They Walk Among Us!

Gypsy Heart

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"Accept contradictions with good humor." Mother Theresa JS

They Walk Among Us!

Some guy ( we will call him ...hmmm...Jeffro) bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old Fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign
on it saying:
"Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the Fridge
sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He Eventually
decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good
to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The
next day someone stole it.
Caution... They Walk Among Us!
====================
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent Which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the Sun waking
him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in The north?" When
my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for
sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I Don't keep up with that
stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!
====================
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got
a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center Was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a Day, 7 days a
week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific Time?" Wanting to end
the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific"
They Walk Among Us!!!
====================
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
Overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the Sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down In a
convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the Car was
moving". .
They Walk Among Us!!!!
====================
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut trough a
seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the Trunk...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!
===================
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
Discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The Cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!
====================
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
Attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the Chain
rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose
and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which Way the head is
turned...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!
===================
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went To the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags Never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she Was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she Asked me, "has your
plane arrived yet?"...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!
====================
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small Pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he Would like it
cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some Time before
responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces.
Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
====================
They walk among us, AND reproduce!!!!!!
 

I have personally done #1- it works! ;D
 

My friend Matt uses the Pizza one all the time. He usually gets a smile, but he has gotten the occasional "Oh, OK, we can cut it in 4..."
 

very good Gypsy....
 

How about walking into a pizza joint when your too drunk to drive and ordering a pizza for delivery? Then catch a ride home with the delivery guy? Thank Sam Kenison for this one, and I think they made a commercial out of it.... LOL!
 

As for the fridge, it happened to us! We had an older fridge that had cosmetic problems in the interior. We bought a new side-by-side and set the old fridge by the road with a sign that read: "works fine, free to good home!" in my case it sat there for two weeks before we decided it just didn't get seen enough on my street. We placed an ad in the paper planning to sell it for the cost of the ad. The second night after the ad came out, someone stole the fridge! :o
 

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
Attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the Chain
rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose
and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which Way the head is
turned...
HAHAHAHAHA.......Gypsy,I read this the other day and somehow missed this part...hahaha.....lmao...never really thought about my nose moving away from my ear............
 

I just saw the edit, LOL! Thanks alot Gypsy ;)
 

Good stuff Gypsy: #1 reminds me of a friend who lived in NY city at a point when trash removal became very expensive. He would gift wrap large packages of trash, leave it in his unlocked car... disappeared every time!
 

I really did work in a pizzeria, and I once had a lady ask me:

"what's the difference between the hot wings and the bbq wings?"

After thinking about it for a second I said: "Well ma'am, the hot wings are hot and the bbq wings are bbq"

After contemplating this for a second she said: "Wow that sounds good"

NO JOKE!! THEY LIVE AMONG US!!!!
 

When I was a kid, I worked in a pizza take away shop.
A guy comes and orders a pizza.
Shall I slice it in 8 portions? I ask.
No, in 4, I can't eat 8 pieces....he replies

Sure they walk among us, unfortunately they reproduce.
Digman.
 

In my younger days I worked at a truck stop. State Health Inspectors came in to see how we disposed of our paper,waste,grease,etc.
I had four cartons of styromfoam take-out containers and the guy ,holding his little clip board...said" And these ,how do you dispose of these?"
???
I answered" Well...most of the time we send them home with the customer". :)
Without batting an eye he replied, "And then? What do they do with them?"
.....Here's your sign...... :D
 

gypsyheart said:
====================
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small Pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he Would like it
cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some Time before
responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces.
Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
====================
They walk among us, AND reproduce!!!!!!

Digman said:
When I was a kid, I worked in a pizza take away shop.
A guy comes and orders a pizza.
Shall I slice it in 8 portions? I ask.
No, in 4, I can't eat 8 pieces....he replies

Sure they walk among us, unfortunately they reproduce.
Digman.

lol, yep that pretty much proves it. (no offense)
 

Every year I have a huge garage sale...There is one antique dealer who drives me insane...always wanting a better deal..dickers on everything...I had three bowls marked...10.00,12.00 and 8.00........He had been trying to bargain all morning and everything he brought up he was just snotty about and I kept saying no...then he grabbed the three bowls and said "I cant go higher than 30.00 on these!" .......hmmmm....let me think about that one...8,12,10 =30
Sold! He walked out thinking that he finally got a deal from me!
 

My Granddad was a jokester with a very wry sense of humor. After he retired from the electric company he opened up a corner fruit and vegetable market in the warm months. If a perishible item was slow moving he would put a sign up saying something like, "Tomatoes 30 cents each or 3 for a dollar." You'd be surprised how many people would go for three for a dollar! When they got out of sight he'd laugh until he had tears running down his face. he kept me in stitches all the time . Maybe that's where I get my sense of humor? Monty
 

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