How to deal with death of a person?

[rmptr]

There are many things I just do not know about.

Seems 'Everything Else' must be an excellent place to seek information.

I would like advice on procedure, upon an event occurring, not esoteric aspects of bereavement.

Here's the story...

A lady I worked with went on a distant business trip.
In her absence, her husband had a heart attack, and died, sitting in his chair watching TV.

Her twenty year old son was at home.
She was not able to return for three days.

I discovered this accidentally, (cell phones!), and was unable to offer any advice, as I have never dealt with the circumstances. Of course I offered condolences. I'd met him only once, but had worked with her for nearly a year and she is a friend...

I did well in government schools, years back... but I was never taught how to deal with a death.

Down to basics, what do you do when the person in the next room is discovered to be at room temperature? What is the process?

911?
What next?
Where does the body go?
How do you get it back?
Do you WANT to?
Is there insurance?
How would you determine if they had it? or what it covered?
What if there is no insurance, no money?
What if there is a lot of money?
What to do if responsibility for death of an individual, 2,000 miles away falls upon you?
...and you can not go there, to that place?
How would you deal with property and possessions, long distance?

It just seems like something that should be clear and concise, but I was unable to offer any advice to her... Difficult for someone to deal with those things when they are emotionally distraught.

Has anyone dealt with this so they would be able to delineate what should be done, in what order?

Is there some website that itemizes the information without a billion pop ups selling this or that?

Thanks,
rmptr

 

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[ClonedSIM]

Lots of questions there, but all of them very reasonable, only wish a few more people had the foresight to ask but then, it's a topic that not a lot of people want to discuss. I can help you out with a few of these, and look around to try and find a site that answers the rest of them. A good start would be the sites of some of the larger national funeral home chains.

I grew up in a funeral home, (my dad was a director), so I got a firsthand look at a lot of this.

Calling 911 is the obvious first step when you discover a person has passed away and wasn't directly under a doctor's care, say in your case where the death occurred in their home. The police will write up a incident report, and more often than not an autopsy will have to be performed to determine the cause of death. This can take a day or more, during which time it's best to contact a funeral home. The home will be responsible for picking up the body from the morgue.

If there's been a will written, find this right off. It may have specific wishes about burial/cremation, etc. There may even have been a pre-need order set up with a local funeral home, which will be a great lift of that burden. Also in the will should be specific information about insurance, belongings, godparents, pets, etc. It would be up to the next of kin or an executor to take care of contacting the insurance companies to make them aware of the death.

If there's no will then the family usually needs to come together to make decisions about the burial, possessions, etc. If you find yourself in charge of a funeral that will take place on the other side of the country and you can't make it, then you can contact a local funeral home and they can take care of the entire works for you, albeit for a price.

In times like this, it's almost always a good bet to find a reputable funeral home, as they can answer any question you have, with the possible exception of legal rights in regards to items or money the deceased left behind.

 

[The Beep Goes On]

Here is some info...

http://www.unclefed.com/AuthorsRow/Newland/pass_on.html

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.co...rParents/StepsYouMustTakeWhenSomeoneDies.aspx

http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/individuals/help_index.htm

http://www.eldercareteam.com/resources/articles/someonedies.htm

 

[rmptr]

ok... She just dropped by to visit with my wife and I... a real trooper... dealing with it well.

but I just found out 6 copies of the death certificate are needed.

Don't know if autopsy will be conducted but cost for that is $700.

Straight - up cremation is $2,100.

and I just found out there's other business aspects involved...

and, she had gotten 'trip insurance' from which she will be reimbursed for cutting her trip short and expenses generated from doing that.

Thank you for posting helpful links.

This is something I know nothing about, but we all should know..

Thanks,
rmptr

 

[flyinguy]

THREE DAYS! you could come home frome the moon in less than that. crap on business.

 

[GPURS]

THREE DAYS! you could come home frome the moon in less than that. crap on business.

I would assume that the three days to get back home was hypothetical, I think

 

[rmptr]

She was aboard ship at sea.

 

[Bridge End Farm]

THREE DAYS! you could come home frome the moon in less than that. crap on business.

I would assume that the three days to get back home was hypothetical, I think

don't know where the business was, it could of take a day or two to get back. I would of hoped her company would of flown her back immediately.

Ohe does not know when one will be called to the presence of the Father but we all need to be ready. We also need to have our stuff in order so we don't burden our families more than needed wondering the whats, wheres, hows issues of our wishes.

I will be praying for them

 

[Digginman]

Here is some info...

http://www.unclefed.com/AuthorsRow/Newland/pass_on.html

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.co...rParents/StepsYouMustTakeWhenSomeoneDies.aspx

http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/individuals/help_index.htm

http://www.eldercareteam.com/resources/articles/someonedies.htm

Great info here, TBGO. I'll be doing this soon. Don't want to, but I have been selected.

DM

 

[rmptr]

The info from Beep is great!

These particular circumstances have no importance and are NOT worth discussing because each of us will be dealing with this same situation sooner, or later. Hopefully not with the curve balls that were in this instance.

Problems COULD arise if we wrapped someone in an old sail with a cannonball and slipped 'em over the stern!
Personally, I don't give a hoot about disposition of my carcass, but there are those who do.

The links are very informative.

Best

 

[The Beep Goes On]

I used Ask Jeeves (askjeeves.com) and typed in "what to do when a person dies". Glad it was useful.

TBGO

 

[rmptr]

Thank you to everyone for the info...

The ashes are spread over the hills and memorial service was held.

Memorials really are heart breakers for the survivors...

I'll tell you, an honor guard folding up the flag, presenting it to a spouse has an intense finality to it.

Best