these guys and a campfire, ya know you will need a lifeflight, cuz falling of your chair with rib busting humor, will lead to more side spliting laughter
The other day I was at the park with my dog when a police officer came by, told me "Sir, that dog is in heat", I says "What? We are in the shade of the trees". "Sir," the office continues,"That dog needs to be bred". I said " Bread? I feed her nothing but the finest meat!" Cop says "No, No man!" I am taking about sex". I says " Well! I always wanted a police dog!"
Nokta FoRs Gold, a Gold Cube, 2 Keene Sluices and Lord only knows how many pans....not to mention a load of other gear my wife still doesn't know about!
Why Getting Married In Heaven Is The Worst Idea Ever. --------------------------
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process
them into Heaven.
While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'
and he leaves. The couple sat and waited, and waited. 9 weeks passed and the couple are
still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out;
could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns,
looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out?
Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here!
Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?
Nokta FoRs Gold, a Gold Cube, 2 Keene Sluices and Lord only knows how many pans....not to mention a load of other gear my wife still doesn't know about!
Yesterday I went to the tavern. I asked for a beer, "put it on my tab". The bartender asked me if I had any money on me and I told him I had two cents to my name. He says" put a penny on the bar", so I did. Then he asks me-
"Do you see a snake?"
"No" I said.
"It's a copperhead. Do you see a car?"
"No" I said.
"It's a Lincoln. Do you smell any thing?
" No" I said.
He says " its the scent. Put your other penny on the bar". So I did.
Nokta FoRs Gold, a Gold Cube, 2 Keene Sluices and Lord only knows how many pans....not to mention a load of other gear my wife still doesn't know about!