Dear Abby

[Casull]

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the
beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's
worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.
Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked
for a
new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and
bullsh*t with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills.
Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to
like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed: Clueless




Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don't need him
anymore!
You're a United States Senator from New York running for President
of the United States. Act like one.

 

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[Dimeman]

 

[Nitro 54]

LMAO Thats a good one.

 

[TreasureTales]

ROFL I wonder if these jokes ever make it to her desk?

 

[stefen]

Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to find out that she is pregnant. She is furious and can't believe this has happened.

She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone, and immediately begins to berate him, screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all of the trouble going on right now, you go and get me pregnant!!!

How could you!!!

I can't believe this has happened!

I just found out I am 5 weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!!

How could you

Well, what have you got to say"

There is nothing but silence on the phone.

She screams again: "CAN YOU HEAR ME!!!!

She finally hears Bill's very, very quiet voice.

In a barely audible whisper he says, "Who is this?"

 

[WV Hillbilly]

When Bill got caught up in that Monica thing everyone knows Jesse Jackson decided to be Bills spiritual adviser . They were inseperatable . While standing side by side at the urinals one day Bill glanced over + did a double take , then said , Jesse how did you get that thing so big . Jesse said , well I just slap it up against the bedpost 3 or 4 times every night before I get in bed . That night Bill went up to bed , undressed + slapped it against the bedpost 3 or 4 times . Hillary said , Hi Jesse .

Isn't it ironic that while Jesse was being Bills spiritual adviser he was keeping his mistress + fatherless child hidden away . Oh I almost forgot , it's reverand Jesse Jackson .