Think before you speak...

[Michelle]

>
> > Here are six reasons why you should think before you
> speak -
>
> > The last one is great!
>
> > Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
>
> > Immediately take the words back...
>
> > Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
>
> >
>
> > FIRST TESTIMONY:
>
> > I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
> kids in tow and
>
> asked
>
> > loudly,
>
> > 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
> job?'
>
> > I turned around and walked back out and never went
> back.
>
> > My husband didn't say a word...
>
> > He knew better.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> > SECOND TESTIMONY:
>
> > I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of
> golf balls.
>
> > I was unhappy with the women's type I had been
> using. After browsing
>
> for
>
> > several minutes,
>
> > I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
>
> > Who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
>
> > Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
>
> > 'I think I like playing with men's balls.'
>
> >
>
> >
>
> > THIRD TESTIMONY:
>
> > My sister and I were at the mall and
>
> > Passed by a store that sold a
>
> > Variety of candy and nuts.
>
> > As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind
> the counter asked
>
> if
>
> > we needed any help.
>
> > I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your
> nuts.' My sister
>
> started to laugh
>
> > hysterically The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red
> and walked away.
>
> > To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> > FOURTH TESTIMONY :
>
> > Have you ever asked your child a question too many
> times?
>
> > My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty
> training
>
> > And I was on him constantly.
>
> > One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
>
> > In between errands
>
> > It was very busy, with a full dining room.
>
> > While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
>
> > So of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
>
> > And she was clean.
>
> > Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty
> in a while.
>
> > I asked him if he needed to go, and he said
> 'No'.
>
> > I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an
> accident,
>
> > And I don't have any clean clothes with me.'
>
> > Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't
> have an
>
> accident?'
>
> > 'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,

Because the smell was getting worse.
So, I asked one more time,
>
'Danny, did you have an accident?'
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
Bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, laughing,

He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.

An older couple made me feel better,

Thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!



LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days

And a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,

In the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow, but don't get
any?

We had a female news anchor who,
The day after it was supposed to have snowed and
didn't,
Turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
But half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh,
And remember...

We all say things we don't really mean, So think before you speak

 

[Goodyguy]

I work in an upscale billiard store.
And I cant tell you how many times I have been asked by both men and women
"How do you clean your balls?"
Well sometimes it's very hard to answer with a straight face.

One time I was asked by a gentleman who really got offended at my answer of..
"Gently with soap and water while I'm taking a shower"

Nearly lost my job on that one. He could not take a joke.

 

[Michelle]