My Crazy Sister

[Arizona Bob]

I need some different opinions.

My sister (recently widowed) has a new boyfriend. Surprise! They are flying home this week so the new boyfriend (everyone calls him Golum- not his legal name) can ask Mom for her hand in marriage. Yea!

The ONLY problem I have with him, is that of his nickname (Golum). I asked her several times what his legal name is, and she manages to be evasive and change the subject. Red flag #1. Maybe it's a "guy thing", but it really irks me that a guy can't/won't give out his legal name. (Red flag #2) I have never met him- spoke on the phone a couple of times.

Sister has a fair amount of assets- insurance from hubby #1, house & land paid off, nice ride, money in the bank, etc.

Am I being overly suspicious? Should I just forget about it?

Can you suggest a smooth way to get him to state his legal name?

 

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[warsawdaddy]

Can you suggest a smooth way to get him to state his legal name?(quote)

When he walks in,grab the front of his shirt and pull him up to you and say,"let's see your driver's license,now!Nothing personal,just going to run a little check and if you don't produce,your a-s is mine.Welcome to the family.Hi,sis".

 

[vayank54]

I think she needs to be careful if she hasn't known him long. Being recently widowed too. I know a lady whose house and land was paid off and who also had some assets. She married a guy who evidently just married her for that reason as he won't try to work and just wants to lay around the house and will not even help with the housework, yardwork or anything. The lady is older and was afraid she would never find anyone else. Your sister is an adult and will have to make her own decision but something doesn't sound quite right. Good luck

 

[packerbacker]

Not really much you can do. Once you start questioning his motives etc., your sister is going to tell you to stay out of her affairs and quit trying to run her life. (just like a teenager) Then, after he rips her off, she'll come crying to everyone. Did she have any kids? They are the ones that may lose what may have ended up as theirs in the long run. If she has that much to protect, she should get a lawyer to do it legally for her and any possible children.

 

[mlayers]

Pull her off to the side and tell her your concerns. Let her know that people prey on people. Ask her if she really knows anything about him. Where he works, lives, about his family. Has she met his family. Let her know that you love her and care about what happens to her. If you get his real name you can do a search on the net and find out about him. This is what I would do....Matt

 

[stefen]

The name Golum means MUD...like in your @ss is mud...

Ever hear of a pre-nuptual agreement...get a lawyer into the equation...

By the way, the more you try to sway your sister, the more she will resist you and move forward in spit of the good advice.

 

[Arizona Bob]

Well, of course my first inclination is to have "a talk" with him out of range from the others, but I need to tread carefully until he shows me something I can act on. Also, my sister knows what I can do with a little info (name/dob/etc). I don't know yet if she is keeping his legal name away from me, or he is. My main concern at this point is how to deal with the situation if it turns out that he is keeping his legal name a secret. In other words, I'm pretty sure Gulom is not a "stage name" because he is a "stripper".

He had his own construction company... until the market died. Now he is underemployed and living with my sis.

 

[Arizona Bob]

I forgot to add: I really, really liked hubby #1.

 

[bildon]

get his licence plate no. off his car and have someone run it that gets name address and all.

 

[Arizona Bob]

Yeah. That ain't gonna happen. They live in Hawaii, we are on the lower 48. I tried to look at businesses thru the Hawaii Commerce website- to many businesses with Hawaiian partial names, etc. They are renting a car. Oh well!

 

[lonesomebob]

Get two really big mean lookin guys to go with you to meet her at the air terminal They only need to scowl as you ask. hehehe

 

[RON (PA)]

Not really much you can do. Once you start questioning his motives etc., your sister is going to tell you to stay out of her affairs and quit trying to run her life. (just like a teenager) Then, after he rips her off, she'll come crying to everyone. Did she have any kids? They are the ones that may lose what may have ended up as theirs in the long run. If she has that much to protect, she should get a lawyer to do it legally for her and any possible children.

I agree...tell your sister to get a pre-nup to protect her assessts. Even the mention of a pre-nup should send signal one way or the other (receptive vs. completely against it).

 

[K*E*L*L*Y]

Not really much you can do. Once you start questioning his motives etc., your sister is going to tell you to stay out of her affairs and quit trying to run her life. (just like a teenager) Then, after he rips her off, she'll come crying to everyone. Did she have any kids? They are the ones that may lose what may have ended up as theirs in the long run. If she has that much to protect, she should get a lawyer to do it legally for her and any possible children.

I agree...tell your sister to get a pre-nup to protect her assessts. Even the mention of a pre-nup should send signal one way or the other (receptive vs. completely against it).

LMFAO!!! be careful! even a "pre-nup" doesnt help if you stay married for like 10 years!
and most of the time... the person that asks for the pre nup HAS to agree on a SET dollar
amount to be paid to the other party should things not work out.... like so much per year of
marriage. yes this would be better than loosing half of everything... but... sometimes it ends up
being kinda costly to get rid of someone!!!! im just sayin!

 

[ivan salis]

oy vay --golum is mud in jewish speak --be very very careful -- a pre nup would be a wise move indeed to prevent being "had".

 

[Treasure_Hunter]

Yeah. That ain't gonna happen. They live in Hawaii, we are on the lower 48. I tried to look at businesses thru the Hawaii Commerce website- to many businesses with Hawaiian partial names, etc. They are renting a car. Oh well!

If he lives at your sisters, then his car should be there. You might be able to find a member or two from here that lives close enough in Hawaii that could "swing" by the house and look at the tag on the car if it is parked outside and get the tag number....

Then again there is always the old "she is my sister, and I will not be very happy if anything happens that makes her cry, I have a couple good friends and going back to prision doesn't really seem to bother them much."

 

[Old Fart in TN]

do a casual interview, shouldn't be to hard to find out what he does for work now that the mark is down and what gym ect he belongs to. All this over diner or drinks while his guard is down. Chit chat is wonderful for gleening information. Good luck don't give up.

 

[aa battery]

aint that a member here in TNET??

 

[Johnnysan]

Do a Google search for 'Golum' or 'Gollum'. You have been warned.

 

[Arizona Bob]

And also, is your sister hot?

Heh! Some guys think a "chick with money" is always hot!

 

[jeff of pa]

aint that a member here in TNET??

Yep.

Seemes Like a Cool Dude to me

Besides
Must be a Zepplin Fan.

"Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her
her, her....yeah. "