MD Dog
Bronze Member
- #1
Thread Owner
SIPPING VODKA
This is too funny - I still have tears in my eyes! Finally, a chain
letter
that I don't mind forwarding. It's funny (don't break chain).
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After
mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous, on the
pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to
get
nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the
sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a
storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following
note
on the door:
1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Daddy,
Junior and the spooky.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his
donkey,
don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take
this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub
thanks
for the grub, Yeah God.
13. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at
ST.Peter's
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
This is too funny - I still have tears in my eyes! Finally, a chain
letter
that I don't mind forwarding. It's funny (don't break chain).
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After
mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous, on the
pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to
get
nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the
sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a
storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following
note
on the door:
1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Daddy,
Junior and the spooky.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his
donkey,
don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take
this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub
thanks
for the grub, Yeah God.
13. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at
ST.Peter's
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
