Chug And Red
Gold Member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2010
- Messages
- 7,396
- Reaction score
- 2,678
- Golden Thread
- 0
- Location
- Vancouver WA
- 🏆 Honorable Mentions:
- 1
- Detector(s) used
- Chug)Whites Classic 5 ID, (Red Whites Coin master Pro)
Chug and Reds New Additions
Give It Up>> Garrett's AT Pro
Buttercup>> Garrett's Ace 250
Show Me the Money>> Garrets Ace 400
- Primary Interest:
- Metal Detecting
- #1
Thread Owner
Marrying a redhead
A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"
**********************************************
An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman
noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old
redhead. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make
love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love.
At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love."
The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying!
You should be the happiest man in the world!"
So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"
************************************************
A redhead accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his
checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined
with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely
die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he
is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare
an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably
had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his
stress worse. And most importantly. make love with your husband several times a
week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a
year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.
**************************************************
In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing redhead. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic.
Then, the redhead proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this redhead, all pull a buck out of their wallet.
And then the redhead pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs.
Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The redhead pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full.
Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats.
Then the redhead says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."
All three fork over the money. The redhead then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"
****************************************************
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp.
He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive my car there?"
The genie laughed , "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete-how much steel! And the maintenance of that bridge! No - think of another wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I'm married to a redhead. So, I wish that I could understand her... know how she feels inside and what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment...... know what she really wants when she says 'nothing'... know how to make her truly happy......I want to know how she can be so damn sexy one second and be the devils daughter, the next. I really want to understand her and how she thinks!"
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
Yep, red head night, gotta give the blonde jokes a break tonight! Red
A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"
**********************************************
An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman
noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old
redhead. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make
love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love.
At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love."
The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying!
You should be the happiest man in the world!"
So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"
************************************************
A redhead accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his
checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined
with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely
die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he
is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare
an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably
had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his
stress worse. And most importantly. make love with your husband several times a
week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a
year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.
**************************************************
In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing redhead. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic.
Then, the redhead proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this redhead, all pull a buck out of their wallet.
And then the redhead pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs.
Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The redhead pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full.
Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats.
Then the redhead says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."
All three fork over the money. The redhead then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"
****************************************************
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp.
He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive my car there?"
The genie laughed , "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete-how much steel! And the maintenance of that bridge! No - think of another wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I'm married to a redhead. So, I wish that I could understand her... know how she feels inside and what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment...... know what she really wants when she says 'nothing'... know how to make her truly happy......I want to know how she can be so damn sexy one second and be the devils daughter, the next. I really want to understand her and how she thinks!"
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
Yep, red head night, gotta give the blonde jokes a break tonight!
Red
