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Thread: Wifes comments on my metal detecting hobby over the past year

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  1. #1
    us
    Jan 2018
    North Atlanta
    Equinox 800, 6" coil, ProFind-35 pinpointer, sold: AT Pro with stock coil, Nel Thunder, Garrett 5" x 8" coil, Garrett Carrot.
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    Relic Hunting

    Wife's comments on my metal detecting hobby over the past year

    Metal detecting is so dirty digging in the dirt and mud when it is cold and wet. And she is often digging in her garden mud and dirt in the fall planting bulbs when it is cold and wet.

    Why drive an hour one way to metal detecting civil war site? And she will drive 60 miles up the interstate to go to some outlet shop that charges retail.
    You never find anything good. Donít you know where to look? Coming from a woman who does not know east from west even though the sun is shining.

    Why waste time metal detecting, when you could be doing things here at home. Oh, yeah just what I want to be doing, working on her long honey do list.

    Why do you keep all that old junk you find? From one who has close to 50 pairs of shoes she never wears.

    Your metal detector cost lots of money. We could sell it and buy a new couch. When has she ever bought a couch under $2,000?

    Why donít you take the grandsons (2 & 4 year olds) with you? Me:Yeah, that would be productive.

    You need another hobby like gardening. Canít wait to buy some more rakes and shovels.

    You spend too much time metal detecting. From a woman who will sit in a beauty salon chair for five straight hours.

    Are you ever going to find me a nice big diamond ring? Probably not, and if I do I will sell the ring and buy a CTX 3030.

    You get the car all muddy when you go metal detecting. Ah, she forgets all the spilled spoiled smelly milk, cracker crumbs and dirty diapers that the grandkids seem to leave behind in my SUV.

    Take the dogs with you, they need the exercise. Ha, fat chance.

    You need to dig deeper holes, if I were hiding my diamond ring I would bury it at least 3 feet deep. And she would never find it she cannot even keep up with her cell phone during the day.

    You need a different metal detector, like the one saw one advertised on the TV the other day and that guy was finding lots of gold and silver jewelry. Me just being quiet and not answering.

    Have you read your metal detector manual, you know you never read the manual on our new lawn mower. Yes hon I read the manual.

    Maybe your metal detector is not working, did you check the batteries, that is what I always do with the kids toys. Yes honey the batteries are working.

    I saw this guy on the Discovery Channel using these two wires bent funny and he found a big box of gold coins buried in California. Can you get some of those bent wires. Darling, I will make some out of coat hangers first thing this weekend. It takes a lot of skill to bend them at the correct angle to find gold.

    You watch those metal detecting youtube videos hour after hour. Donít you learn anything? I replied carefully, Well (thinking to myself) the Relic Recoverists is cute and Digging Brit has some interesting metal detecting techniques. But I reply, dear they only show you what they find, not how they find them, they keep that a big secret so I wonít go out there and find all the good stuff.

    Why donít you just use the hand metal detector you know the one shaped like an orange dildo it seems to always find what you are looking for in the hole. Well that day of teaching her how to metal detect was a waste of time.

    Maybe you could teach some of my girl friends how to metal detect and we all go hunting, I am sure we can find more than you do. Sure sweetness, and why donít you teach some of my friends how to shop and gossip and we all go shopping together (please shoot me).

    Why canít you be like Noggin Nuggy guy, he is just a kid, but if he can find stuff why canít you? Heís is so cute. I cannot think of a suitable reply that will not get me in the dog house for a week.

    Maybe you should take a metal detecting course like the Invest and Get Rich course you took two years ago, uh, never mind.

    Why donít you teach your dog to sniff out gold and silver coins? You mean my dog who sniffs out cat poop and eats it?

    Have you ever considered giving up metal detecting and buying a nice RV so we can go on vacations together? No not really. But thinking to myself, hmmm, a nice RV and long solitary trips metal detecting for gold in Arizona down in Florida on the beaches sound very, very good. Why didnít I think of that?

    Maybe that Aqua Mosquito guy will give you private lessons he seems to know what he is doing. Canít do that honey, I tried he is booked up solid until the Spring of 2020. She: I really donít think you are trying hard enough on this hobby.

    I saw on the news some guy in England found a pot of gold coins on his second try at metal detecting. Why donít you email him and ask him his what is his secret method? It seems to work. I already did my sweetness, but his email account was no longer working.

    How much in coins have you found this year? $47.50 and I put in our savings account for our next vacation to the casinos in NC.

    Why are you wasting your hunting old ringy bullets, canít you just buy them on eBay? Yes dear, I will think about doing that, it sounds like fun.

    You found that nice silver bracelet in the lake last year, why donít you go up to the lake. Sugar, It is 29 degrees outside now and the lake water is at least 50 degrees. Plus I found it in waist high water and I would much more like to stay here in the warm house talking to you. Hmm, thinking maybe I could go up to the lake today.

    I saw a really nice looking detector advertised on the harbor freight flyer for $69. Maybe you should try that one? You can save $15 if you buy it this weekend. No dear, those cheap Chinese detectors are worthless. And your Fort Nox 800 detector is so special?

    You have been detecting for more than twenty years, donít you think you would benefit more from Zumba lessons, we could do that together and they are much better for your back issues. Me, thinking I am going to get that damn RV this weekend and head to Florida (alone) where it is not 29 degrees.

    My brother said he as a friend who detects and found an expensive diamond ring the other day and you are just not hunting in the right place. You know dear, he probably is right.

    I have an idea, why donít you just follow rich women and wait for them to drop their diamond ring and just pick it up. That sounds like a good idea, why didnít I think of that? She replies, You are not making fun of me are you? I can tell you know. No, I would never do that sweetie.

    Hey, hubby! (a text message) I just ordered the Metal Detecting Book for Dummies on Amazon for you this afternoon, it will be here in 3 days. I am speechless over her concern. I donít think anyone has a wife quite like mine.

    Why donít you answer my phone calls when you are metal detecting? I am listening to pandora while I detect said I.

    How can you get excited over a dirty penny with an image of an Indian in a native head dress? Because there are no pennies to be found with a bust of the Digging Brit on them.

    Why donít you recycle that big box of pull tabs in the garage? It is taking up space I could use for my Christmas decorations. I am saving those to donate to the Chinese metal detector companies to use in their clone pin pointers that work for at least a week.

    Why donít we just sit down and make a list of the reasons you are not finding any good jewelry? I canít now honey I have to go polish the lawn mower.

    You never take me anywhere except those boring metal detecting conventions. No comment, just kept reading the metal detecting forum because I knew any answer would get me in trouble.

    I just called to let you know you received a long package from FedEX, it better not be what I think it is. No honey, it is a new weed eater I ordered.

    Alice said Ralph is always in a good mood when he comes home from metal detecting. Why are you not? Sweetie you have to understand that Ralph metal detects for an hour and then spends two hours in the pub drinking before he comes home.

    Wife with me on first lesson teaching her to use her Nox 600. How to you understand all these beeps and boops. Often I donít I replied. No wonder you donít find anything. They should have a bell tone for good stuff and a boop tone for bad stuff. It would make it easier for me. That it would my dear.

    I used your metal detector today to kill a big roach in your office. So you might want to check it. Me: unable to say anything because of the red I am seeing behind my eyeballs.

    Phone call from wife: I just had an idea, you find more silver coins in that big green coin changer at Walmart than you do metal detecting. Why doesnít your metal detecting company use that technology. Iím on it as you speak and firing off a letter to Minelab, I reply without trying to laugh.

    Wife observing and commenting to me: You find matchbox cars all the time but never nice rings for me. How come? I will have to ask the metal detecting gods on that one and get back to you dear.

    My sister called this afternoon and asked if you could find her wedding ring? She lost it hiking somewhere between Blairsville and Brasstown Bald Mountain. Sure thing honey. I will be back in in a couple of months. Oh, now you are being sarcastic, I can tell.

    Can you call my mother and explain to her what you do when metal detecting? When I try to explain it too her, she thinks you work for TSA at the Airport. Oh, this will be fun. Mabye I will tell her that I am in charge of TSA, he, he.

    I donít see many female detectorists on Youtube metal detecting videos, other than that British girl always falling out of her halter top. Why is that? I smiled and replied she is more than ample in that department than Aquachigger. Seeing a major frown, I quickly said: Oh, you meant why not more female detectorists. I guess it is because they donít have understanding husbands like I have an understanding wife.

    You are always on metal detecting forums or watching metal detecting videos late at night. Why donít you watch porn like most normal husbands? Thinking fast here, oh boy what is the answer to that one? If I admit I do watch porn, then Iím screwed and if I admit I donít watch porn, then she will think I am strange. Damn, I hate these trick questions. Ok, here goes: Honey I donít need porn since I have you.

    Honey I have a question about your metal detecting hobby. Thinking, sh*t no telling where this is going to go, but it probably ainít gonna be good for me.

  2. #2
    Are you and I married to the same woman?
    ďIt is best as one grows older to strip oneself of possessions, to shed oneself downward like a tree, to be almost wholly earth before one dies.Ē

  3. #3
    us
    Wheres The Gold

    Feb 2010
    Vancouver WA
    Chug)Whites Classic 5 ID, (Red Whites Coin master Pro) Chug and Reds New Additions Give It Up>> Garrett's AT Pro Buttercup>> Garrett's Ace 250 Show Me the Money>> Garrets Ace 400
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    Metal Detecting
    Honorable Mentions (1)
    As tears are rolling down my cheeks and my chest hurts from laughing so hard these 2 are my favorites HH Chug Good thing red detects or this would be ONE Long Post


    I used your metal detector today to kill a big roach in your office. So you might want to check it. Me: unable to say anything because of the red I am seeing behind my eyeballs.

    I don’t see many female detectorists on Youtube metal detecting videos, other than that British girl always falling out of her halter top. Why is that? I smiled and replied she is more than ample in that department than Aquachigger. Seeing a major frown, I quickly said: Oh, you meant why not more female detectorists. I guess it is because they don’t have understanding husbands like I have an understanding wife.
    "It cant Always Be Silver Or Gold But It Is A Hell Of an Experience Pulling It Out Of the Dirt"

    Metal detecting is Like A Marathon, Your Running fast then start Slowing A Bit The You Find Something Interesting And You Pick Up the Pace!!! The Only Difference is If You Are Addicted to this Hobby there Is NO FINISH LINE HH Chug And Red

  4. #4
    Charter Member
    us
    "WP"

    May 2012
    12,287
    18730 times
    Mehh.
    Thanks for your vote of confidence and of my having something I enjoy as a hobby.

    If I took up setting on a bar stool or chasing skirts (or both) , you'd probably tell me I'm doin those wrong also.

  5. #5
    us
    "Is that a Geiger Counter?"

    Feb 2006
    South Central Upstate NY in the foothills of the headlands
    Minelab Musketeer Advantage Pro w/8" & 10" DD coils/Fisher F75se(Upgraded to LTD2) w/11" DD, 6.5" concentric & 9.5" NEL Sharpshooter DD coils/Sunray FX-1 Probe & F-Point/Black Widows/Rattler headphone
    10,817
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    Metal Detecting
    Shut up, *****. Where's my supper?
    America was founded by tough hell-raisers. Rugged citizens who evaded taxes, spoke strongly against tyranny, grew tobacco, brewed beer, distilled spirits, and smuggled weapons. And it will be saved by those same types of citizens.

  6. #6
    us
    Aug 2018
    SW Missouri
    Garrett All Terrain Pro
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    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    Thanks for the Digging Britt tip.
    SD51, GB1, huntsman53 and 4 others like this.
    You may forget but let me tell you this: someone in some future time will think of us-Sappho

  7. #7

    Aug 2016
    MI
    E-TRAC
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    3418 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    Classic comments, thanks for documenting them so well!

  8. #8
    us
    Dec 2017
    Texas
    Bounty hunter commando Garrett AT Pro
    110
    321 times
    Metal Detecting
    Thanks for sharing!
    devldog and A2coins like this.

  9. #9
    Charter Member
    us
    Oct 2014
    Massachusetts
    Garrett: AT Pro, AT Gold & Infinium; Minelab: Explorer SE, II & X-terra 705; Tesoro: Tejon & Outlaw; White's: V3i & DFX
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    Great post, thank you for sharing!
    Hawks88, devldog and A2coins like this.

  10. #10
    Charter Member
    us
    Classic car lover

    Jul 2017
    East TX
    Teknectics eurotek pro bounty hunter time ranger bounty hunter quick draw 2 used a teroso compadre. Carry a 22 cal. six-shooter.
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    baseball cards,hunting,bottle digging,coin roll hunting,shooting,Metal Detecting, swimming,
    Banner Finds (1)
    Quote Originally Posted by Hillbilly Prince View Post
    Thanks for the Digging Britt tip.
    yep same here
    audemus jura nostra defendere

    neque deditionem


  11. #11
    us
    nomad roman numeral 2

    Nov 2009
    nomads land
    any tector i can get my hands on
    2,015
    2109 times
    you did'nt say how many pairs of shoes she has in her collection or how many different color purses she has ? lets sell them and i can get the latest metal detector thats out. i feel for you guys. all i have to do is put up with myself. i tell myself to shut up ! done. i dont get offended. my feelings dont get hurt. i talk to myself. i get better answers that way. K

  12. #12
    Charter Member
    us
    Watch For Motorcycles

    Dec 2009
    St. Charles County, Missouri
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    She's a keeper!
    Watch for Motorcycles

  13. #13
    us
    Sep 2012
    STATEN ISLAND NY
    ONLY MINELABS, and now one Detector Pro Underwater. Macro Multi Kruzer
    143
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    Beach and Shallow Water Hunting
    That's what you get when you tell them you have a hobby. My wife is just realizing I might not be going to work for the last eleven years.

  14. #14
    us
    Aug 2018
    SW Missouri
    Garrett All Terrain Pro
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    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    Quote Originally Posted by nomad 11 View Post
    you did'nt say how many pairs of shoes she has in her collection or how many different color purses she has ? lets sell them and i can get the latest metal detector thats out. i feel for you guys. all i have to do is put up with myself. i tell myself to shut up ! done. i dont get offended. my feelings dont get hurt. i talk to myself. i get better answers that way. K
    If she is like my sis-in-law or Imelda Marcos I'm guessing 1060?
    I got to hand to the guys who are married. That takes real fortitude and raw courage
    Ogre1190, devldog and A2coins like this.
    You may forget but let me tell you this: someone in some future time will think of us-Sappho

  15. #15

    May 2012
    Kalamity Falls, Orygun
    Whites M6
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    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    Quote Originally Posted by pulltabfelix View Post
    Metal detecting is so dirty digging in the dirt and mud when it is cold and wet. And she is often digging in her garden mud and dirt in the fall planting bulbs when it is cold and wet.

    Why drive an hour one way to metal detecting civil war site? And she will drive 60 miles up the interstate to go to some outlet shop that charges retail.
    You never find anything good. Don’t you know where to look? Coming from a woman who does not know east from west even though the sun is shining.

    Why waste time metal detecting, when you could be doing things here at home. Oh, yeah just what I want to be doing, working on her long honey do list.

    Why do you keep all that old junk you find? From one who has close to 50 pairs of shoes she never wears.

    Your metal detector cost lots of money. We could sell it and buy a new couch. When has she ever bought a couch under $2,000?

    Why don’t you take the grandsons (2 & 4 year olds) with you? Me:Yeah, that would be productive.

    You need another hobby like gardening. Can’t wait to buy some more rakes and shovels.

    You spend too much time metal detecting. From a woman who will sit in a beauty salon chair for five straight hours.

    Are you ever going to find me a nice big diamond ring? Probably not, and if I do I will sell the ring and buy a CTX 3030.

    You get the car all muddy when you go metal detecting. Ah, she forgets all the spilled spoiled smelly milk, cracker crumbs and dirty diapers that the grandkids seem to leave behind in my SUV.

    Take the dogs with you, they need the exercise. Ha, fat chance.

    You need to dig deeper holes, if I were hiding my diamond ring I would bury it at least 3 feet deep. And she would never find it she cannot even keep up with her cell phone during the day.

    You need a different metal detector, like the one saw one advertised on the TV the other day and that guy was finding lots of gold and silver jewelry. Me just being quiet and not answering.

    Have you read your metal detector manual, you know you never read the manual on our new lawn mower. Yes hon I read the manual.

    Maybe your metal detector is not working, did you check the batteries, that is what I always do with the kids toys. Yes honey the batteries are working.

    I saw this guy on the Discovery Channel using these two wires bent funny and he found a big box of gold coins buried in California. Can you get some of those bent wires. Darling, I will make some out of coat hangers first thing this weekend. It takes a lot of skill to bend them at the correct angle to find gold.

    You watch those metal detecting youtube videos hour after hour. Don’t you learn anything? I replied carefully, Well (thinking to myself) the Relic Recoverists is cute and Digging Brit has some interesting metal detecting techniques. But I reply, dear they only show you what they find, not how they find them, they keep that a big secret so I won’t go out there and find all the good stuff.

    Why don’t you just use the hand metal detector you know the one shaped like an orange dildo it seems to always find what you are looking for in the hole. Well that day of teaching her how to metal detect was a waste of time.

    Maybe you could teach some of my girl friends how to metal detect and we all go hunting, I am sure we can find more than you do. Sure sweetness, and why don’t you teach some of my friends how to shop and gossip and we all go shopping together (please shoot me).

    Why can’t you be like Noggin Nuggy guy, he is just a kid, but if he can find stuff why can’t you? He’s is so cute. I cannot think of a suitable reply that will not get me in the dog house for a week.

    Maybe you should take a metal detecting course like the Invest and Get Rich course you took two years ago, uh, never mind.

    Why don’t you teach your dog to sniff out gold and silver coins? You mean my dog who sniffs out cat poop and eats it?

    Have you ever considered giving up metal detecting and buying a nice RV so we can go on vacations together? No not really. But thinking to myself, hmmm, a nice RV and long solitary trips metal detecting for gold in Arizona down in Florida on the beaches sound very, very good. Why didn’t I think of that?

    Maybe that Aqua Mosquito guy will give you private lessons he seems to know what he is doing. Can’t do that honey, I tried he is booked up solid until the Spring of 2020. She: I really don’t think you are trying hard enough on this hobby.

    I saw on the news some guy in England found a pot of gold coins on his second try at metal detecting. Why don’t you email him and ask him his what is his secret method? It seems to work. I already did my sweetness, but his email account was no longer working.

    How much in coins have you found this year? $47.50 and I put in our savings account for our next vacation to the casinos in NC.

    Why are you wasting your hunting old ringy bullets, can’t you just buy them on eBay? Yes dear, I will think about doing that, it sounds like fun.

    You found that nice silver bracelet in the lake last year, why don’t you go up to the lake. Sugar, It is 29 degrees outside now and the lake water is at least 50 degrees. Plus I found it in waist high water and I would much more like to stay here in the warm house talking to you. Hmm, thinking maybe I could go up to the lake today.

    I saw a really nice looking detector advertised on the harbor freight flyer for $69. Maybe you should try that one? You can save $15 if you buy it this weekend. No dear, those cheap Chinese detectors are worthless. And your Fort Nox 800 detector is so special?

    You have been detecting for more than twenty years, don’t you think you would benefit more from Zumba lessons, we could do that together and they are much better for your back issues. Me, thinking I am going to get that damn RV this weekend and head to Florida (alone) where it is not 29 degrees.

    My brother said he as a friend who detects and found an expensive diamond ring the other day and you are just not hunting in the right place. You know dear, he probably is right.

    I have an idea, why don’t you just follow rich women and wait for them to drop their diamond ring and just pick it up. That sounds like a good idea, why didn’t I think of that? She replies, You are not making fun of me are you? I can tell you know. No, I would never do that sweetie.

    Hey, hubby! (a text message) I just ordered the Metal Detecting Book for Dummies on Amazon for you this afternoon, it will be here in 3 days. I am speechless over her concern. I don’t think anyone has a wife quite like mine.

    Why don’t you answer my phone calls when you are metal detecting? I am listening to pandora while I detect said I.

    How can you get excited over a dirty penny with an image of an Indian in a native head dress? Because there are no pennies to be found with a bust of the Digging Brit on them.

    Why don’t you recycle that big box of pull tabs in the garage? It is taking up space I could use for my Christmas decorations. I am saving those to donate to the Chinese metal detector companies to use in their clone pin pointers that work for at least a week.

    Why don’t we just sit down and make a list of the reasons you are not finding any good jewelry? I can’t now honey I have to go polish the lawn mower.

    You never take me anywhere except those boring metal detecting conventions. No comment, just kept reading the metal detecting forum because I knew any answer would get me in trouble.

    I just called to let you know you received a long package from FedEX, it better not be what I think it is. No honey, it is a new weed eater I ordered.

    Alice said Ralph is always in a good mood when he comes home from metal detecting. Why are you not? Sweetie you have to understand that Ralph metal detects for an hour and then spends two hours in the pub drinking before he comes home.

    Wife with me on first lesson teaching her to use her Nox 600. How to you understand all these beeps and boops. Often I don’t I replied. No wonder you don’t find anything. They should have a bell tone for good stuff and a boop tone for bad stuff. It would make it easier for me. That it would my dear.

    I used your metal detector today to kill a big roach in your office. So you might want to check it. Me: unable to say anything because of the red I am seeing behind my eyeballs.

    Phone call from wife: I just had an idea, you find more silver coins in that big green coin changer at Walmart than you do metal detecting. Why doesn’t your metal detecting company use that technology. I’m on it as you speak and firing off a letter to Minelab, I reply without trying to laugh.

    Wife observing and commenting to me: You find matchbox cars all the time but never nice rings for me. How come? I will have to ask the metal detecting gods on that one and get back to you dear.

    My sister called this afternoon and asked if you could find her wedding ring? She lost it hiking somewhere between Blairsville and Brasstown Bald Mountain. Sure thing honey. I will be back in in a couple of months. Oh, now you are being sarcastic, I can tell.

    Can you call my mother and explain to her what you do when metal detecting? When I try to explain it too her, she thinks you work for TSA at the Airport. Oh, this will be fun. Mabye I will tell her that I am in charge of TSA, he, he.

    I don’t see many female detectorists on Youtube metal detecting videos, other than that British girl always falling out of her halter top. Why is that? I smiled and replied she is more than ample in that department than Aquachigger. Seeing a major frown, I quickly said: Oh, you meant why not more female detectorists. I guess it is because they don’t have understanding husbands like I have an understanding wife.

    You are always on metal detecting forums or watching metal detecting videos late at night. Why don’t you watch porn like most normal husbands? Thinking fast here, oh boy what is the answer to that one? If I admit I do watch porn, then I’m screwed and if I admit I don’t watch porn, then she will think I am strange. Damn, I hate these trick questions. Ok, here goes: Honey I don’t need porn since I have you.

    Honey I have a question about your metal detecting hobby. Thinking, sh*t no telling where this is going to go, but it probably ain’t gonna be good for me.
    Find her some rings...that will shut her up. My wife tells me, "Good luck and find me a ring." If nothing else, stop by a garage sale and buy a couple of spares

 

 
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