When thrift stores and yard sales really don't matter

[Beachkid23]

I've been an addicted for the last five years. Hitting several yard sales, thrift stores daily, consignment shops weekly. This is my college degree. This is what I have to go on... Finding awesome stuff. Mind blowing items but in the realm of things it doesn't matter, i'm 36 years old. Never had my own child but I've adopted three. My oldest who I thought was into what I am doing shows no interest, she's turning 11 now. Ya'll , I'm a dad that loves what i do but my child has no interest, how do I connect? Honest to God I'm not looking for any crap, but more advice from you dads out there with daughters. I don't want to lose her to the garbage of this world. Lots of love, thanks... - Justin

 

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[Beachkid23]

A little more background, a friend called me with a lead on a house that is having a yard sale tomorrow starting at 10. He said to go there at 8:am because she would let me in early. Lots of jewelry and lots of gold. I'll go likely. But to be honest it's 2 AM... we had family math night at my kids school. My son was like dad come with me, my daughter was like stay away I don't want to be seen with you! Is this normal of growing up? I watched G.I. Joe on TV. Forgot about it for a while.... Now the lights are off and I'm trying to hold it together but my Mind is running...

 

[fish1on]

Kids of all ages and adults often need their "own" space to figure things out for themselves its all part of life. When my son wanted "his" time I gave it to him even though I felt I needed to be right there. My best advice (worked for me at least) is to be there when they need you and they will and to let them know they are loved. One more thing is to never stop the lines of communication, stay available for them at all costs.

 

[dts52]

There is a famous quote, attributed to Mark Twain that goes something like this: When I was a boy of 14, I was convinced that my father was an idiot. I was amazed at how much smarter he had become when I was 21.
Hang in there, whatever is meant to be will be. My best advice is to be a parent to your child first, be their friend second. Good luck.
HH
dts

 

[Drmad7]

As a father of a 15 year old boy and 13 year old...what ^ they said. My kids are RARELY interested in hunting for treasure or making money from the sale of that treasure. And when they don't want me or there mother around or say we are embarrassing them, we joke with them anyway. Sometimes. And sometimes we just leave them alone. They are going through that "I am almost a teenager/adult" phase and will say things that you can't take to heart. Mine get on my nerves sometimes but then my wife and I have to stand back and admit, they are pretty good kids! Hang in there! Just the other day, my daughter asked if she could go through my junk jewelry for a ring to wear. There's hope!

 

[captain flintlock]

Kids of all ages and adults often need their "own" space to figure things out for themselves its all part of life. When my son wanted "his" time I gave it to him even though I felt I needed to be right there. My best advice (worked for me at least) is to be there when they need you and they will and to let them know they are loved. One more thing is to never stop the lines of communication, stay available for them at all costs.

I totally agree and if I may, will add to this. First BK, you have the most important part of parenthood conquered. You care!!! And it obviously shows so thumbs up to you. A lot of parents just don't give a hoot and that's a shame. Here's my one bit of advice. At this age and stage in life,( your kids), it's probably more important that you show interest in what they are doing or interested in rather than the opposite. Give them their space and let them be them. Having two kids of my own, it's pretty common reactions that you're seeing.

 

[JimDon]

I have a solution that works for me. I make some decent money doing what I do on eBay and it goes into a slush fund for me. I am very fortunate that I do not need it to pay bills . I use the money to travel with my family, which consists of a 14 yo daughter and my wife. They see the rewards of my efforts so they support me. We are going on our second trip to Europe this year just from what I've earned on eBay.

 

[kingskid1611]

I have 3 boys and none of them want to do the things I do but as they have gotten older Dad isn't as bad as they thought when they were teenagers. They have all hit that age when they were embarrassed of me, why I don't know, but love them and realize they will have to make it themselves and they will come back around to you. I love my kids and tell them at every opportunity it wasn't until recently my oldest started to tell me he loved me again. He thinks I'm "cool" again.......

 

[diggingthe1]

I've been giving my boys things to sell on eBay and let them list them and keep the profits. They are saving for a trip to Disney. It is hard to be ,"cool" but I tell them I love them every chance I get and then some! My 13 year old doesn't go with me unless he might find something profitable( metal detecting or bottle digging). My 9 year old loves going out with me even though I usually don't find anything. I hope to have hunting partners when they are teenagers but they will be who they will be. They do love hunting arrowheads but it's hard not to. I have an antique store and am always going to sales. I've burned them out, but they do look for games and except that it's part of our lives. I wish your family many days of treasure hunting, mine too. It would sure be fun to teach them what to look for when they are young! Florida must be paridise at the yard sales

 

[2Minnesota]

Sounds like your daughter is just being a normal pre-teen kid. My kids went through the same thing. Didn't want mom around when they were in certain scenarios (school etc). It can feel terrible as a parent but it's normal. You obviously love your kids a lot so make sure you tell them that every day. Offer help but don't push it if they don't want it, just be available if they do. My older son (almost 17) and I can have an argument and he can be so upset and I still say "good night, I love you" before I go to bed. Most of the time he says it back but sometimes he is silent. As someone already said, parent first, friend when they are grown. Also, my older son will stop at GS with me, my younger (almost15) will absolutely not. He stays in the car if I do stop and I try not to stop at many when he is with. Lol. Kids are funny. I was the same way as your daughter and my parents and I are very close now. It'll work out!

 

[WhiteTornado]

With daughters in particular, I always like one piece of advice I read long ago: As a father, always love your daughter because if she doesn't get love from you, she will seek it elsewhere.

BeachKid, thanks for sharing all of your finds and more importantly, your knowledge. I mostly do metal detecting, not much thrift store/yard sale shopping. But even I have learned a few things from you in terms of what to look for, certain markings, etc. Keep on keepin' on

 

[Beachkid23]

Thank you everyone for your input. And your comments, it really does help a lot and it's a lot easier hearing it from other people that I've gone through it as well! I was a little upset by it last night as you can probably tell by reading my post. But I do really appreciate it from everyone thank you, Justin.

 

[Rodbuster209]

Beachkid, what you are describing sounds normal, the main thing is to be there to help guide them in making the right decisions, and pay attention to who they are hanging out with and what they are up to. Good Luck!

 

[Beachkid23]

Man it was a rough weekend. I have to keep reading through these posts over and over and over to know that this is normal. Because some days I just don't know! For example my wife was sick so we had to go to church this weekend. I tell my kids at nine to get ready, well one out of three gets ready. Meaning she change her clothes, the oldest. I had to remind her that she needed to shower and repeated to wash her face and do her hair. All she heard was computer. Time to leave and this child looks like she slept in the woods. I asked her why are you not doing your hair and taking a shower? She replied back dad I don't care what people think of me.. Good, but good lord child... You need to look like you just got out the bed!!! Which turned into us completely missing the one service because she went in her room and cried for 40 minutes! I'm not sure I can handle this! (I'm certain that all this is for the hell I put my parents through!)

 

[Drmad7]

Payback like you said. Most of us remember ourselves as little angels and don't recall being the same way as "kids today".

 

[tomsright]

I have 2 daughters both are in college now. I had both of them in sports This kept them busy. They played softball basketball volleyball and were cheerleaders. So I coached softball ,kept books for basketball, line judged volleyball and the chains for football when they cheered. We fished ,camped , shot guns. They found things they liked and I found a way to be part of it. When they needed there space to grow they got it Just be there for them . Don't sweat the little stuff

 

[dejapooh]

When they stop showing interest in what you do, you need to start to show interest in what they do. Eventually, they won't even want you to do that. Mine is 16, and is unwilling to have me involved in her stuff. I understand that they come back to you once they are in college or after... I sure hope so.

 

[dejapooh]

A little more background, a friend called me with a lead on a house that is having a yard sale tomorrow starting at 10. He said to go there at 8:am because she would let me in early. Lots of jewelry and lots of gold. I'll go likely. But to be honest it's 2 AM... we had family math night at my kids school. My son was like dad come with me, my daughter was like stay away I don't want to be seen with you! Is this normal of growing up? I watched G.I. Joe on TV. Forgot about it for a while.... Now the lights are off and I'm trying to hold it together but my Mind is running...

VERY VERY normal. WAY too normal. She'll come back...

 

[huntsman53]

While kids have long had problems with school, with friends, with non-friends, bullies, self respect/image/worth, it is much more difficult for many of them nowadays due to the social media outlets such as Twitter, Facebook and more. You need to be there for them when they need you and let them know that. Encourage them and never discourage them, praise them and never berate them. Let them know that you are their' parent, that there are limits as well as consequences for exceeding those limits and at the same time, that there are benefits for trying or doing their best and being their best. As a father and grandfather with three grown daughters and five grandchildren, I can and will say with conviction to do your best by them. That they came with no Instructional Manual and although there are some good books out there on parenting, there are many...many more that were written by egotists that don't have a clue as to how to parent a child and quite a few of these same egotists do not have children.


Frank