JUST HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL

[stefen]

I recently contracted pneumonia and landed in the hospital.

There was this one nurse that just drove me crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice,"And how are we doing this morning?"

Or.... "Are we ready for a bath?"

Or... "Are we hungry?"

I had enough of this particular nurse. One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside stand. Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing.

So you know where the juice went!

The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said, "My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today."

Instantly, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and gulped it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!"

The nurse fainted... I just smiled!

 

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[bill from lachine]

stefen,

Glad to see you still have your sense of humor and hopefully you are on the mend.

Regards + HH

Bill

 

[Anduril]

Next time she asks "are we ready for a bath", reply:

"Depends. Did you bring your friend?"
Reasonable possibility of that shutting her up. Maybe?

Hope you're feeling much better. Hospitals are no fun.

 

[stefen]

I think the Head Nurse treasure hunts on her off-time...wears knee pads

 

[Oregon Viking]

Shame on you!!

 

[stefen]

Ah's just havin sum fun....

 

[Duckshot]

Last time I had to stay in the H, I left quarter under back behind the room's toilet. I figure if the janitor finds it they earned it. Or, next time I get the same room I can see if they cleaned.

 

[pepperj]

Too Stefen would of liked to see the look on her face when you did that one.

Figured it out early that nurses were running the show, so it was case of biting the bullet and keeping it in check. This meant treating them well no matter how they rubbed me wrong as they were the ones that could take the pain away and make the recovery easier. That comes from being under the knife a couple dozen times and having a few stays on top of that for other reasons, one being a double pneumonia which resulted in 35 day stay once.

 

[mrwilburino]

This is how an experienced nurse would have dealt with a cute prank like that:

"0815- Patient exhibiting bizarre, delusional behavior. Observed drinking own urine from specimen cup. Believes it was apple juice. Resident on call notified for assessment. Patient determined danger to self. Pink-slipped to psych unit. Upon transfer patient became combative; shouting, cursing, spitting, threatening staff, threatening to sue hospital. Code violet called requiring hands-on intervention by security. Transfer to psych completed. Patient moved to seclusion room and placed in four point leather restraints. Medicated with 2mg Ativan and 10mg Haldol IM in right buttock, and 50mg Benadryl IM in left buttock. Patient remains hostile and delusional at this time. Still perseverating about apple juice. Will continue to monitor."

 

[ARC]

Should have said... "that's not cloudy"...

Its over cast. :P

 

[Oregon Viking]

This is how an experienced nurse would have dealt with a cute prank like that:

"0815- Patient exhibiting bizarre, delusional behavior. Observed drinking own urine from specimen cup. Believes it was apple juice. Resident on call notified for assessment. Patient determined danger to self. Pink-slipped to psych unit. Upon transfer patient became combative; shouting, cursing, spitting, threatening staff, threatening to sue hospital. Code violet called requiring hands-on intervention by security. Transfer to psych completed. Patient moved to seclusion room and placed in four point leather restraints. Medicated with 2mg Ativan and 10mg Haldol IM in right buttock, and 50mg Benadryl IM in left buttock. Patient remains hostile and delusional at this time. Still perseverating about apple juice. Will continue to monitor."

Four point leather restraints? Ativan, Haldol...AND Benadryl?
I think I know that nurse!!

 

[stefen]

Think she's the Ohio State linebacker with the dreds...Yeah, the one always adjusting her cup on camera...

Can hear her brass ones clanging following a block...

 

[aa battery]

dude your sick. isnt it all fun?

 

[stefen]

Welcome back to the world of reality...

How ya doing my friend?

When will ya be out and about?

 

[Mifarmer]

That's great! I so am going to do that next time I have a physical for work.
Kyle-