Actual dumb questions Asked By Lawyers !!

Spitfire Reddie

Bronze Member
Jul 29, 2006
1,547
69
NC
Detector(s) used
Teknetics T2
All of these are ACTUALLY questions lawyer have asked !

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?


Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?


Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?


Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?


Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.


Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel
 

S

stefen

Guest
Damn, if that doesn't sound familiar.

During the 8 years of my divorce action (trial by fire) I of the things I had to do was to account for $180,000.

The accounting was reconstructed and balanced within about 15 cents...

The ex's attorney spent about an hour wanting to know why there wasn't a perfect balance.

At $350 an hour, who give a Shi* about the 15 cents.
 

OP
OP
Spitfire Reddie

Spitfire Reddie

Bronze Member
Jul 29, 2006
1,547
69
NC
Detector(s) used
Teknetics T2
stefen said:
Damn, if that doesn't sound familiar.

During the 8 years of my divorce action (trial by fire) I of the things I had to do was to account for $180,000.

The accounting was reconstructed and balanced within about 15 cents...

The ex's attorney spent about an hour wanting to know why there wasn't a perfect balance.

At $350 an hour, who give a Shi* about the 15 cents.

He sounds like a jacka$$ to me stefen ! Is the ex wife paying for him or are you ??
 

GunFarce

Hero Member
Dec 26, 2004
723
44
Innisfil On Canada
The ex's attorney spent about an hour wanting to know why there wasn't a perfect balance.

At $350 an hour, who give a Shi* about the 15 cents.

Thats obvious @ 350 per hour, The Lawyer thats who

You know, there's nothing funny about lawyer jokes...
Lawyers don't think their funny, and no one else thinks their jokes ;D
 

Top Member Reactions

Users who are viewing this thread

Latest Discussions

Top