savant365
Silver Member
Jeff Foxworthy on Missouri
If your local Dairy Queen/ Tasty Freeze is closed from November
through March, you might live in Missouri .
If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work
there, you might live in Missouri .
If your dad's sun tan stops at a line curving around the middle of
his forehead, you might live in Missouri .
If you have ever worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might
live in Missouri .
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live
in Missouri .
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you might live in Missouri ...
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Missourian WHEN:
1. Vacation means going east or west on I-44 for the weekend but you
never leave the state.
2. You measure distance in * days.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.
5. You've seen the horns cut off a road killed deer as you pass by.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events including
weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
both doors unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them..
9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit or
go with a bathing suit, depending on the temperature.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,
road construction, & It's Hot..
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
a cedar tree.
13. "Down south" means the boot heel of Missouri .
14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
17. You have more miles on your 4 wheeler than your car.
18. You carry a chain in case you get stuck.
19. You know the difference between corn and soy beans at a glance.
20. The #1 reason you are from Missouri is because you know that East
St .Louis is not in Missouri .
21.. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20 feet above sea
level..
22. You meet a buddy on the road, stop in the middle of the road,
talk for an hour and no one passes by.
23. You don't believe it until you see it.
24. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
your Missouri friends
If your local Dairy Queen/ Tasty Freeze is closed from November
through March, you might live in Missouri .
If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work
there, you might live in Missouri .
If your dad's sun tan stops at a line curving around the middle of
his forehead, you might live in Missouri .
If you have ever worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might
live in Missouri .
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live
in Missouri .
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you might live in Missouri ...
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Missourian WHEN:
1. Vacation means going east or west on I-44 for the weekend but you
never leave the state.
2. You measure distance in * days.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.
5. You've seen the horns cut off a road killed deer as you pass by.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events including
weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
both doors unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them..
9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit or
go with a bathing suit, depending on the temperature.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,
road construction, & It's Hot..
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
a cedar tree.
13. "Down south" means the boot heel of Missouri .
14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
17. You have more miles on your 4 wheeler than your car.
18. You carry a chain in case you get stuck.
19. You know the difference between corn and soy beans at a glance.
20. The #1 reason you are from Missouri is because you know that East
St .Louis is not in Missouri .
21.. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20 feet above sea
level..
22. You meet a buddy on the road, stop in the middle of the road,
talk for an hour and no one passes by.
23. You don't believe it until you see it.
24. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
your Missouri friends
![:-\](https://www.treasurenet.com/smilies/undecided.gif "Undecided :-\")
