dfxdude
Full Member
- Jun 29, 2004
- 208
- 35
- Detector(s) used
- White's DFX (2) V3i(1)
- Primary Interest:
- All Treasure Hunting
- Don't dig under dog poop in a public park even if it DOES say it's a silver dollar at only 4 inches.
- NEVER put a 9 volt battery in your front crotch pocket where
you keep your car keys.
- Always check for fire ants BEFORE you kneel down and dig.
- Be sure you know who's watching you watch the beach babes while
you're pretending to watch the sand.
- Daydreaming about a Star Wars light sabre battle while hunting is
not conducive to being invited back to hunt soon.
- Singing your favorite Beatles or Jefferson Airplane tunes under your
headphones seems to have similar negative results.
- If someone asks how much your detector costs tell them, "I got it at
a yard sale for $20" but you'll sell them the rotten piece of crap for
$50.
- If others ask if you have found anything, the correct answer is
always. "Yes, pull tabs, nails and a backache." If they keep talking
just start adding the rest of your regular symptoms stressing the
loose bowels and offering to show off any surgical scars.
- If people won't leave you alone and you still want to stay there
swinging (alone), just remind them that your probation officer has already
warned you to get back to serving your 500 hours of community service.
- If asked if you have ever found anything "good", say "Yes, my wife."
Don't go into the cute 16 year old twins from across town!
- If someone asks what you are doing it's fine to tell them,
"I'm looking for a ring my father lost here a few years ago."
But the late night twister game on his leather jacket is just
an unecessary enhancement.
- Always wee wee facing AWAY from traffic.
- In that same vein, remember that when it's really cold out
zippers tend to be MUCH slower, stiffer and sharper than normal
and certain objects are even smaller than they appear at home.
- If it's hot and you are dizzy and your head hurts you probably
DON'T have enough time to "finish just one more row."
- NEVER trust any males between 8 and 24 in groups of 3 or more.
This is especially true if, upon lifting their shirts, they are
showing more underwear that you are.
- Don't talk to ANY little girls or boys without at least three
independent witnesses available that have NO relation to the child.
This is even MORE important if the child is "just so cute and
adorable."
- When figures of authority or the "Mrs. Cravitts" of the world ask about
your Lesche remember that it is a "digger", not a knife and NEVER a "shiv",
"blade" or "pig-sticker".
- Always say "sir" to the nice policeman and keep your hands in sight at ALL times.
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