Chug And Red
Gold Member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2010
- Messages
- 7,396
- Reaction score
- 2,678
- Golden Thread
- 0
- Location
- Vancouver WA
- 🏆 Honorable Mentions:
- 1
- Detector(s) used
- Chug)Whites Classic 5 ID, (Red Whites Coin master Pro)
Chug and Reds New Additions
Give It Up>> Garrett's AT Pro
Buttercup>> Garrett's Ace 250
Show Me the Money>> Garrets Ace 400
- Primary Interest:
- Metal Detecting
- #1
Thread Owner
1. A blonde and brunette are having tea when suddenly the phone rings. The blonde picks it up and immediantely starts crying.
Her brunette friend asks her, "Why are you crying dear?"
Blonde says, "Because my mom just called and said that my father just died. "I'm so sorry," says the brunette.
The blonde finally stops crying, when the phone rings again. She picks it up and starts crying again.
The brunette asks again whats wrong, to which the blonde replies, "My brother just called and said that his father died too."
*********************************************************
2. A blond was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver Thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk To ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold."
"Wow, said the blond, "That's amazing....I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day..
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things Cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied..... ..."Two Popsicles and some coffee."
**********************************************************
3. A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blond jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The blond says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!
******************************************************
4. The chemist looks at the blonde and says, "Can I help you miss?"
"I would like to buy some bottom deodorant please," says the blonde.
"I'm sorry," says the chemist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" Said the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to the her
"This is just a normal stick of under arm deodorant".
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container,
"To apply, push up bottom."
*************************************************
5. A blonde goes to a sales man to buy a TV, "I want that TV" the man replies, "sorry, I don't sell to blondes.
She went home, died her hair red and went back to the sales man, "I want this TV," "again, "Sorry, I don't sell to blonbes"
Frustrated, she went home, shaved bold and went again " I want this TV!!!" agian, "sorry I dont sell to blondes".
The blonde screams out" HOW THE HELL DO U KNOW I'M BLONDE!?!" he replies, "Caues thats not a TV, it's a microwave!"
*********************************************************
6. A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
*************************************************
7. A blond was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blond, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blond went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blond roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blond told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.."
Happy friday everyone, stay safe and have a great weekend! Red
Her brunette friend asks her, "Why are you crying dear?"
Blonde says, "Because my mom just called and said that my father just died. "I'm so sorry," says the brunette.
The blonde finally stops crying, when the phone rings again. She picks it up and starts crying again.
The brunette asks again whats wrong, to which the blonde replies, "My brother just called and said that his father died too."
*********************************************************
2. A blond was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver Thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk To ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold."
"Wow, said the blond, "That's amazing....I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day..
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things Cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied..... ..."Two Popsicles and some coffee."
**********************************************************
3. A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blond jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The blond says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!
******************************************************
4. The chemist looks at the blonde and says, "Can I help you miss?"
"I would like to buy some bottom deodorant please," says the blonde.
"I'm sorry," says the chemist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" Said the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to the her
"This is just a normal stick of under arm deodorant".
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container,
"To apply, push up bottom."
*************************************************
5. A blonde goes to a sales man to buy a TV, "I want that TV" the man replies, "sorry, I don't sell to blondes.
She went home, died her hair red and went back to the sales man, "I want this TV," "again, "Sorry, I don't sell to blonbes"
Frustrated, she went home, shaved bold and went again " I want this TV!!!" agian, "sorry I dont sell to blondes".
The blonde screams out" HOW THE HELL DO U KNOW I'M BLONDE!?!" he replies, "Caues thats not a TV, it's a microwave!"
*********************************************************
6. A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
*************************************************
7. A blond was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blond, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blond went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blond roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blond told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.."
Happy friday everyone, stay safe and have a great weekend! Red
"Very suspicious" 
