S
stefen
Guest
Men's rules for Women
We're always hearing about "the rules" from the female perspective. Well, us males have a few rules of our own and it's time that someone voiced them! Here are a list of Men's rules for Women:
- Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about it all the time.
- Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it out loud!
- "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
- Tell us about a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. If you just want a sympathetic ear, talk to your girlfriends.
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
- If you already know best how to do something, don't tell us how you want it done, just do it yourself.
- Men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default colour settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
- If you are cooking us a special dinner, be sure to include something from each of the four major food groups: Sugar, Fat, Starch and Alcohol.
- If we attempt to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie: Microwaving a burrito, fixing pasta, etc) it should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant the first time it walks.
- If we ask you what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know it's not true, but it's much less hassle.
- If you ask us a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you would choose to wear is fine by us... Really!
- You have too many shoes already.
- If you won't dress like the girls in the lingerie catalogue, don't expect us to act like the guys in the soap opera.
- If we have to sit through "Legends of the Fall", you have to sit through "Showgirls".
- And finally, when you read this we know we will probably have to sleep on the couch, but men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
We're always hearing about "the rules" from the female perspective. Well, us males have a few rules of our own and it's time that someone voiced them! Here are a list of Men's rules for Women:
- Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about it all the time.
- Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it out loud!
- "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
- Tell us about a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. If you just want a sympathetic ear, talk to your girlfriends.
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
- If you already know best how to do something, don't tell us how you want it done, just do it yourself.
- Men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default colour settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
- If you are cooking us a special dinner, be sure to include something from each of the four major food groups: Sugar, Fat, Starch and Alcohol.
- If we attempt to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie: Microwaving a burrito, fixing pasta, etc) it should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant the first time it walks.
- If we ask you what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know it's not true, but it's much less hassle.
- If you ask us a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you would choose to wear is fine by us... Really!
- You have too many shoes already.
- If you won't dress like the girls in the lingerie catalogue, don't expect us to act like the guys in the soap opera.
- If we have to sit through "Legends of the Fall", you have to sit through "Showgirls".
- And finally, when you read this we know we will probably have to sleep on the couch, but men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
