Permission Rejection Psychology
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  1. #1
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    Deep1

    Dec 2018
    Carolina Lowcountry
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    Permission Rejection Psychology

    I'm gonna try to give my thoughts on not gaining permission and fear of asking for it.
    And making it easier on you to ask for it.
    I've been MDing for 45 years.
    More importantly, I was in sales for 35 years. Spent most of that time cold calling. Toughest sales job of all, convincing strangers to trust you and your product or service.
    When I started MDing in the 70s, it was so easy, no idiots leaving craters, disrespecting people's property, leaving trash.
    You asked and you were welcome.
    One of the things that stand in my mind the most, Mr. Yearly( may he R.I.P.) a very kind man, had given me permission to search his plantation, Tombee.
    I'd been out there about 3 or 4 times, when Mr. Yearly saw me working near the entrance and stopped to talk and see what I found. He told me to search the yard of the plantation house. I told him that I didn't feel good about doing his yard. It wasn't your average yard, looked more like a putting green. Told me not to worry about it, said he'd seen the care I'd taken to cover my holes.
    It went like that thru the 80's.
    Then came digital in the 90's. It changed everything. MDing got a lot easier.
    More people than ever where MDing.
    That's when the problems started.
    Trespassing, property damage, lack of respect for property and its owners.
    As we went into the 21st century, things got even worse.
    I'm losing permissions I had for years or begging to retain permission. Hearing the same story over and over, people trespassing, leaving holes, tearing up crops, letting cows loose and on and on. I've had it turn into a *****fest against me.
    And now, it's 2019, it's harder than ever to get permission.
    What used to be 1 out of 10 denying permission in the 70's and 80's, is now 9 out of 10 denying permission.
    That's a lot of NO's. Rejection sucks.
    It's hard on the ego.
    I started dreading knocking on doors. Knowing I had a 90% chance of being denied. My negativity was surely no helping me.
    I needed to come out of this funk, so I sat down with Mr. Jim Beam and we had a talk about rejection.
    He reminded me when I was a child, I went and knocked on a friend's door to see if he could come out and play, only to be told by Mama he has to stay in and do homework, that's rejection. Or going door to door selling candy bars for our school, not everybody bought them, that's rejection.
    Did it bother me? No, I was a child, just blew it off and went to the next door. Thank god for childish innocence. You have not discovered what your ego is at that age or the damage it can do to you psyche.
    We talked about my sales career, the national average for closings was 1 in 5, that's an 80% rejection rate. Did it bother me? Yes, now my living depended on it and worse my ego hated being rejected. It really started beating me up and is a big reason why I retired early.
    He asked if it really makes a difference in my life if I gain permission or not. Will it put food on my table? No. Will it pay my bills? No.
    Does my living depend on it? No, it's just a hobby.
    So, what difference does it make? None. Life will go on as it was.
    After my talk with Mr. Beam, I knew I had to do something. My ego loves fishing, it makes him happy to catch fish, so we went fishing.
    Got him all distracted catching fish and before he knew what happened, I snatched him up and tied a 20 lb anchor around his feet and chunked him in a 100 ft of water. He went down screaming and yelling. The little SOB was so toxic fish started floating to the top.
    Goodbye, it was not nice knowing you. I feel much better now.

    I now see things differently:
    I was not Mding the property before I asked permission, if i get denied, I still not MDing it. Nothing has changed.
    It didn't hurt a thing in the world to ask.
    No big deal, I'll just move on to the next one. It will be a yes.

    Best sales advice I ever got:
    Develop trust.
    You will not close every deal, not matter how good you are.
    It doesn't hurt to ask.
    Don't be afraid to ask for their business.(Permission)
    If you don't ask for it, you won't get it.(Knock on that door)
    Ask what you can do to earn their business.( Have you lost something I could find for you?)
    If you don't get it, ask what you can do to change their mind.(I got a guy who gave me a no, give 10 minutes in a corner, ended up with permission to the property)
    Don't worry over it. Move on to the next one.
    I remember this advice every time I go for permission.

    All of which brings me to these thoughts:
    Get rid of your ego.
    Knock on the door and ask, no harm will come from it. You are simply going to get a yes or no.
    If it is a no, accept it and move on to the next one. It's not life changing.
    Don't let fear of rejection get in your way.
    The next one will be a yes and if you are afraid to ask, you won't get that YES.

    Go ahead and knock on that door, the no's are tough, but the yes's will make up for that.
    The yes's will come.
    Sometimes a yes can also get you into a no.
    If it's old, I'll dig it, dive on it, detect it or sometimes when I get lucky just bend over and pick it up.

    "Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result" Winston Churchill

    The truth I do not stretch or shove
    When I state that the dog is full of love.
    I've also found, by actual test,
    A wet dog is the lovingest.
    Ogden Nash

  2. #2
    us
    Lookit Tha Size O' Those Hog-Mollies!!!

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    Company meeting 2 days ago with the same meaning...I wish they would have had you as the speaker...

  3. #3
    Charter Member
    us
    Aug 2013
    Southern California
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    Excellent, excellent post Deep! The fear of rejection is a paralyzer. We have to remain as children in these matters.
    Sharing our finds with the owner and getting them excited in their own history wins the day or permission. Sometimes.
    ArfieBoy and Inspector like this.


    “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”
    – Albert Einstein

  4. #4
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    Lunch Bag

    Dec 2018
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    Thank you for posting Deep1.
    A2coins likes this.

  5. #5
    us
    May 2010
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    Ah, the wisdom of Mr Beam.

    Great post Deep!

  6. #6
    Charter Member
    us
    Oct 2014
    Massachusetts
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    Excellent post Deep1.

  7. #7
    us
    Metal Detecting & Hotwheels Collecting

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    Great post, common sense thinking
    A2coins, ArfieBoy and RustyGold like this.
    Any day of hunting, whether good or bad is better than not hunting at all

  8. #8
    us
    Dec 2018
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    Well said!
    A2coins and RustyGold like this.

  9. #9
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    rednecky

    Nov 2018
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    Asking for permission has always been a struggle for me. It makes me feel like some bum begging for something. I don’t know why. Maybe I can chunk the ego too !!!! Thx for the post good points to think on.
    A2coins, ArfieBoy and RustyGold like this.

  10. #10
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    DEPLORABLE

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    Excellent post
    A2coins and RustyGold like this.
    SOMETIMES I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW NOW ,,, WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW THEN,, Bob Seger

  11. #11
    us
    Mar 2014
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    That’s as awesome as it gets! Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The only thing being ventured here is the walk up to the door! GREAT post Deep!
    A2coins, ArfieBoy and RustyGold like this.

  12. #12
    us
    Feb 2013
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    Another word of advise: If you have a heart to heart with Mr. Beam just prior to doing some door knocking, might wanna take along some breath mints.
    A2coins, ArfieBoy and RustyGold like this.

  13. #13

    Mar 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by CoinHunterAZ View Post
    Another word of advise: If you have a heart to heart with Mr. Beam just prior to doing some door knocking, might wanna take along some breath mints.
    Or enough to share with the person you are trying to obtain permission from!
    A2coins, ecmo, ArfieBoy and 1 others like this.

  14. #14
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    Tommy

    Dec 2015
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    Great post I just got a no but Ill live lol
    RustyGold, ArfieBoy and Inspector like this.
    Still Available Approved TreasureNet Sticker $2.00 for 11" X 3" Bumper Sticker ::. I have 34 left PM me if you would like to buy any Tommy.................... Put it on my Trans Am FREE SHIPPING Street Racing My Trans Am W/Tnet Stick

  15. #15
    Charter Member
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    Deep1

    Dec 2018
    Carolina Lowcountry
    XP Deus, Nox 800, Garrett Sea Hunter Mark II, Poor ole wore out Fisher 1266 that still finds stuff.
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    Quote Originally Posted by A2coins View Post
    Great post I just got a no but Ill live lol

    That no, just put you 1 no closer to a yes.
    It's a number game, the no's will outnumber the yes's. That is a metal detecting fact of life.
    I've been shot down so many times, I feel like I'm in a dogfight with the Red Barron on groundhog day, and every time he shoots me down, I get back in the plane only to be shot down again.
    But I know that eventually groundhog day will be over and I'll get into the plane and win that dogfight.
    All you can do is just plugging away for permissions, you're not going to get them unless you ask.
    ArfieBoy and RustyGold like this.
    If it's old, I'll dig it, dive on it, detect it or sometimes when I get lucky just bend over and pick it up.

    "Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result" Winston Churchill

    The truth I do not stretch or shove
    When I state that the dog is full of love.
    I've also found, by actual test,
    A wet dog is the lovingest.
    Ogden Nash

 

 
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