Dear group;
Always having had a rather poetic nature about me, I decided that instead of merely throwing away one's past from the window of a moving auto or off of a pier, or bridge, I would do something more symbolic of my past. I therefore hit upon the novel idea of flushing it down the toilet. With a few well placed tears coursing down my cheeks, I dropped the plain golden band into the water, observing a tiny uprushing jet as it hit and sank to the bottom. I tearfully bade my goodbyes and with a flourish, hit the lever.
Whoooooooooooshhhhhh! The water came rushing into the bowl, all a-torrent swirling round and round until at last, it picked up my wayward band as would the hand of God and sent it to it's journey downwards to the river Styx of sewage and other bodily wastes.
Imagine my utter suprise, when instead of receding, the cleansing waters of revival started to rise and fill the poreclain vessel with an uprising torrent. My cup quickly runneth over and with a final splash upon my new shoes, all suddenly become and deathly quiet, like a seething cesspool of death and destruction.
I immediately rang the plumber, whom after a thorough examination of the facility, used various arcane instruments to alleviate the vast pool which had accumulated in my bowl. Cheerfully, he held up the offending blackage and lo and behold, there was my wedding band, looking mush like a talisman of pain and sorrow.
He handed it back to me and with a sly grin, wrote me out a receipt for $150.00 US dollars. It was at that point that I decided to hang to onto the old battleaxe, for no more reason than try and extract $150.00 worth of painless and suffering from her worthless hide.
Your friend;
LAMAR
P.S. If it didn't happen just the way I described it, it should have.