A Baker's Dozen Certified Truths...
Some nuggets of wisdom from 16 years of diggin holes.* All of these items on the below list are hereby registered as Certified Truths*
1.* Two Cent Pieces are more likely to be found in Cornfields than in yards.
2.* Gold rings migrate towards fence rows over time.* (Sounds crazy, but it's "Certified"!)
3.* One old coin in the middle of the woods NEVER means that you can assume that there was a house site there.
4.* CLAD is everywhere*
5.* Large Cents are more like Venus Fly Traps than Mountain Lions.* They hang out passively and wait for you to find them.
6.* The *first* one of anything is always harder to find than the second one.
7.* The only way to have any hope of escaping CLAD is to renounce your worldly possessions and take up residency in the woods.
8.* My digging idol, Johnny Walker, always said "If you only dig nickel signals and ignore all the others, you'll get the gold.* Yup. Yup. Yup."
9.* When you invite a buddy to hunt with you, prepare to get yourself skunked.
10.* When you have to work all day, the sun will shine--when you've got digging plans, it rains.
11.* It ain't easy to find a Barber--but it's alot more difficult to find a croatal bell.
12.* Your first SLQ will always be dateless.* :P
13.* If you dig exactly 13 of one type of coin in any given hunt, misfortune will befall you in the form of an attack on you by a pack of bloodthirsty wild, rabid armadillos.*
*"Certified Truths" is a registered, patented trademark licensed only to Buckleboy, Inc.* Buckleboy Inc. makes no claims about the validity of such statements.* If you want True Truths, read the newspaper and chase it with a shot of whiskey.* "Certified Truths" are neither officially Certified, so to speak, nor necessarily True.
Some nuggets of wisdom from 16 years of diggin holes.* All of these items on the below list are hereby registered as Certified Truths*
1.* Two Cent Pieces are more likely to be found in Cornfields than in yards.
2.* Gold rings migrate towards fence rows over time.* (Sounds crazy, but it's "Certified"!)
3.* One old coin in the middle of the woods NEVER means that you can assume that there was a house site there.
4.* CLAD is everywhere*
5.* Large Cents are more like Venus Fly Traps than Mountain Lions.* They hang out passively and wait for you to find them.
6.* The *first* one of anything is always harder to find than the second one.
7.* The only way to have any hope of escaping CLAD is to renounce your worldly possessions and take up residency in the woods.
8.* My digging idol, Johnny Walker, always said "If you only dig nickel signals and ignore all the others, you'll get the gold.* Yup. Yup. Yup."
9.* When you invite a buddy to hunt with you, prepare to get yourself skunked.
10.* When you have to work all day, the sun will shine--when you've got digging plans, it rains.
11.* It ain't easy to find a Barber--but it's alot more difficult to find a croatal bell.
12.* Your first SLQ will always be dateless.* :P
13.* If you dig exactly 13 of one type of coin in any given hunt, misfortune will befall you in the form of an attack on you by a pack of bloodthirsty wild, rabid armadillos.*
*"Certified Truths" is a registered, patented trademark licensed only to Buckleboy, Inc.* Buckleboy Inc. makes no claims about the validity of such statements.* If you want True Truths, read the newspaper and chase it with a shot of whiskey.* "Certified Truths" are neither officially Certified, so to speak, nor necessarily True.
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