warsawdaddy
Gold Member
> From the BBC - by John Cleese.
> > ANNOUNCEMENT
> >
> > The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent
> > terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security
> > level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though,
> > security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
> > even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit
> > Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly
> > ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
> > "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
> > British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in
> > 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
> >
> > The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off"
> > to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other
> > levels. This is the reason they have been used on the
> > front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
> >
> > The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
> > terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher
> > levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was
> > precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
> > white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's
> > military capability.
> >
> > Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
> > Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more
> > levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change
> > Sides."
> > The Germans have increased their alert state from
> > "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
> > Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
> > "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
> >
> > Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the
> > only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of
> > Brussels.
> > The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
> > deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass
> > bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at
> > the old Spanish navy.
> >
> > Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level
> > from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Three more
> > escalation levels remain: "Crikey!","I think we'll
> > need to cancel the barbie this weekend," and "The barbie
> > is cancelled."
> > And finally Canada is at "That's not nice and please stop"
> > threat level, and has passed a bill in the House of Commons to
> > never raise the level any higher so not to offend the terrorists.
> >
>
> > ANNOUNCEMENT
> >
> > The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent
> > terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security
> > level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though,
> > security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
> > even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit
> > Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly
> > ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
> > "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
> > British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in
> > 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
> >
> > The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off"
> > to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other
> > levels. This is the reason they have been used on the
> > front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
> >
> > The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
> > terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher
> > levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was
> > precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
> > white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's
> > military capability.
> >
> > Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
> > Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more
> > levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change
> > Sides."
> > The Germans have increased their alert state from
> > "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
> > Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
> > "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
> >
> > Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the
> > only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of
> > Brussels.
> > The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
> > deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass
> > bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at
> > the old Spanish navy.
> >
> > Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level
> > from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Three more
> > escalation levels remain: "Crikey!","I think we'll
> > need to cancel the barbie this weekend," and "The barbie
> > is cancelled."
> > And finally Canada is at "That's not nice and please stop"
> > threat level, and has passed a bill in the House of Commons to
> > never raise the level any higher so not to offend the terrorists.
> >
>
Got'ne snow today? How's that new snow plow going? 
