My Ex Wifes cache. A tale of two kitties.

[ericwt]

My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

I do not know if my joke is right to post here. I find the whole thing hilarious, but I am the one that that is playing the joke.

It is called My Ex Wife's cache. Some of you that are nice people might want to view another thread.

However if you have experienced the pain of a nasty divorce, you will no doubt get a good chuckle about the four day joke I am playing on my ex wife.

Ironic and Justified punchline at the end.

There is no vulgar language .

Would it be okay if I start do post it?

Does anyone want to hear it?

ericwt

 

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[buscadero]

Re: Open question to Comedy Central Mod's and posters

Come On, Eric, Down & Dirty!! I thrive on Payback Stories!!








Joe

 

[Jeffro]

Re: Open question to Comedy Central Mod's and posters

I'm thinkin a big can of worms here, BUT..... what the heck, shoot.

 

[ericwt]

My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

The Setup:

Once upon a time there was a tom cat named eric. He was a lost cat. One day he came upon a wounded and helpless Kitty that had been thrown out of her home. eric knew the girl cat would die if she was left alone. So he dedicated himself to rescuing her.

They married later and traveled the world and lived happily ever after....NOT.

Years later after the traveling and buying the latest and the best and having adventure was not good enough for her.

She was a sneaky cat and did mean things to the tom cat. After that she clawed out his heart and left him to die.

eric was a tough cat though. Then one day he got up and realized that his ex wife had left wads of cash somewhere in the things she left with him. She was not ever aware of the large wad of cash that she had left in the house.

So eric cat decided to go on a treasure hunt for the large stashes of cash that were in the house,that the ex had no idea of.

Something told eric cat that some of the cash was in the garage, as he had moved most of the stuff she did not want into the garage.

"O dear" said eric cat as he looked at the many boxes of collectables and electronic gadgets." Where in the heck am I going to search for the cash in all of this stuff. There is so much here,where do I start?", he pondered.

He remembered when prospecting for gold you have to get down to the bedrock to find the pay dirt.

"Well, I guess I need to get rid of this overburden." he said. As he could not see the bedrock of the garage floor from the overflowing boxes.

This perplexed the little cat. I think I will play and get some rest. Maybey I will think of something tomorrow..."

He knew there was a large wad of cache somewhere in the garage. But the little cat needed to play and rest, because that is what cats do.

Continued over the next few days.....

ericwt

 

[EDDE]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

oh man your killing me..........

 

[Jeffro]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

Once upon a time there was a tom cat named eric. He was a lost cat. One day he came upon a wounded and helpless Kitty that had been thrown out of her home. eric knew the girl cat would die if she was left alone. So he dedicated himself to rescuing her.

First mistake right here, LOL! Walked right into this one a time or two myself, well OK maybe three, but thats it, OK? :P

 

[ericwt]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

The Setup continues....

So eric cat played and played. He was so tired but he could not sleep. He kept thinking about the joke he was going to play on his ex Saturday evening. He laughed and purred and laughed and purred into the wee hours of the morning.

Finally he giggled himself to sleep,for all good cats need their rest. He dreamed of his ex'es reaction to the joke. Her anger at the fact that she had left a large wad of cash in the house made the little cat purr again.

After the eric cat got some rest he stretched at yawned. He went through his house and looked around. He realized the house was no longer a home. It was more of a prison of lost hopes and dreams.

The little cat wandered into the garage and gazed at the mass of overburden that was hiding the wad of cash. It was a little overwhelming for a little cat.

How could the little cat get down to the pay dirt of the garage floor? The idea of hauling all that overburden away was overwhelming. Little cats don't like that much work,as work is not very playfull.

The little cat remembered a story about a human boy that had to do some work. His name was Tom Sawyer and he had to paint a fence. Tom did not like work either, but he was a creative human and came up with a plan to have others do his work.

The little eric cat knew there must be a way to get all this overburden of painfull memories out of the way, so he could find his ex wife's large wad of cash. Then he could play his funny joke on his deserving ex wife.

Overwhelmed and frustrated that he could not play in the garage because of all the boxes of electronics and rare collectables, the little eric cat had to eat something, for little cats cannot think so good on a empty stomach.

He would therefore eat and play for a while and maybe a good idea would come to him.

Continued......

ericwt

 

[EDDE]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

 

[stud564]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

lol

 

[ericwt]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

Sill The Setup already... Showtime is Friday Morning. Joke will launch in my ex wife's face Saturday afternoon.

The little eric cat played and played and ate some more food. Then he decided to go to the garage and think.

"My o my" said the little eric cat. "How will I get others to help me get down to the paydirt of the garage floor?", he pondered. He just knew his ex wife's wad of cash was down there somewhere. He thought it funny that his ex wife had no idea the large wad of cash was there. He chuckled a little kitty laugh.

"Humm", thought the little eric cat."There must be a way for him to get others to help him for free."No wait, there has got to be a way for them to pay me to help me out", he thought.

"Well gosh darn,I better find out what is in all these boxes of overburden", he said. Then the little eric cat made a game of seeing what was in all those boxes, for cats are very curious creatures, you know.

He had some fun going through all the boxes of stuff and separating the items from the packing material. He could not believe all the stuff that there was. Then he remembered he paid for all of this stuff and she did not even take it with her, even though she had ample opportunity. The little eric cat wished she would have , so he wouldn't have to bother with it. But she had packed everything she wanted (Including some of eric cat's stuff) and sent him a nasty email saying she had no intention of coming for any more stuff and that eric cat could keep it.

The little eric cat did not want any of the silly items she bought with his money. It was painful for him to look at some of this stuff because there were many memories and gifts there.

Then the little eric cat found the Wedding Invitations they used so many years ago. This kind of upset the little eric cat because he meant it when he said the wedding vows. He was willing to work through the hard things that come with a relationship,she was not.

Then the little eric cat remembered the joke that he was planning to play on his ex wife on Saturday afternoon. It took a few weeks to plan. She will be furious and irate over her lost wad of cash.

She did not know of the Legend of my ex wife's Cache. But she will be steamed about her lost wad of money for years to come.

The little eric cat snickered and meowed a happy little song. One more day until showtime. There was a lot to do but the little cat needed to play a little. Because thats what little cats do.

Continued....

ericwt

 

[arkhunter]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

don't stop....we're waiting

 

[Mighty AP]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

You go Eric Cat! I hope this goes off exactly as you want it to, cause I need a good laugh & it sounds like she needs a kick in the head! I just wish you lived close by, cause AP cat would love to help you get down to bedrock in your garage! Good luck!

 

[EDDE]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

 

[ericwt]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

The plan comes together for the little eric cat. He was happy exploring the boxes and arranging the many items. Strange things started to happen. First of all his Penney collection grew. The little cat liked pennies they shine.

As he was sorting and arranging thing in a neat way, words would pop into his little cat head. Words like 25 cents,50 cents, one dollar, two dollar as he was tossing the items into boxes. He would see amounts of money for each item and put them in a certain box. The pile of boxes grew.

Then he found neater stuff and decided to display it on tables.

If people were going to pay the little eric cat to take his stuff, the little cat wanted it to look nice.

For that was the idea. A week earlier the little cat had given the nice newspaper lady a ten dollar bill so she would tell others to come pay me to take my stuff.

The ad said something to the effect of:

Pay me to take my stuff!

at eric cats house 7:00 am Friday and Saturday

That was not the exact words but to that effect.

Yes the little cat figured out how to have people pay you to take your stuff.

The joke is going to be on the ex wife cat on Saturday. The little eric cat had it all planned out.

So he left the garage and decided to go to sleep. Because if little cats don't get their sleep they get kitty cranky. Cause thats how little cats are.


Next post.... Acquiring necessary props for the joke.

ericwt

 

[ericwt]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

Acquiring the props:

The little eric cat was annoyed at 4:00 am when his cell phone alarm sounded off. Regardless after a hour of drinking coffee things did not looks so bad.

He put out signs saying "Give me money to take my stuff" all over the neighborhood. At 7:00 am he opened the garage door and there were people waiting to give him money to take his stuff.

The humans were nice and when they picked up his stuff they did give him money. After a day and a half the eric cat got tired of the people and decided to ponder a better way.

As he was pondering this he looked in the garage and saw the floor of the garage in some places and then he realized he had found some of his ex wife's money wads. In his little paws was over $387. He was happy about this and emailed his wife with a photo thanking her for the wad of cash in the garage.

This made him happy because she would think she left it behind. The truth of the matter is the Legend of my ex wife's cash is a legend it had no basis in fact, like so many treasure stories.

Then he decided he would make ex wife grab bags and put them on ebay. That was he would not have to deal with getting up at 4:00am.

Then he would send more photos to his ex wife thanking her for the wads of cash.

"Life can be fun" thought the eric cat as he pondered ex wife grab bags on ebay. Then he went out to play, because that is what little cats do..

ericwt

 

[Mighty AP]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

Hey Eric cat, give us links to your Ebay grab bags so we can bid on em too!

 

[buscadero]

Re: My Ex Wife's cache. A tale of two kitties.

AH! There's nothing like a Devious Story to get the ole heart beating! I'll tell you one thing, You are one heck of a writer! Relating
the Payback thru the eyes of a cat was sheer genius! I commend you! "Paybacks are a Bitck!"


JOE