Very Strange Dating Website Tale, Still Shaking My Head!

[GopherDaGold]

Ok so it's raining to beat the band and I cant go detecting so I decided to share this story. It happened just last week.

I'd been using a popular free dating site since my divorce in '08. I won't tell you the name of the site but the initials are P.O.F. I've had successes and failures since joining and met some nice people. I dated one lady for almost 2 years. Perfect in every way except when it came time for intimacy. Nada, zero, zilch. I still like her very much and we remain as friends but hey, I need a lil romance sometimes.
Anyway, I usually get fed up and hide my profile for a few months after a bad experience and was just coming off of my latest self-imposed hiatus to look around for new profiles. I saw a message at the top of the 'My Matches' page that recommended I view the profiles that were listed with the message.
I clicked around a couple of them and quietly agreed to myself that yes, several of them were indeed a match based on personality, likes, dislikes, etc. I noticed however that they were too far away for me to even consider striking up a conversation.
I then noticed another profile in that list, one that I'd seen, and clicked on many times in the past. She was an attractive blonde and according to her profile, lived in the same town as me. We shared some interests like hockey and NASCAR and to boot we were a 96% match according to our personality questionaire. I think I've even sent her messages in the past but nothing ever came of it.
I went ahead and shot her an email telling her that the site had recommended I view her profile, that we shared some common interests, were a 96% match, yada, yada, yada.
It didn't take long for her to send me a message back. Apparently she looked at my profile after reading my message. I will now paste our conversation here:

ME: (1st message) I was looking at some profiles when at the top of the page it said: 'It is recommended that you look at these members profiles', so I did. Yours was among them so I thought I should drop you a line to say hi.
I enjoy the outdoors and love to stay fit and active. I am not on an exercise regimen yet but I've always been in good shape without killing myself in the gym. (her profile said she liked to work out and had recently joined a gym) I use to be able to eat whatever and whenever I wanted without gaining an ounce. Not so much anymore though.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Ken

(She reads my message and goes to look at my profile. Sends this message back)

HER: I know what you mean with the whole single parent thing...I have 3 teenage boys at home.....2 - 18 & 1 - 15....it's rough but worth it (most of the time!) I'll get back w/you shortly when I go to lunch okay? Don't want to lose my job! LMAO!!

ME: Ok, I'm at work myself, lol!!

(Ok, something is feeling a bit familiar now so I go back to look at her profile pics...then it hit me! I sent this message back

ME: Hey! Aren't you my across the street neighbor? (yellow jeep) I feel stupid now, lol!!

HER: OMG.....where across the street And yes....Yellow Jeep would be me! LOL! How funny!

HER: (again) Samantha's dad For some reason I didn't recognize you.....BTW.....Think Dale Jr.!!! Not Kenseth!! This is so weird....

ME: Yeah wierd is right. I'm Samanthas jailer or dad or whatever. I thought you were seeing the twins dad?
(there were more messages but I think you get the idea)

So anyway, there you have it. What are the odds? She lives directly accross the street from me, I'd viewed her profile dozens of times, and her pictures as well as mine are quite honest.
Reminds me of a story concerning a purloined letter. The best way to hide something is right out in the open. Either that or I'm too stupid to match up a photo to a live person.
I still haven't gone next door to introduce myself properly yet. There are other issues at play, (mostly concerning her kids) that prevent me from doing so.
I am going to have to think about this one for a while because I like close but this is SCARY close!

 

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[sniffer]

that IS scary close. when all you're doing is dating, you don't want them close enough to see what you're doing and with whom. JMO

 

[GopherDaGold]

Yeah, we're not talking about across and DOWN the street a ways close, we're talking about DIRECTLY-across-the-road-look-out-your-window-to-see-who's-in-my-driveway close!

 

[sniffer]

run away, RUN AWAY FAST.

 

[warsawdaddy]

I don't see anything scary about it.I see convience.You probably already know if she is truly attractive and why haven't you hit on her sooner?Tell her you'll pick her up and take her to dinner then you'll know better the situation.

 

[GopherDaGold]

She was dating the father of my kids twin BFF's down the road. I thought she was either still with him or someone else in the 'hood.

 

[TheHarleyMan2]

Yeah pretty funny! I tried dating sites a long time ago, (9 years ago), several of them. What I found is most of the women posted pictures of them like 20-30 years ago and they would claim they didn't have a recent picture but they looked the same. But they always had a face picture posted and no other pictures. I found that after about 50 responses to ads, only about 2-3 replied back. After replying to each other we would exchange e-mail addresses and most of them wanted a full body, (clothed) picture. The ones that did respond always claimed they couldn't get recent pictures uploaded as they were not so computer savvy. Of course they gave me a description of what they looked like and stats, etc.

I could understand the older pictures as I still look the same as I did 30 years ago besides a few facial wrinkles. So I went with it. Upon meeting one of them, she was no way looked the same as she did before and her weight was off by 135 pounds. I am not knocking heavy set women, but there is someone for everyone, and the activities I do I am not into heavy set women. So being we were eating dinner as I couldn't back out now, I asked how come she lied about her information she stated. Her story was she must have mistyped the numbers backwards. Ok, I guess I could understand that because sometimes I type real fats and sometimes the letters get mixed up. I told her that because of my activities of hiking, skydiving, etc, and doing a lot outdoors activities I wanted someone who could do the same things with me, (as I told her in the e-mails as well, she said she does some of that stuff, but never went skydiving and wanted to go), I am sorry but I never seen a 270lb person who was 5'3" go skydiving, much less hiking up in the mountains and cliff climbing and rappelling, etc. There was no way possible this woman was in shape as she claimed she was from what I saw. I won't go into more detail about her and leave it just that.

So I was being nice and told her that I don't think her and I was compatible. She got mad and starting ranting and pitching a fit. I told her if she knew in my profile I stated, I don't argue or fight and I wasn't going put up with it in a public place. She kept getting loader, I got up found the waitress, payed the bill and left her there.

The other times it was pretty much the same way. Misrepresentation on stats, older pictures, etc, but they wanted a man who was in shape, etc, like me, in shape toned and fit, keeps up with themselves, etc. So it was back to square one every time.

Now recently I did check out some dating websites. I joined a couple of them, here is what I found. Lets say out of 200 replies to some ads, only 1 would reply back that was legit, but found she was having some issues of having to move, needed some money because she could pay some of her bills etc. 175 others would be some women, (later to be found it was a young woman in her 20's using someone elses picture in the ad), after I gave her (my spam e-mail account, Ya hoo, not my personal one) we would exchange an e-mail after the second reply from her she would send me an e-mail with a link directing me to her adult website for me to join or me to use my credit card for age verification because they were concerned for their safety. The other 24 replies I got, was the same things as my first experience. I just don't know what is up with women now a days, I am sure some men do it to, (but I don't date men so I can't answer that), they post older pictures, or they just post a facial picture, make up some excuse, after asking them to send you a full body picture, (long after they requested one from you that you sent), then ask you why does that matter, etc. Some of the other women I talked to were also married, claimed they are going through a divorce, etc. So after meeting a couple of women who said, "they were going through a divorce and had been separated for several months to a years), but during the first meeting it came out that they were not really separated and just wanted to have some fun. So that was a no brainer on my decision. I don't date married women.

I guess now a days everyone is on the internet rather than going out, or spending time with their significant other, etc. I know the internet has ruined a lot of relationships and marriages because one tends to live on the computer 24/7s and the people who were supposed to be in love and marriage, etc, now find themselves not doing the same things anymore falling out of love and the relationship breaking up. I know this for fact. As my last relationship to a woman for 8 years and I was engaged to at one time, her being on the computer every second every hour from the time she got home after eating dinner, until it came time to go to bed. The only time I got on the computer, (which was rarely), was when she wasn't home, or to check my business or army e-mail accounts. She quit doing the things with me that we had always done together and enjoyed, for 3 years I talked to her about it and she would never respond about resolving our issues on the internet. So then we grew apart and are no longer together.

So what do I do now. I stay off of dating websites as there are nothing but spam bots and liars on them and decided if I am going to go out and meet someone. I will do it the old fashion way, that way, I can see who is married by seeing a ring on their finger and stay away from, find a woman who is attractive to me and vise versa

 

[sniffer]

Amen Harley, Amen

 

[BuckleBoy]

that IS scary close. when all you're doing is dating, you don't want them close enough to see what you're doing and with whom. JMO

Guess you're gonna have to keep this one above board if she matters to ya. 8)

 

[spartacus53]

I had once gone the online dating route myself and it was a waste of my time. My profile was humorous to say the least and I do remember posting that if you wanted to date me, just bring bail money. Well, I got a reply from an attorney, stating why bother with bail when you have an attorney? I liked her reply and we went out for lunch. Needless to say, she was very attractive, but in her practice she was defending a high profile banking scam artist, the likes of Bernie Madoff. She also brought her son along who was about 3-4 years old. I don't need to have a lunch and see some kid looking at me like I am his daddy. Anyway, during the lunch she was going on and on about this case; I was rapidly losing interest and was studying the dessert menu After we finished, I thanked her for her time and said that it was a pleasure meeting her, but there is no connection as far as I could see. I also mentioned that I didn't like her practice specializing in defending dirtbags. So much for romance there

I have also seen mention of the ladies that post pictures of them taken several years ago, and found it difficult to recognize them.. Another line on my post was that I was looking for attractive, fit women and that I was shallow in this respect. I also mentioned that many complain about people being shallow when it comes to looks, but said that I had plenty of company in the shallow end of the pool

 

[packerbacker]

Was her name Janet Reno?? Didn't know she had a son....heck, didn't think she COULD have one.

 

[vibes]

I had once gone the online dating route myself and it was a waste of my time. My profile was humorous to say the least and I do remember posting that if you wanted to date me, just bring bail money. Well, I got a reply from an attorney, stating why bother with bail when you have an attorney? I liked her reply and we went out for lunch. Needless to say, she was very attractive, but in her practice she was defending a high profile banking scam artist, the likes of Bernie Madoff. She also brought her son along who was about 3-4 years old. I don't need to have a lunch and see some kid looking at me like I am his daddy. Anyway, during the lunch she was going on and on about this case; I was rapidly losing interest and was studying the dessert menu After we finished, I thanked her for her time and said that it was a pleasure meeting her, but there is no connection as far as I could see. I also mentioned that I didn't like her practice specializing in defending dirtbags. So much for romance there

I have also seen mention of the ladies that post pictures of them taken several years ago, and found it difficult to recognize them.. Another line on my post was that I was looking for attractive, fit women and that I was shallow in this respect. I also mentioned that many complain about people being shallow when it comes to looks, but said that I had plenty of company in the shallow end of the pool

Ahem, excuse me Spartacus but where's your mug photo?

 

[spartacus53]

Ahem, excuse me Spartacus but where's your mug photo?

I am still in the process of cleaning up for that shot, and trust me, it'll take a while . My photo shop seems to be on the blink too. I look something like my avatar, but from far away and completely different.

 

[Mighty AP]

Spart sent me a pic & asked me not to post it so..........here you go. No doubt, it was taken in 1974!!!

 

[Real de Tayopa Tropical Tramp]

Geeze ap de Bergerac, I didn't realize that you were soooooo manly, and sexy. swoon, sigh, gasp, wanna start with smoochies, or waste time eating first? Be still oh beating heart.

I only have one problem on compatability, I only go for gals such as mi Viber. sniff

However, if you can forgive me, whatcha gonna buy me for dinner?

Hint I like Plum Saki.

Don Jose de La Mancha (El Santo that has been celibate too long, with only his mule for company)

 

[vibes]

Geeze ap de Bergerac, I didn't realize that you were soooooo manly, and sexy. swoon, sigh, gasp, wanna start with smoochies, or waste time eating first? Be still oh beating heart.

I only have one problem on compatability, I only go for gals such as mi Viber. sniff

However, if you can forgive me, whatcha gonna buy me for dinner?

Hint I like Plum Saki.

Don Jose de La Mancha (El Santo that has been celibate too long, with only his mule for company)

Oh Real,

you do realize that one is never, ever suppose to pour their own first swig of sake, right? Well at least that's what I've been taught.
I'd pour your sake anyday

Mighty AP...ack, steroids....naw gonna pass on that action. Ewwwww. And probably hung like a hampster. Damn, that's just not worth it, ya know?

 

[packerbacker]

excuse me

 

[EDDE]

Like a screen door in a hurricane

 

[truckinbutch]

Was her name Janet Reno?? Didn't know she had a son....heck, didn't think she COULD have one.

Janet has a daughter : Chelsea Clinton .

 

[GopherDaGold]

Ok to get back on track...
I saw her washing the jeep on Thursday night so I gathered up a couple beers and my courage and walked across the street.
I spent about an hour talki... no, listening as I probably got in ten words total.

This gal has been involved in just about every bad thing you could imagine. Drugs, jail, DUI's, ex-hubby in prison, kids on probation with more pending charges...

We're getting married next month. You are all invited.