How could you Grandma !??

[Spitfire Reddie]

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see through blouse on and no bra.
Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!
The teenager tells her "Loosen up, grams. These are modern times. You got let your rosebuds show!"and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.
The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate...
The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie.
If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging rose garden."

 

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[Spitfire Reddie]

Another grandma one !

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she ask how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realising our advanced age, we figured out best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow. Nothing too strenuous. "
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued,
"and if that ice cream van hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"