FCCDFEd
Hero Member
- Sep 29, 2007
- 857
- 566
- Detector(s) used
- DFX, IDXPro, MXT, Lobo St., At Pro
- Primary Interest:
- All Treasure Hunting
A distraught senior citizen phoned her
doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the
medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid
so,' the doctor told her.
There was a
moment of silence before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then, just
how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO
REFILLS'.'
***********************
An older
gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that
his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was
about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
'Yes, Dad, what
is it?'
'Don't be
nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if
something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and
your wife....'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and
start bragging about it.
---------------------------------
(My favorite)
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want
people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and
some of the roads weren't paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from being young.
-------------------------------
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
-------------------------------
First you forget names, then you
forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's
worse when you forget to pull it down.
---------------------------------
Long
ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft.
Today,
it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says
to the second guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I
guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.
The
second old guy says, 'That's OK; it's a coincidence. I'm looking for
my wife, too.' I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'
The
first old guy says, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does
she look like?'
'The
second old guy says, 'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue
eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What
does your wife look like?'
To
which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours.'
*********************
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder, and, your hand over my mouth.
doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the
medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid
so,' the doctor told her.
There was a
moment of silence before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then, just
how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO
REFILLS'.'
***********************
An older
gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that
his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was
about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
'Yes, Dad, what
is it?'
'Don't be
nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if
something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and
your wife....'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and
start bragging about it.
---------------------------------
(My favorite)
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want
people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and
some of the roads weren't paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from being young.
-------------------------------
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
-------------------------------
First you forget names, then you
forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's
worse when you forget to pull it down.
---------------------------------
Long
ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft.
Today,
it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says
to the second guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I
guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.
The
second old guy says, 'That's OK; it's a coincidence. I'm looking for
my wife, too.' I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'
The
first old guy says, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does
she look like?'
'The
second old guy says, 'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue
eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What
does your wife look like?'
To
which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours.'
*********************
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder, and, your hand over my mouth.
