Female Elf Applications

[savant365]

Before changing your user names for christmas this year please fill out the following:


National Federation of Uniformed Elves
Main Office, North Pole
Female Elf Employment Application

1. Name ________________

2. Present Address ____________________

3. Age ___ (If under 100, parental permission is required)

4. Height ______ (If over 3 feet 6 inches, please attach waiver
application)

5. Present Occupation ____________ (If politician, forget it!)

6. Hobbies ______________________________
(If boys, boys, boys, do you like "little, little" boys?)

7. Professional Qualifications ______________________________
(Can you cook, sew, clean and other things male chauvinist
elves get off on?)

8. References ______________________________
(No religious references please. They tend to lead us astray.)

9. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for molesting a
reindeer?
Yes ( ) No ( ) (if yes, you need not apply!)

10. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for molesting little
elves?
Yes ( ) No ( ) (If yes, when can you start?)