daughter help

[jamey]

my daughter is going to be the death of me.anyone ever had a daughter that was not happy with herself?need some real help here.

 

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[jamey]

im not kidding.im lost.

 

[DirtDiggerDaveinMD]

What is she doing? Sometimes, depending on what she is getting into, life is the best teacher. I have one...and you can't tell her anything. She is a young adult and thinks she knows it all.

 

[Argentium]

I'm guessing she is a teenager ? If she is likely a danger to herself or others , then you gotta get her some heavy duty therapy and possibly meds. If she's involved with street drugs , or addiction , there are programs available . This site will certainly give you a place to vent and some sympathetic responses , but you need to get with some counselors, medical professionals , and possibly law enforcement officers. God Bless you both !

 

[jamey]

we did all that,Argentium.thought it would get better,its not.got bad again with know drugs involved.yep 13 smart as a tack,plays with the band.pretty too,just not happy with herself.

 

[Argentium]

If her behaviors do not suggest that she is likely to harm herself or others , then you may be dealing in a rather normal situation of a teenager acting out and behaving badly - this is part of the transformation from child to young adult . I should say here that I have no credentials in a medical or psychiatric realm, and am only rendering my opinions because I was once an unhappy , and unruly teenager .

 

[DirtDiggerDaveinMD]

we did all that,Argentium.thought it would get better,its not.got bad again with know drugs involved.yep 13 smart as a tack,plays with the band.pretty too,just not happy with herself.

Bipolar? Many time people with bipolar depression self medicate to deal with the symptoms.

 

[kingskid1611]

I don't know much about girls but boys are terrible when in the teen years....I have three two diagnosed with ADHD and they know more than me....Keeps me on my toes for sure. It will get better but you must stay tough and somewhat strict. They are usually just pushing limits to see what they can get by with. Praying for you......

 

[tlane38003]

Maby take her away from the atmosphere she is in no one is going to stop unless they want help can't make her do anything do you have any relatives that live far from her friends Maybe a change would do some good new interests new people new outlook just a suggestion was in with the wrong crowd when I was a teen band parties like a rock star got outta control my dad set me to live in England with a friend for a year couldn't find drugs anymore after a little time I changed my perspective and got new interests got back home and wasn't t interested in the party crowd anymore saved my life good luck don't give up I have a 21 year old and a 19 year old thank gig the are on the right path so far

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[Tpmetal]

My daughter has been having problems as well. Has there been any traumatizing experiences in her childhood? ie no structure/routine, abuse, separation of parents, loss of someone close? These things often lead to the child developing their own way to cope with things if they aren't addressed. Since they are still developing mentally, they start to develop differently than us and develop these different coping skills. If its this or even something like bipolar or anything like that, medication should be the last ditch effort. you should try everything else first, or there will be a dependency on meds or other drugs later in life when ever they feel like they are losing control. Get her therapy, if the first therapist doesn't work find another, you need one that can connect with your child and have them comfortable enough to open up. The therapist maybe also suggest that you try approaching things differently as well. Listen and try everything, do not take the "easy way out" and medicate right away. It can be detrimental to your child's well being in the future. Most of all keep your head up and keep trying. don't give up on them ever and don't let anger get the best of you. Best of luck I understand your pain and feelings of desperation.

 

[Mackaydon]

What does she say is the reason for she being unhappy about herself?
Did she say she was unhappy about herself or is that only your opinion based on observation?
Keep communicating with her.
Don..

 

[Escape]

You need to seek professional care for your daughter. Your not equipped to do it on your own. Rule number one, Never Give Up on her but get her the help she needs. Even if it has to come from the courts, like those court mandated bootcamps.
It is hard to judge your situation in a forum with a few sentences to describe your dilemma. If i’m off base pleases disregard. Raised three daughters and a son. I found the girls tougher to raise. One of them sounds a bit like your daughter. So I ‘m speaking from experience. She is a grown adult now and some one I can be proud of.

 

[fish1on]

Never stop "being involved" and "communicating", do not judge or force anything, just be there as much as you can. Show her you are there for her by being there!

 

[fmrUSMC_0844]

My daughter is the same way. Just not all the time. It turns out that her "friends" were the ones that were behind that. Take a look at her friends and see what they are telling her. My daughter is 14 and her friends were real sh*****ds.

 

[doc-d]

Pray and seek some healthy activity or hobby she would like.
Removing here from the situation as mentioned above may be a useful option as well (if possible).

 

[creekhunter]

Hope the best for you Jamey, my Daughter was my best friend until she turned 13 what a change, finally had to send her to live with my Sister in a different state, it eventually helped her to see things from a different perspective.

 

[Davers]

All I can say is , i'm praying for y'all & hope she & you can make the right decisions in the future.

I got a 9 yo Boy, That is already becoming a problem , Selfish , Ungrateful, .....

Guess a-lot of it is Me & His Mom's Fault but in the end (When Older especially) he will have to live with his decisions .
I truly Pray everything works out for you & her.
Davers

 

[oldkoot]

I was pretty fortunate as far as my daughter is concerned she never gave me any trouble as far as disrespecting me and hanging out with the wrong crowd and things my son on the other hand fell into the wrong crowd and by the time I found out because of my lack of attention it was almost to late as he had tried to commit suicide and was hooked on drugs grant you I spent the same amount of time with both of my kids but the one difference was the mother of my daughter and the mother of my son was two different women and my son just could not accept that his mom was no longer in the picture.

Thank God when I finally realized what was going on with my son I was able to get him help and he has turned over a new leaf

not saying this is what is going on in your daughters life but just wanted to relay my story to you

My son is one of those that posses a vary extreme high IQ which he never got it from me when I finally realized what was going on with him he had graduated with honors from the high school he was in and pretty much threw away several full blown scholarships to several universities,the likes of OH state and a several others today he is a graphics engineer but had it gone the other way and I not finally realized what was going on my story to you could have been much worse.

there were several signs that my son was going through something but it took a near death suicide to wake me up, some of the signs he started stealing from people and just being rude and just several other things out of the norm.

Dont know if this will help you but it did help me to tell my story

 

[Limitool]

I don't know "exactly" what your dealing with... but I raised 5 daughters. I had 4 of my "own" and 1 step daughter. As any parent here knows it ain't easy and for you to reach out is admired. I've shared some things here on T-Net just for my own therapy. Mainly because I didn't / don't give a damn what anyone else thought about my problem(s). But.... for some reason I just felt better "sharing" them.

Without more knowledge on what your dealing with I and many others cannot help or advise you further.

But this next comment is from the heart.... (Many know/remember), My oldest daughter and her son were killed in Feb. 2015 which has NOTHING to do with your thread. My point is if this is "really" an issue then you need to reach out for help from professionals or those who have "been there - done this" and share the details w/them before "something" stupid happens. But if she is a teenager 13+ seat belt yourself in.... You can PM me anytime and we'll talk... Brad

 

[G.I.B.]

Cryogenically freeze her.

Thaw her out when she's 26- or learn to drink, and drink heavily.

They get stupid goofy at that age... Oh, and get some pepper spray for the teenage boys. Just spray the hell out of them on the first date, it sets the tone.