OK, I'll start! Now hold onto yor britches cause this'll really boggle yor minds!
We've got this cat, see. And this cat has always been an outdoor cat. Was abandoned as a newborn by its mama. Wife decided to safe the poor thing. (I'll NEVER let her live that down!) So this cat has always been an outdoor cat. Never would use a litter box. Chases everything away that comes near; other cats, skunks (PUGH!), raccoons, groundhogs, other cats, dogs, cattle, and yes, even the FedEx driver!!
Well, now the cat is some 13 or 14 years old and has slowed down quite a bit. If you knew where we lived, you'd know that it's just not practical that a small housecat could survive outside all these years; hardly any neighbors for miles and wildlife all around....bear, coyote, wolf, eagles, wild dogs (abandoned...and even they don't last long!), and even the few neighbors, who seem to like to shoot everything they see. So it's sort of a small miracle the cat has lasted this long.
OK, now for the really weird part. This cat has ticked me off so bad over the years that I've actually gone out with the .22 and tried to KILL her! Wife seems to think I've missed on purpose, but I haven't. But in her old age, she now gets to come inside if temps are gonna get down to -15 or below. Great! Now I've got this stupid thing taking over the Living Room, with this PC in the same room. ...I swear (and I'm not making this up!), this cat is DEAD, but just don't know it yet!!
Get it? The walking dead. Hey, don't knock it. It was -26F this morning, plus it's a TRUE story! ......Geez, just can't please some crowds.
