Actual dumb questions Asked By Lawyers !!

Spitfire Reddie

Bronze Member
Joined
Jul 29, 2006
Messages
1,547
Reaction score
69
Golden Thread
0
Location
NC
Detector(s) used
Teknetics T2
All of these are ACTUALLY questions lawyer have asked !

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?


Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?


Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?


Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?


Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.


Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel
 

Damn, if that doesn't sound familiar.

During the 8 years of my divorce action (trial by fire) I of the things I had to do was to account for $180,000.

The accounting was reconstructed and balanced within about 15 cents...

The ex's attorney spent about an hour wanting to know why there wasn't a perfect balance.

At $350 an hour, who give a Shi* about the 15 cents.
 

stefen said:
Damn, if that doesn't sound familiar.

During the 8 years of my divorce action (trial by fire) I of the things I had to do was to account for $180,000.

The accounting was reconstructed and balanced within about 15 cents...

The ex's attorney spent about an hour wanting to know why there wasn't a perfect balance.

At $350 an hour, who give a Shi* about the 15 cents.

He sounds like a jacka$$ to me stefen ! Is the ex wife paying for him or are you ??
 

The ex's attorney spent about an hour wanting to know why there wasn't a perfect balance.

At $350 an hour, who give a Shi* about the 15 cents.

Thats obvious @ 350 per hour, The Lawyer thats who

You know, there's nothing funny about lawyer jokes...
Lawyers don't think their funny, and no one else thinks their jokes ;D
 

Top Member Reactions

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top Bottom