How to abruptly end a oneway conversation

[spartacus53]

This little one liner is best used in one of two circumstances, but I am sure you will find other ways to use it too. The first is for someone that is just talking nonsense that you can't understand and the second is for that big bag of wind that carries on without having anything to really say.

"You sound like a turd salesman with a mouthful of samples".

Stops them in their tracks every time

 

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[Charmin]

One of my husbands favorite sayings:
"You sound like a clapper bone in a goose's a$$" .
I don't know exactly what a "clapper bone" is though?

 

[spartacus53]

There's no need to know what a "clapper bone" is, the point is well driven.

I would love to hear other great one liners to stop people in their tracks too

 

[GopherDaGold]

My daughter hears this a lot from me:
"I've officially stopped listening now."

 

[savant365]

I just tell them that they are "nuttier then squirrel turds"

 

[The Beep Goes On]

If you time it right there is no better...

"Pardon me, you have a boogy in your nose."


Or, if appropriate, do what Maverick did to Slider...

Lean in close...take a big sniff...back away slowly giving them a look of disgust and say "You stink."

 

[bigscoop]

I just look them square in the eye, squinting a little with slightly puffy cheeks, and then say in a somewhat strained voice, "I have to poop." That usually ends things right then and there.

 

[stefen]

Hold the palm of your hand in front of their face and say 'Talk to the hand'

 

[Ray S ECenFL]

I just tell the caller that I am going to save us both a lot of time, then hang up.

 

[BigDan]

I might get in trouble for this......

"To maintain the organization of.....your post in "Everything Else" has been moved..."

I'm still laughing at the thought of someone trying to maintain the organization of Everything Else. And, yeah, it does end a conversation abruptly!

 

[savant365]

There was a line the movie "The Hangover" one guy says to the other "You're litteraly too $tupid to insult."

Another one I like to use is "Hold it right there, the ref just threw the bull$hit flag on ya."

or

"Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my as$".

 

[Dano Sverige]

English:

"Are you talking to me or chewing a brick? Because either way it's gonna end the same!" (loosing your teeth.)

 

[spartacus53]

Maybe the next time I'll try and do it with one sound and one word and see how that goes. It will go something like this

Them: blah, blah, blah, blah
M: Susssssh wait (and just look around and skyward)

Then just walk away like you heard a command that one one else heard. I am sure they will never talk to you again after a stunt like that

 

[The Beep Goes On]

You could just rip one. If you were mad you could turn around first.

 

[TheHarleyMan2]

I have one friend who continually talks, and I mean continually you would think that after spitting out words, they would stop and take a breath to inhale. The kind that their brain is in constant thought they they speak continually. This one can talk so fast and continually which everyone gets bored and tiring of hearing him that many just walk away or fall asleep and you can't even get a word in. It is even worse on the phone with him.

I usually tell him, "Hey wait a minute, quit talking, inhale, it will all be OK!"

Screws him up everytime!

 

[spartacus53]

You sure it's not me you're talking about? I am a motormouth when I need to be, only difference nothing can distract me once I have started. You reminded me of this little exchange.

Years ago I was making sales calls with my then Manager, a real motormouth, one who kept telling me the same story over and over again from his days in 1940's Chicago. Not only were his stories long and boring, I practically knew what everyone was wearing, that is how trivial his stories got. Honestly, I knew 3 stories by heart, word, for word.

We were driving to an account in CT and his ramblings made me miss an exit, I was so ticked I turned and interrupted his story with, "Come up of Air". He looked stunned and said what did you say? I said, "We are almost there". He never got it....