Moonrover
Sr. Member
The most interesting man in the world
1. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell stories about him
2. He once ran a marathon because it was on his way
3. His words carry so much weight they would break the jaw of an ordinary man
4. His small talk influences international policy
5. His mom has a tattoo inscribed with the word "Son"
6. He speaks all languages fluently, and three of his own that nobody else speaks
7. Panhandlers give him money
8. As a toddler he taught others to walk
9. When he drives his new car off the lot, it increases in value.
10. His passport requires no photo
11. Athletes seek his autograph
12. Once when sailing around the world he found a shortcut
13. Dolphins ask him permission to swim along
14. He always does math in his head and rounds to five places
15. When he returns a book to the library they enshrine it in the rare book section
16. He never needs to walk on water, it parts ahead of him
17. The Mayan calendar has his birthday circled
18. When he shakes your hand you never want to wash it again
19. If he nods 'Hello' to you, you will write a book about it
20. He vacations in the lost city of Atlantis
21. He gives his guardian angel a sense of security
22. If he were to scratch your car in the parking lot, you would apologize
23. Fate' asks him what is next
24. His beer never goes flat
25. When he left the Virgin Islands, they were just "The Islands"
26. Cuba imports cigars from him
27. Bigfoot has taken pictures of him
28. He once brought a knife to a gunfight just to even the odds
29. He has won the lifetime achievement award ... twice
30. Sharks have a week dedicated to him
31. He lives vicariously through himself
32. If he were to punch you in the face, you'd have to fight off the urge to thank him
33. He is the life of parties he has never attended
34. He once had an awkward moment just to see what it was like
35. Even his enemies have him on their emergency contact list
36. At museums he is allowed to touch the art
37. His personality is so magnetic he is unable to carry credit cards
38. Even his tree houses have finished basements
39. He once went to a psychic to warn her
40. His business card simply says ... "I'll call you"
41. Alien abductors have asked him to probe them
42. Ghosts lift their chains when he is sleeping
43. If he were to pat you on the back, you'd list it on your resume'
44. Both sides of his pillow are cool
45. When in Rome, they do as he does
46. All of his properties have a 360 degree view of themselves
47. He has inside jokes with complete strangers
48. Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect
49. People are still laughing at jokes he told in 1997
50. He has been granted permission to mess with Texas
51. He has never stepped on gum
52. He can speak in Braille
53. His organ donor card lists his beard
54. He once shook hands with himself just to see what all the fuss was about
55. Presidents take his birthday off
56. His tenants fix HIS broken toilets
57. Even when he calls himself on the phone he does not get a busy signal
58. His phone number is "1"
59. Santa Claus always stops at his house first
60. He has a patent on "Right Turn on Red"
61. It was his idea to change the name from "Uno Equis"
62. Real estate agents pay him 6% to list his house
63. The IRS asks him to audit them
64. The US Naval Observatory phones him to get the correct time
65. He once fashioned a perpetual motion machine from a drink napkin
66. Funeral processions stop for him
67. His shirts never wrinkle
68. Snakes fear him
69. If he were to sleep with your wife, you'd brag about it
70. He has his own seat at the UN
71. He bowls ... overhand
72. He never texts while driving, he already knows what you are doing and he doesn't care
73. Priests confess to him
74. Experts quote him
75. Restaurant waitresses leave tips for him
76. Elvis once claimed to have seen him at a gas station
77. The tooth fairy left him her phone number
78. He can unscramble an egg
79. He can't use a compass because it always points to him
80. UFOs are here to visit him
81. When sheep sleep they count him
82. Women leave the seat up for him
83. His hair clippings are auctioned at Southby's
84. His beard maintains itself
Stay thirsty, my friend
M
1. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell stories about him
2. He once ran a marathon because it was on his way
3. His words carry so much weight they would break the jaw of an ordinary man
4. His small talk influences international policy
5. His mom has a tattoo inscribed with the word "Son"
6. He speaks all languages fluently, and three of his own that nobody else speaks
7. Panhandlers give him money
8. As a toddler he taught others to walk
9. When he drives his new car off the lot, it increases in value.
10. His passport requires no photo
11. Athletes seek his autograph
12. Once when sailing around the world he found a shortcut
13. Dolphins ask him permission to swim along
14. He always does math in his head and rounds to five places
15. When he returns a book to the library they enshrine it in the rare book section
16. He never needs to walk on water, it parts ahead of him
17. The Mayan calendar has his birthday circled
18. When he shakes your hand you never want to wash it again
19. If he nods 'Hello' to you, you will write a book about it
20. He vacations in the lost city of Atlantis
21. He gives his guardian angel a sense of security
22. If he were to scratch your car in the parking lot, you would apologize
23. Fate' asks him what is next
24. His beer never goes flat
25. When he left the Virgin Islands, they were just "The Islands"
26. Cuba imports cigars from him
27. Bigfoot has taken pictures of him
28. He once brought a knife to a gunfight just to even the odds
29. He has won the lifetime achievement award ... twice
30. Sharks have a week dedicated to him
31. He lives vicariously through himself
32. If he were to punch you in the face, you'd have to fight off the urge to thank him
33. He is the life of parties he has never attended
34. He once had an awkward moment just to see what it was like
35. Even his enemies have him on their emergency contact list
36. At museums he is allowed to touch the art
37. His personality is so magnetic he is unable to carry credit cards
38. Even his tree houses have finished basements
39. He once went to a psychic to warn her
40. His business card simply says ... "I'll call you"
41. Alien abductors have asked him to probe them
42. Ghosts lift their chains when he is sleeping
43. If he were to pat you on the back, you'd list it on your resume'
44. Both sides of his pillow are cool
45. When in Rome, they do as he does
46. All of his properties have a 360 degree view of themselves
47. He has inside jokes with complete strangers
48. Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect
49. People are still laughing at jokes he told in 1997
50. He has been granted permission to mess with Texas
51. He has never stepped on gum
52. He can speak in Braille
53. His organ donor card lists his beard
54. He once shook hands with himself just to see what all the fuss was about
55. Presidents take his birthday off
56. His tenants fix HIS broken toilets
57. Even when he calls himself on the phone he does not get a busy signal
58. His phone number is "1"
59. Santa Claus always stops at his house first
60. He has a patent on "Right Turn on Red"
61. It was his idea to change the name from "Uno Equis"
62. Real estate agents pay him 6% to list his house
63. The IRS asks him to audit them
64. The US Naval Observatory phones him to get the correct time
65. He once fashioned a perpetual motion machine from a drink napkin
66. Funeral processions stop for him
67. His shirts never wrinkle
68. Snakes fear him
69. If he were to sleep with your wife, you'd brag about it
70. He has his own seat at the UN
71. He bowls ... overhand
72. He never texts while driving, he already knows what you are doing and he doesn't care
73. Priests confess to him
74. Experts quote him
75. Restaurant waitresses leave tips for him
76. Elvis once claimed to have seen him at a gas station
77. The tooth fairy left him her phone number
78. He can unscramble an egg
79. He can't use a compass because it always points to him
80. UFOs are here to visit him
81. When sheep sleep they count him
82. Women leave the seat up for him
83. His hair clippings are auctioned at Southby's
84. His beard maintains itself
Stay thirsty, my friend
M
Last edited:
TFLMAO............................................
