Urine Tests

[fyrffytr1]

[FONT=&quot]Safety Signs...[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Quick urine test....[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

Go pee on the trunk of a tree.

If it attracts ants you have high glucose.

If it dries too fast - too much sodium

If it smells like meat - high cholesterol.

Forgot to open pants - Alzheimers.

Had trouble aiming at the tree - Parkinsons.

If you peed on your feet - prostate.

Could not smell pee - Covid.[/FONT]

 

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[boogeyman]

Trick I used to play back in the day. I'd take a specimen cup and fill it with apple juice. I'd place it on the nurses station with the top off, and eventually one of the RNs would walk by and yell "What the hells this!" I'd slide up take a healthy sip, put it back down and reply "Yup! That's urine!" and walk away. The look of horror was good for a few hours of giggles.

 

[Back-of-the-boat]

 

[ticndig]

lots of foam = dehydrated

 

[Rebel - KGC]

Yellow; it's snowing like here, now...

 

[devldog]

That there was a Good ern'. That would be sorta like Bill Murray in the pool scene of Caddyshack.

 

[newnan man]

The Doctor said he needed me to give a urine sample, a stool sample, & a sperm sample. I said "Doc, I'm in a hurry can I just leave you my underwear?

 

[Rebel - KGC]

That there was a Good ern'. That would be sorta like Bill Murray in the pool scene of Caddyshack.

LOL!

 

[Rebel - KGC]

Yellow Snow is gone now, RAINING...

 

[Red-Coat]

My Doc pointed to a row of specimen containers on a shelf and said: "could you fill one of those?"

I said: "What... from here?"

 

[SusanMN]

I used to manage the drug testing program for an airline. I have spent more hours discussing urine than I can count.

 

[Rebel - KGC]

I used to manage the drug testing program for an airline. I have spent more hours discussing urine than I can count.

WOW!

 

[billb]

fyrffytr1 this is the best well said

 

[boogeyman]

That there was a Good ern'. That would be sorta like Bill Murray in the pool scene of Caddyshack.

If you want to re-create that, go to a pool supply store and get a refill bottle for the chlorine test kit. Not the little one you want the pint or larger. Pour a good amount in a zip lock bag and place it in your swim trunks. Enter the pool and stand out in the middle with a relieved look on your face while giving the bag a healthy squeeze, and watch the panic. If you do it at a home it's cool. Try it at a public pool, you may be asked to leave until you show them the trick. Yup been there done that (x9).

 

[boogeyman]

Stool sample? Two large Baby Ruth candy bars. Roll and mush them together until they look like a big turd. Place inside your pants behind your belt. While talking to your victim, every so often make the face & grunt like you're trying to push a big one. After two or three suck your stomach in & let it drop. Shake it out your pant leg, pick it up off the floor. Take a big bite, hold it out to your victim and ask "Ummh You want a bite? Made a first Sgt. scream like a little girl. Funny I don't think I ever told him what it was.