Girlfriend v1 Update (MicroSoft Software GF-V1+)

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stefen

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I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of Drinking Buddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies runs fine as long as GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. Unfortunately, I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. Therefore, I have to run both of them separately. GirlFriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility. On a positive note, DrinkingBuddies and Golf seem to have no incompatibilities whatsoever. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0.

After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, and realized that no one in their right mind is installing new Token Rings, Girlfriend 2.0 uninstalled itself. Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. Unfortunately, there was a bug in the program and the first time I used it, it gave me a virus. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.

I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way. This results in the immediate removal of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is "object-oriented."

A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space...he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came supposedly came bundled with a feature called FreeSexPlus.

Well, it turns out the resource requirements of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus...particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off. I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before uninstalling itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install because of insufficient resources.
 

Gypsy Heart

Gold Member
Nov 29, 2005
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You knew you were going to get it ........

There are a lot of pressures to upgrade from Boyfriend 6.0 to Husband 1.0. However before doing so make sure you understand the implications of this change...

For one, system activity will be severely limited and you will be compelled to instigate rigorous daily routines in space management, garbage disposal and disk cleaning often with an accompanying increase in system administration.

This program can also be a drain on many resources and demand constant attention. You will encounter an increased amount of interrupts and error messages, while the program often cancels processes without warning, very often crashing the system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 often refuses to respond to your commands and frequently appears to be running processes which you have not authorized. If this happens a lot, do not respond to any interactive requests from the program and severely limit demand for extra bytes.

Every evening there will be a huge surge in demand for megabytes and if not satisfied, the process will become unresponsive and has been known on occasion to damage hardware.

Every so often you will be promised a new release of the program, but unfortunately, upon loading this new release, it is generally found to be almost identical to the old one, with very few feature changes and most of the same old annoying bugs which you were undoubtedly promised would not be there in the new release. Put up with it or discontinue use entirely.

Husband 1.0 is a flawed program; many of the bugs are so deeply encoded that, even if they can be located, they are impossible to eradicate and have to be tolerated.

Husband 1.0 will frequently make use of low level language and may not understand higher level commands so you must be prepared to use basic functions when required. Often a few robust algorithms in handshaking mode will produce a good response.

After a while, Husband 1.0 has a tendency to take up more space than originally allocated, often spreading in size and slowing down correspondingly. If this happens, be very careful as there is increased risk of complete system failure.

Around this time, Husband 1.0 will also tend to lose bits from the top of the stack, although these will often multiply and be found lower down the stack.

Another problem with this program is that Husband 1.0 can also spawn unknown child processes, which can sometimes inadvertently appear, make huge demands on the program and force unwanted interaction with old versions of One.nightstand.

Sometimes, Husband 1.0 will end a process prematurely, before you have the required result. This generally results in spawned processes scattered over your system which must be located and removed. More often than not, however, Husband 1.0 will appear to take an inordinately long time to complete a relatively simple process. While waiting for tedious processes to complete you may find it useful to distract yourself by perusing manuals for alternative programs, Stud 2.0 or Lover 6.9.

On completion of a process, Husband 1.0 will often inadvertently apply the sleep command, or suspend system activity with a Ctrl ZZ. There is nothing you can do in this case, but leave the program and try again later.

Ultimately, as the program becomes older, it will become more difficult to produce hardcopy, and you will find that most of you work ends up on floppies. In addition, you will be needing software support more often than you'd like.

If and when this happens, try to find a copy of Toyboy 1.1. Make sure you have used Ctrl ZZ on Husband 1.0 before loading Toyboy 1.1 and, of course, check for viruses before using any new program. Toyboy 1.1 should come with new hardware which can be plugged into any of your ports.
 

Michelle

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May 7, 2006
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LOL...LOL....Way to go Gypsy.......LOL....LOL....Very nice you guys! Best laugh of the day....
 

Treasure_Hunter

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Both version are Hilarius ;D
 

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stefen

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Michele,

It's all in fun.

And only a few can better the best ;D
 

Monty

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I know exactly what you're saying. I tried Girlfriend `1.0 for a while but then Son 1.0 was downloaded and I had to switch to Spouse 1.0. Spouse 1.0 was very user friendly but it became so user friendly that everyone was running it before long. After several months of this I decided that Judge1.0 would have to be uploaded to provide a buffer. Judge 1.0 was exactly what I was looking for and it smoothed out my programs pretty well, but I had to add Child Support 1.0 to get it to keep Spouse 1.0 from causing a lot of static. After that I tried a hand held model and a couple of handy desk tops with the latest Girlfriend versions but that got old after a while. A very bad virus was going around that would completely kill your hard drive, so I decided I'd better update to Spouse 2.0. Spouse 2.0 turned out to ge the best program I have ever run! Since then I've never worried about it being too user friendly, never a thought about a virus and always easy to boot up. I've run this one for about 36 years with no need to upgrade except for a verson of Son 2.0 and Daughter 1.0 add lots of memory. Of course after all those years my hard drive has been overhauled a few times and Spouse 2.0 has become more expensive to run, but every time I turn it on it boots up just like when it was new. My kids bought me a new game called Granddaughters that is a ball to play. I have all 5 versions and when integrated with Spouse 2.0 it's the best game I've ever played on a computer. I am getting ready to install the Christmas version that should add a lot more reality if my tired old processor can handle it. I just heard this morning that one of my sons is getting me a new version of Granddaughter or Grandson but it will be about six more weeks before we will know what version he is getting. I'm kinda' wanting a Game boy, but you can't be choosy I guess. MONTY
 

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stefen

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Monty,

If you want a GameBoy, its a cross-over version (GB-101.1) that requires that your tower have a user friendly recepticle.

:D
 

Monty

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I have let it run on Son2.0 and the receptacle was acceptable for the tower or so it seems. It's just slow to download! ;) Monty
 

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stefen

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IF the CRT lights up when the cable is inserted in the recepticle, the end-user may experience a ...;D
 

Michelle

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:D :D You guys a good....Now I totally understand computers!
 

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stefen

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Michelle,

What Monty was saying is that he may soon have a new laptop.

The color of the case may be in question at this time.

:D ;D :D
 

nhbenz

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Stefen, it would definately be a good idea to wipe your hard-drive.
 

arkhunter

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Jun 12, 2006
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If and when this happens, try to find a copy of Toyboy 1.1. Make sure you have used Ctrl ZZ on Husband 1.0 before loading Toyboy 1.1 and, of course, check for viruses before using any new program. Toyboy 1.1 should come with new hardware which can be plugged into any of your ports.

since my hard drive is nearing 99% of its rated capacity........i thinik i need to download it to a...........ohhh...i cant go on....never mind.

and thank you gypsy ;)
 

stoney56

Gold Member
Oct 4, 2004
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Wife 1.0 discovered Girlfriend 4.0 and instituted a dormant LORENA BOBBITT VIRUS on Husband 1.0 which reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
 

Michelle

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May 7, 2006
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stefen said:
Michelle,

What Monty was saying is that he may soon have a new laptop.

The color of the case may be in question at this time.

:D ;D :D
:D :D :D ::) 8) :D
 

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