Monty
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- Joined
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- ACE 250, Garrett
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SOMEWHERE IN THE GREAT AMERICAN DESERT, 12 FEB.07
The United States Government Department of Defense has finally ended speculation about the mysterious Area 51 when it was announced that a troupe of Boy Scouts had become lost while camping out and accidentally pitched their tents in Hanger 27 on Area 51. Scout Leader Hiram Spudnuts commented that we were shocked when the medical team arrived and turned the lights on that morning. What he and the troupe saw was the naked body of a living alien from outer space being tended by dozens of medical personnel. ( More on Mr. Spudnuts, Page 5.)
The U. S. Government released informaltion on the giant space alien saying she was from a planet approximately 300 light years outside our solar system. The gravity on her home planet is approximately 1/4 of the gravity on earth, allowing the aliens to grow to tremendous height. When the alien mother ship crashed near Roswell, NM in 1952 there were 4 survivors but "Nadine" is the only visitor from outer space still living. Due to her tremendous size she must contend with a G-force of approximately 4 times her home planet and this causes failure of the major organ unless prevented by a quick medical response. All the other aliens died before a cure was decided upon that has so far saved the live of "Nadine". Although very weak Nadine has tried to assist local scientists in keeping her alive and opening a channel of communications. Dr. P.P. Implant said the aliens's body and organs was identical to ours until it was discovered accidentally that the alien's sex and reproductive organs were located in her ears. Meanwhile Dr. I.M. Kinky of Columbia University is pictured administering Nadine her annual physical exam. Dr. Kinky said she especially looked forward to the hearing exam. Dr. M. O. Diem of Hong Kong stated he has played a major role in making the alien comfortable by treating her often recurring dysentery caused from eating earth food. On her home planet their diet consists almost entirely of raw sewage and what we call garbage. It was admitted that those mysterious barges of human waste and garbage from New Jersey has sustained her life since 1957. "That's how they solved their waste problem," said Dr. Dium, "They simply ate it." Lt. General Sticky Buns of the Pentagon said they had planned on announcing the being Nadine to the world in July 2007 had the Boy Scouts not stumbled onto the project in the darkness. He was at a loss to explain how the Boy Scouts had accidentally subverted the security at the base. (See follow up story on page 9.)
This would have been my entry in the biggest liars contest had I not missed the deadline.
The United States Government Department of Defense has finally ended speculation about the mysterious Area 51 when it was announced that a troupe of Boy Scouts had become lost while camping out and accidentally pitched their tents in Hanger 27 on Area 51. Scout Leader Hiram Spudnuts commented that we were shocked when the medical team arrived and turned the lights on that morning. What he and the troupe saw was the naked body of a living alien from outer space being tended by dozens of medical personnel. ( More on Mr. Spudnuts, Page 5.)
The U. S. Government released informaltion on the giant space alien saying she was from a planet approximately 300 light years outside our solar system. The gravity on her home planet is approximately 1/4 of the gravity on earth, allowing the aliens to grow to tremendous height. When the alien mother ship crashed near Roswell, NM in 1952 there were 4 survivors but "Nadine" is the only visitor from outer space still living. Due to her tremendous size she must contend with a G-force of approximately 4 times her home planet and this causes failure of the major organ unless prevented by a quick medical response. All the other aliens died before a cure was decided upon that has so far saved the live of "Nadine". Although very weak Nadine has tried to assist local scientists in keeping her alive and opening a channel of communications. Dr. P.P. Implant said the aliens's body and organs was identical to ours until it was discovered accidentally that the alien's sex and reproductive organs were located in her ears. Meanwhile Dr. I.M. Kinky of Columbia University is pictured administering Nadine her annual physical exam. Dr. Kinky said she especially looked forward to the hearing exam. Dr. M. O. Diem of Hong Kong stated he has played a major role in making the alien comfortable by treating her often recurring dysentery caused from eating earth food. On her home planet their diet consists almost entirely of raw sewage and what we call garbage. It was admitted that those mysterious barges of human waste and garbage from New Jersey has sustained her life since 1957. "That's how they solved their waste problem," said Dr. Dium, "They simply ate it." Lt. General Sticky Buns of the Pentagon said they had planned on announcing the being Nadine to the world in July 2007 had the Boy Scouts not stumbled onto the project in the darkness. He was at a loss to explain how the Boy Scouts had accidentally subverted the security at the base. (See follow up story on page 9.)
This would have been my entry in the biggest liars contest had I not missed the deadline.
