Humor for Lexophiles

River Rat

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HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)


I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in linoleum blownapart.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Acupuncture: a jab well done
 

:D :D

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
his work.
 

now thats punny
 

I can row a boat, canoe?
Tastes like cake, donut?
 

don't you think it's ironic that a person can choke to death on a "lifesaver"?
 

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