You cant fix stupid #2

[against the wind]

Nope, , I never did anything like that, ,

 

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[Limitool]

Aww how I long for those years when I bounced instead of breaking.....

Damn right... I'm brittle now! I'd love to "bounce" again.

Archery deer hunting once. 45 minutes before daylight I'm heading into my swamp edge tree stand. 20 degrees and 6-8 inches of snow. I find with ease. Hooked bow onto cord hanging from tree stand and laid down on ground. Climbed up into the 15 ft. tree stand. I leaned over the end of the tree stand, bent over and grabbed the string. Got bow about 1/2 up and SUDDENLY a feeling came over me that I've leaned out to far (just a little-but too far). Slow motion time scale now.... I swung string to one side and let go. Then I started to "windmill" my arms putting off the know upcoming happening. So I now had a choice... just take the freefall or make a controlled jump in total darkness. I knew where the short stubs of previous cut saplings trees were below so I made a "controlled" jump. It took forever it seemed to hit the ground.

Guess I "bounced". Between the pack boots, heavy clothes, some thin ice, bending at knees upon impact and rolling I was no worse for wear. Was back up into tree within 5 minutes (with bow).

Safety belt.... Who the hell needs it The fall didn't hurt at all.... but that sudden stop sucks. Believe it or not I got a nice 8 pt. that morning 1/2 hr. after sunrise!!!!

 

[MrMikeJackie]

I'm still waiting for the "stupid" part?

 

[boogeyman]

Yeah me too....... Sounds like it all came out better than expected! Bet that 8pter was hanging out with his buddies & said, Hey let's go see what the dumb hunter did!

Ya ever ponder why things always seem to go slo mo when these things happen? My theory is God does that on purpose so we'll learn on the way down. I haven't learned a thing yet. Can just imagine showing up at the pearly gates & St. Petes gonna say Hi Dummy! You're late! where you been?

 

[Oregon Viking]

I followed a girl friend to Rainier Oregon. (Mistake number one) It was my first GF. I was 17 she was too. Her parents were "flighty"
Well It didn't work out so I rode mu Suzuki GS-750 to Portland, was going to mess around then go home. Racing on the "cruising" strip, 82nd ave I hit a car that was turning left..hey isn't that the fast lane?, at about 75 MPH. No slo mo. I hit the hatchback with my left shoulder and head, flipped about 4 times (according to the peeps waiting on a bench for the bus..) Landed on my feet. Woke up1-2 minutes later. Left shoulder .. sore but OK. No helmet, no shirt! Bikes forks were bent into the engine, tire was inbetween the 4 into one header. Called my dad, whom was PISSED because he had to miss work, to come get me.
I was installing new forks (from a Z1) while my left arm was in a sling!

 

[Honest Samuel]

If it ain't broke don't fix it!!

My body is broken and I do not know how to fix broken bones.

 

[pencil5757]

My body is broken and I do not know how to fix broken bones.

Yea buddy you said it!!!

 

[boogeyman]

My body is broken and I do not know how to fix broken bones.

DUCT TAPE!!!! Duct tape fixes everything!!!!

Duct tape is like Star Wars. It has a light side, it has a darkside, and it holds the whole universe together!

 

[Chadeaux]

I followed a girl friend to Rainier Oregon. (Mistake number one) It was my first GF. I was 17 she was too. Her parents were "flighty"
Well It didn't work out so I rode mu Suzuki GS-750 to Portland, was going to mess around then go home. Racing on the "cruising" strip, 82nd ave I hit a car that was turning left..hey isn't that the fast lane?, at about 75 MPH. No slo mo. I hit the hatchback with my left shoulder and head, flipped about 4 times (according to the peeps waiting on a bench for the bus..) Landed on my feet. Woke up1-2 minutes later. Left shoulder .. sore but OK. No helmet, no shirt! Bikes forks were bent into the engine, tire was inbetween the 4 into one header. Called my dad, whom was PISSED because he had to miss work, to come get me.
I was installing new forks (from a Z1) while my left arm was in a sling!

Reminds me of how I got my nickname ... Was doing about 80 when I saw him crossing the road, so swerved my T500 Suzuki left to go behind him. When I stood the bike back up, he was right there "going to the light".

Did you know that an armadillo will wedge your front wheel at 60 mph? Well, I rolled ... and rolled ... and rolled. My brothers said they measured from the dead armadillo to the spot where they picked up my bike and it was 300' --- seems a bit far thinking back, but while it was happening it took forever.

I was rolling and bouncing down the highway, oncoming traffic on the left, canal on the right (did I mention I couldn't swim?). As I'm rolling bouncing, so is the motorcycle ... just behind me --- and so was some traffic.

As soon as we both came to rest, about 6 - 8 feet apart, I drug myself up and stood the bike up so I could try to drag it off the highway. Bottom of my full coverage helmet was gone (evidently did a face plant first) blood all over my hands and running down my right forearm. My leathers were stolen while I was at the Zebra concert taking pics, so I only had an old Denim jacket that I kept in the saddlebags and no gloves.

That was about 2 AM on a Sunday morning. The bike was hardly hurt. Some scrapes, a broken turn signal and the forks were slightly twisted.

Was back up on the bike two days later, and a friend wanted to take a spin on the bike. He crashed it into a ditch bank and straightened the forks. Both times, the bike made a trip back to Mike's shop to get checked out, both times he said it was sound. When I sold it, the fella had it checked out and Mike said the bike was still in better shape than me.

 

[boogeyman]

he was right there "going to the light". Thought that was the best misspelling EVER! Or was that a subliminal thing?

You left out the part where you drop kicked him into the canal........

It's not animal cruelty! It's just scientific testing to prove whether armadillos can swim!

 

[Limitool]

I'm still waiting for the "stupid" part?

Should have used the safety strap (that was present). I had about 15 tree stands set up that year with straps present at all of them. Never came close to falling again.... nothing like a dose of experience to highlight your day! I just never liked the feeling of being "tied" to the tree.... guess I had my "movement"... all 15 ft. of it including the small platform.

 

[Msbeepbeep]

Well now you "know" where your tipping point is!
And your still in one piece.

 

[Dr. Syn]

Well if I listed all mine we'd be here for weeks, if not months. But here's one that stands out.

When I was 4 I had a pedal car. No full sheet metal body, was just a bunch of tubes to support everything. My family raced modified stock cars at the time, so that was my race car, I even hand painted a B4 of the back of the seat, just like our cars had numbers.

Anywho, I lived on a farm, the county road was part of my play ground, you were lucky to see two cars or trucks a day. Just past our place the road dropped down to the valley below. Probably a mile or so to the valley, but the road was at a near 45 degree angle down.

Got this bright idea to see how fast I could go on said hill. Pedaled my car to the top of the hill and without a second thought started down.
When folks say "It went all down hill from that" I was probably the poster child for it.

First problem encountered, direct drive, wheels to pedals. Also how you stopped, by holding the pedals, unlike a bike where the pedals freewheel.
Oh about a hundred yards down and the pedals had turned into blender like speed. So I removed my feet from them.
Now no brakes, and have to avoid pedals or have feet removed.

As the car reached the sound barrier, I noted another problem. Play in the steering became amplified the faster the car went. So even though I'm holding the steering wheel in a death grip, the road wheels are now wobbling and turning back and forth. So I'm treated to a vibration like a cheap motel vibrating bed, while at the same time the car is veering back and forth across the road.

Then physics took over and gravity be damned. Said road wheels finally exceeded my ability to hold somewhat the steering straight. In less then the blink of an eye, the wheels slammed over to the left, dug in, and proceeded to launch said car and driver. And this was no ordinary launch, remember I'm traveling now at the speed of sound. Car and occupant, since I wasn't driving anymore, escape the force of gravity, leaving the pavement. At the same time due to the launch angle, car starts to roll and cartwheel at the same time.

Not touching the pavement, we rolled and cartwheeled for what seemed like hours. In brief glimpses I noted that while all this was going on, we were not slowing down, and we were veering to the left. To the left was good/bad. Good as we were headed to the grassy berm. Bad as the grassy berm sat next to the rock strewn ditch.

We cleared the grass with ease. We impacted the ditch like an artillery shell going off. Remember me saying the car had no sheet metal body? Well mine took place of it. I don't know how many times we hit as we rolled down the ditch slowly loosing speed. Somewhere along the line we departed ways, me going one way and the car another. Or so I thought. Seems the car decided it wasn't done with me. As I tumbled down the ditch, the car followed, slamming me repeatedly from behind.

We both came to a rest in a cloud of dust at the bottom of the hill. I was too stunned to move, or hurt. I just laid there till things started to stop spinning. Slowly I realized I wasn't dead, but soon also realized that there wasn't one part of my body that didn't hurt.

Some tentative movements told me all my parts were still attached, and I proceeded to slowly stand up.

I pushed my car back up the hill and decided to tell no one about my adventure. Worked out well till the next day when I was purple from head to toe from all the bruises.

 

[releventchair]

Ahh, yes ..the dreaded death wobble!

 

[Scott-N-TN]

I just joined this forum and saw this and had to chuckle a bit. While building my garage i had the radio playing while hanging osb between cold ones. Hmm, could be a male thing, lol.
Anyhow, glad the truck didn't take a licking from the garage door. Happy hunting from E. TN.

 

[releventchair]

Last winter while running the 1970's 11 H.P. Heald three wheeler up and down the private road just to get the battery charged and some carbon out of it(it's pretty clean anyway) when hitting the two thirds length of road it would be wide open.
Fortunately when the throttle stuck(ice in cable) I was heading towards the dead end and forest rather than main road about a fifth mi. the opposite direction.
My slow mind raced to find a snowpile that was not a stump or other unyielding object after dragging a rear tire in the snowbank along the road and holding the band brakes was not doing much for reducing forward momentum...
A flower bed rimmed with large rocks had lots of snow and with a big poof I crashed into it with the front wheel ending up about three foot above ground level thus reducing momentum substantially; and quick..
Success!
So I made another run up to main road, turned around and opened her up again.

Throttle stuck at wide open but that time I used the kill switch and then worked on deicing the cable.

 

[Limitool]

Well if I listed all mine we'd be here for weeks, if not months. But here's one that stands out.

Dr.... YOU got that RIGHT! If most of us folks would come forward WE ALL KNOW a damn "stupid" thread would be NEVER ENDING! Some stories would be simply but stupid... and others outright STUPID!

But to join in I guess you'd have to "rat" yourself out and while that sucks... most of us would just laugh our butts out. Gotta have a sense of humor folks...?

 

[boogeyman]

Dr.... YOU got that RIGHT! If most of us folks would come forward WE ALL KNOW a damn "stupid" thread would be NEVER ENDING! Some stories would be simply but stupid... and others outright STUPID!

But to join in I guess you'd have to "rat" yourself out and while that sucks... most of us would just laugh our butts out. Gotta have a sense of humor folks...?

You got that right!!!! Without a sense of humor we're just a bunch of zombies.

Gotta love the kill switch story! It helped renew the faith in myself now knowing I'm not the only one who remembers what the kill switch is for after everything is done! Glad to know I'm not alone. A neighbor kid & I put a 125 Honda motor on a TACO minibike frame. We decided I was gonna be the test pilot. Took off from the corner, and everything was good! Tried to stop at the next corner. Blazed through the stop (Thank god no cross traffic) and stood on the brake and down shifting. Half a block later figured out the little plate rubbing on the back tire made a lousy excuse for a brake. After all the neighborhood kids caught up, I came to the conclusion Tshirt, slip on tennie s and cut off jeans weren't good riding clothes. Looked down and finally remembered the kill switch we so carefully mickey moused on the handle bars wasn't just there for looks. Helmut you ask!?!? We were kids! We didn't need no stinking helmuts!! A week later my buddy was riding it in a dirt field, went off a little jump, and the fork bolt fell out. It was the funniest sight to see him flying through the air like superman with the forks straight out in front of him with the minibike following! He landed face first, broke his jaw & knocked out a tooth. Yup! You guessed it! The minibike got a shiny new FOR SALE sign designed by mom.......

 

[Boatlode]

Don't feel too bad, OP: your garage door incident doesn't even make my top 10 of stupid.

Most of the really stupid stuff I have done involved electricity.

And beer.

 

[boogeyman]

Don't feel too bad, OP: your garage door incident doesn't even make my top 10 of stupid.

Most of the really stupid stuff I have done involved electricity.

And beer.

Please please elaborate!! Electrical boo boos are the best as long as no one dies.

I'll start it off We had an engineer whose job it was to diagnose problems with computer monitors. Well, I was running phone line through the bottoms of some partitions when all of a sudden all you know what breaks loose. After I climb out from under a couple of partition panels and see that a whole row of them had gone down I looked around and everyone in the room was just carrying on as usual!?!? Then I remember the guy working on the monitors and run over to where he was. Well he was on the floor across the aisle huffing. I asked him if he was alright, and before he could answer almost in unison a couple of people say "Naw, he's OK he does this about once a month." Yup! He wasn't very good at getting the high voltage probe in the right place, and quite frequently hit the flyback. Then about a month or so later, I'm trying to bend a lead over for a 440v line with one of those 2 1/2' long screwdrivers. It slipped and I was between the lead & the cabinet. Woke up with the familiar metallic taste and proceeded to figure out the screwdriver was about 1/2" shorter and my wedding ring was almost fused to the shaft. The engineer just happened to be walking by to the break room and proceeds to lean over me and says "Pretty cool huh?" "Want some coffee?". Well there went one life!