rules of my camp What are yours?

[onfire]

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1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.



2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.



3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

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4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.



5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.



6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.


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7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.



THOUGHT for the day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

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NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A LAXATIVE AND SLEEPING PILLS ON THE SAME NIGHT ![/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

 

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[Crispin]

1. When you get rejected by every other girl...tri delta.

2. Never go to bed Hungary...you might wake up in Belgium.

3. Shoot first, ask questions when everybody is dead.

 

[truckinbutch]

Don't eat eggs scrambled with ramps , drink a few beers , and then fart in the house .(Unless you already live alone .)

 

[pong12211]

What happens at camp stays at camp.... Divorces are expensive and can sometimes be avoided...

 

[Red James Cash]

1...Set your own tent up

2...If I bought the beer the last one is mine

3...If you bought the beer the last one is mine

 

[worldtalker]

Don't eat eggs scrambled with ramps , drink a few beers , and then fart in the house .(Unless you already live alone .)

I am rather partial to ramps.

 

[Gold Maven]

Just noticed there is an expiration date on mouse poison, does this mean it can go good ?

 

[LinkHylian]

#2 is RIGHT ON THE MONEY for me. I always pee in the sink. It wastes a lot less water and because I'm so tall there's not all that splash-up like a normal toilet creates. I can't think of any G.F's that I've had that have had any issues with it, maybe cause I've got such good aim hahaha.

 

[Rebel - KGC]

#2 is RIGHT ON THE MONEY for me. I always pee in the sink. It wastes a lot less water and because I'm so tall there's not all that splash-up like a normal toilet creates. I can't think of any G.F's that I've had that have had any issues with it, maybe cause I've got such good aim hahaha.

CAMPING...? NO P'ing in the wind...

 

[bill from lachine]

Folks,

Never pass up a chance at a good joke....even when it's at your own expense.....laughter is the best medicine....just ask Crispin?

Regards + HH

Bill

 

[onfire]

If Jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares,why is there a dumb song about him?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What the heck is baby oil made of

 

[Crispin]

1. On a saturday night, always remember, two birds in the hand is worth one in the bush.

2. Eat, drink, and be merry; for tomorrow, we die.

3. If two roads diverge in a yellow wood...turn around and run for cover!

 

[Rebel - KGC]

REGULAR COWBOY coffee over a camp-fire... ONLY.

 

[G.I.B.]

If you wake up in the middle of the night and I'm not in the camp-

It's probably going to be bad for you, but fun for the bear.

 

[pat-tekker-cat]

This sign is on my fridge, what I could consider, "my camp".

 

[austin]

Heard a midas commercial today: Don't play poker with a guy named Lucky...

 

[Chadeaux]

This sign is on my fridge, what I could consider, "my camp".

You have nothing on your fridge? Don't you like kids? When I drove a school bus, some of the kids would give me pics for my fridge because they knew I had no children at the time.

 

[pat-tekker-cat]

You have nothing on your fridge? Don't you like kids? When I drove a school bus, some of the kids would give me pics for my fridge because they knew I had no children at the time.

I have a few other things there, but if I said what they were, the thread would get locked. As to your asumptious question, I LOVE kids,
they taste like chicken!

 

[Chadeaux]

I was just joking as nothing showed in your post when I viewed it here. I see that now there is an image so it has been fixed.

Thought you might have forgotten to include the link to your image.

Please accept my apology.

 

[onfire]

I have a few other things there, but if I said what they were, the thread would get locked. As to your asumptious question, I LOVE kids,
they taste like chicken!

Why do people constantly return to the fridge with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?