don't get connected till tomorrow.This whole thing has really left me wasted,,, mentally and physically.
And to boot my job,,, IT Operations,,is pretty stressfull too at times.

My lady n myseelf used to be in Delaware 5-6 times a summer,,, then as parents aged it went to 3-4,,, not we are lucky to make it once a year. We still get our surf tags tho,,, just in case.
There is so much I want to do for ME but I really feel "selfish" when I say I am going to do something I like. Salt Fishing,,, panning,,,MDing,,even just taking time to take a ride in the woods has become a luxury anymore. So much I want to do and just can't find or make time for,,, deep sigh
Kids are grown and pretty much gone,, son is whole way across the country in Wash. state and my daughter is kinda close but she is busy now too.

Something has got to give,,,,

 

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[kayakpat]

Life is so short, especially as you get older, the past seems just like a matter of a few years, but it has been the bulk of it., peoples lives are like a flash of lightning for a brief moment they brighten you life then they are gone. Sad

 

[Charlie P. (NY)]

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans (John Lennon).

Stressful it can certainly be. THE ADMIRAL and I will be married 35 years next week. Have had many ups and downs. Done in-home caregiving for two of our parents and been at our whit's end many, many times. We were poor as church-mice when we got married and have hop-scotched each other through college and various jobs (I was holding two jobs and attending night-school and have no idea where I managed the time to do that).

One thing I have learned is that you never find time. You have to make time.

Good luck and clear thoughts.

 

[DirtStalker]

I spent the last four years until last October driving 90 miles roundtrip to my moms to grocery shop Dr appointments and such twice a week. I was in the middle of a remodel of our house at the time of her sudden passing. I had picked her up from the hospital on Saturday morning and during the 10 mile ride from her house she went out on me but came to. 2 hours later at the hospital she was gone. Through all the stress of driving back and forth during that four years I don't have any regrets. This was my first Mothers Day without her and I wish I could still drive all those miles today. Sure we have a lot more of us and me time but I'd gladly give it up for more Mom time.

 

[bigfoot1]

I pray for you and your family during this time.may calmness come back to your life.
"to everything there is a season"

 

[choppadude]

You are a good son and I am sure that your parents appreciate all the sacrifices that you have made. I guess it all evens out in the long run since parents spend many years making sacrifices for their children

 

[G.I.B.]

You certainly are lucky.

Government retirements, good jobs, full medical benefits, multiple homes, and family close by. Everyone's still alive- don't see anything about slow cancer death or hospice-

Sometimes one should step back and take a fresh look.

 

[Msbeepbeep]

Caregivers need a break once in a while to relax, breath, and recharge. Stress can do a lot of damage.

It sounds like your parents are fairly good for right now, so when they are moved in and settled, get a care giver to check on them and you and the wife take a break. As they get older and health declines it gets harder.
The to do list can wait, it's not going anywhere.

 

[RGINN]

I think you're a good son, and in recognition of that you need to set aside at least 2 or 3 days, more if you can, where you have absolutely nothing scheduled and just do what you want. It is perfectly fine to do things just for 'ME' from time to time, and you don't have to feel guilty about it. I'm at the age now where the list of things I wanna do is way more longer than the things I actually will do.

 

[RainbowChaser]

I've been on the same path for the last year, moving my Mom across the country and into assisted living near me. It is physically and emotionally exhausting. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of others. Don't feel guilty. MD'ing works for me, even if I can only get away for an hour at a time. Wishing you the best -- both with your folks and your metal detecting!

 

[T.C.]

It's also nice if you have a brother or sister that could help out in any little way. It is a tough row to hoe and like Msbeepbeep says, you need to take a break once in a while. A person can turn a little bitter if they can't take a break and unwind....do it!! You and your wife are good people for being patient and most of all, just being there!!

Caregivers need a break once in a while to relax, breath, and recharge. Stress can do a lot of damage.

It sounds like your parents are fairly good for right now, so when they are moved in and settled, get a care giver to check on them and you and the wife take a break. As they get older and health declines it gets harder.
The to do list can wait, it's not going anywhere.

 

[Frankn]

Hay, I am 77 so I have thought of this from both ends. I kept my mom in her home until the medical care exceeded my ability. She spent the last year in a nursing home. My sister and I alternated visiting days for that last year. Look at it this way. They dedicated about 18 years working there schedule around you. It's payback time and I think you will come out way ahead. Jest my thoughts, Frankn

 

[Hitndahed]

Thanks all for the thoughts.
Got them pretty much in yesterday,, still a few minor things to take care of but that will be cake compared to the past year.
Who knows,,, I might even get out some this weekend and do a bit of MDing.

I truly do appreciate the thoughts of those that have walked these steps.

Hit