Phony Phone calls

[spartacus53]

I don't care how old I get, the kid in me will never leave. Although I haven't made one in a while, I did love to make phony phones calls. Mine were not like calling a restaurant and see if they had frogs and ask how do you get their pants on?

1- To Maersk Lines, one of the largest Steamship companies in the world and I did work for them.
There was an article about 2-3 years ago regarding a container with about 20 stowaways from China. The article was interesting because it told in detail how the Chinese planned their voyage. They built an air filtration system and air conditioner and the tail end had a fake front of freight. I just called over to Maersk and asked their rates on 40' containers from Shanghai to Los Angeles, CA. They asked me the commodity, I replied stowaways, then I heard a CLICK

2-When I left my job at U.S. Lines I still had many friends there, so I decided to call and speak the the girl that took my rate job. I disguised my voice an made the call, just to have a little fun. I called her up and asked for a rate on horses from NY to Felixstowe, England. She was trying to tell me they didn't carry livestock. I reminded her, that there is a tariff and a rate for the commodity, and that I knew I was also responsible to have someone travel with the horses to feed them, clean, etc. Then I went on to tell her that I already have the container and loaded the horse so they could get used to their new short term home. I also asked if it was OK to punch holes in the container so the horse could look out. Poor girl didn't know if she was coming or going at this point, and tried to explain that I couldn't damage the containers in that fashion. I tried to explain that if the horse didn't see where they were going they would just try and kick out the container walls. I kept her on for another minute and then told her I'll have to call you back, London is on the other phone and they want to the the status of their horses.

3- Every April 1st, this was always one I would stick to someone. I would just write down a message to the mark, call Mr Lyons and give the number. That number was always to The Bronx Zoo. I guess over the years they had tons of those calls because one time the guy said, Hey lady, we have plenty of lions, this is The Bronx Zoo.

Phones are fun

 

[ivan salis]

--- call a country club ask is mrhoff there ? --he needs to be paged right away its very important -- his first name is robert but he answers to "jack"

 

[RGINN]

I call work all the time and ask for various products. A couple of the best were the Chocolate Mocha flavored Ex-Lax and horse laxative. I'll give them credit, they did actually make the effort to look for those two, and told me I might check with WalGreens.

 

[ivan salis]

ever get annoying telemarketers ? answer the phone like this -- if a male -- you ain't fooling me billie bob with the phony phone salesman bit cuz I know you and her been messing round behind my back --use a loud cap gun held by phone --bang bang bang -- now come get her shes all yers .

or if its a gal -- your not fooling me any --I know you and suzy are gay lovers , and she plans to take everything I got and the kids and leave me -- bang bang bang --now ya'll can 't be together

of course if the cops call or show up=== you go --I know nothing --she must of had a diifferant number , everything here is fine , officer.

 

[Woodland Detectors]

Oh Brother!

When I was a kid I could make this insanely hilarious smurf voice.
I would call the local pizza joints using the voice eventually cracking my own self up along with the person taking the order.

I still do it once in a while and it freaks my wife out.

She's like, " what the ,@@@!?

 

[spartacus53]

As far as telemarketers go, here is how I handle them without the possibility of trouble.

Male: I just say my roast in in the oven Please hold on and walk away.

Female: 1- Breathe heavily and say, "Hi there, what are you wearing"?
2- Just say you are sitting in your underwear only, and describe them (again breathe heavily)

It's worked for me.

 

[Mighty AP]

One of the best pranks on a telemarketer!!! Thank you for posting that!

 

[spartacus53]

Tom Mabe is very funny. I also loved the Jerky Boys and it is too hard to find a routine without some cursing. But I this interview from CBS. The funniest character is Frank Rizzo, every other line is a classic. They also made a movie in the late 80's or early 90's

Also if you watch the "Family Guy" the voice of the druggist is Johnny Bench aka Frank Rizzo & Sol Rosenburg