How to find a real massage parlor???

mikeofaustin

Bronze Member
Jan 24, 2008
1,183
10
78729
Detector(s) used
dfx
How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

So I'm browsing the end pages of a local free paper and I see ads for massage therapists. So I got to thinking... How many of these are legit. If someone wanted a professional, trained therapist, how would you sort threw the illegal activity and find a good one. Some of the ads contain wording like 'full body', or 'Swedish'. Are these the ones that are bad? What should people look for when seeking trained professionals, and that's ALL they do.

When looking over these ads, I even see photo's of pretty women, and I think, "Why do I care what she looks like". So that too, is obviously questionable.

(lets keep this thread mature PG-13 rated please).
 

La Beep

Hero Member
Feb 15, 2008
570
11
NE Louisiana
Detector(s) used
Whites Eagle Spectrum, XLT Fisher's CZ5 Garretts GTA 1000
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

mikeofaustin said:
So I'm browsing the end pages of a local free paper and I see ads for massage therapists. So I got to thinking... How many of these are legit. If someone wanted a professional, trained therapist, how would you sort threw the illegal activity and find a good one. Some of the ads contain wording like 'full body', or 'Swedish'. Are these the ones that are bad? What should people look for when seeking trained professionals, and that's ALL they do.

When looking over these ads, I even see photo's of pretty women, and I think, "Why do I care what she looks like". So that too, is obviously questionable.

(lets keep this thread mature PG-13 rated please).

I guess the one we have in the mall here would qualify. It out in the open.
Massage therapy is offered though our local Votec schools here, and they maintain a list of current school grad locations and sometime phone numbers.
 

Old Dog

Gold Member
May 22, 2007
5,860
397
Western Colorado
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

Ask to see an actual copy of the credentials of the person working on you.
Anyone in the health care profession should be able to produce them easily enough.
A good massage therapist will not take offense at this.

The Best place to find a good licensed therapist is to check with the local hospital's physical therapy unit.
They will have a list of them that they can refer patients to after release.

Thom
 

rmptr

Silver Member
Dec 25, 2007
3,274
25
Tierra del Fuego
Detector(s) used
Tesoro.Fisher.Garrett
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

I think the best ones to avoid might be the ones with the largest ads, prettiest girls, and guys...

A friends SO was a masseuse... She was real big on declaring she practiced 'ethical massage', so you might look for that wording.

I dunno how much it would help, looking at ads in the phone book, but it's like the Forrest Gump thing...
"You can tell a lot about a person by their shoes."

That may be true, but I feel you can tell quite a bit about a person by looking at their hands.
Not that I'm particularly good at it, but I can tell a bank president from a wood cutter.

If you're a big lug, like me, it takes quite a bit of power to get an effect.
Problems is, application of force can easily cause damage to something already whacked!

AND, you may discover after going through a bunch of them, that one in particular may have some intuitive sense of your particular problem, and a style, technique, or whatever, that deals with it effectively.
...Been there, done that...

Best
 

GPURS

Hero Member
Apr 18, 2007
687
3
N.E. of Atlanta
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

I may be wrong, but I really doubt you will find a "real" massage advertised in the back pages of the sports section :whip2: :.. With that in mind, check a few of them out and let us know. Whats the worst thing that could happen??? :icon_pirat: Good luck,, Gpurs..
 

T

The.Boomer

Guest
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

Good massage vs good sex, aren't they the same thing ? ::) :tongue3: ;D
 

rmptr

Silver Member
Dec 25, 2007
3,274
25
Tierra del Fuego
Detector(s) used
Tesoro.Fisher.Garrett
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

You guys are too much!

My friend Gpurs with 'what's the worst that could happen?'

and The.B with 'same thing.'

I've got visions of the vice squad, newspapers, TV news, job lost and wife gone for the poor guy with a sore back!

LoL ;D

Best
 

S

stefen

Guest
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

So the question remains, How does one find a 'Real' massage parlor? :icon_scratch:
 

OP
OP
mikeofaustin

mikeofaustin

Bronze Member
Jan 24, 2008
1,183
10
78729
Detector(s) used
dfx
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

stefen said:
So the question remains, How does one find a 'Real' massage parlor? :icon_scratch:

I'm thinking, to find a good one, call them up and ask them if they can provide a 'happy ending'. If they say yes, then don't go there.
 

bbqbull

Hero Member
Oct 31, 2006
964
4
Mid-Michigan
Detector(s) used
Minelab X 70
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

Try the yellow pages, word of mouth, or Google certified massage therapist.
My wifes best friend in a certified massage therapist, and dont ask her for a happy ending.
She is a former long haul truck driver w/a huge farm boy husband.
My wife gets a massage every week, comes home feeling wonderful.
No more chriopracter sp?, a massage instead .
 

T

The.Boomer

Guest
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

mikeofaustin said:
stefen said:
So the question remains, How does one find a 'Real' massage parlor? :icon_scratch:

I'm thinking, to find a good one, call them up and ask them if they can provide a 'happy ending'. If they say yes, then don't go there.

I saw that story on Dateline, is that how you know the code words mike ? :D
 

OP
OP
mikeofaustin

mikeofaustin

Bronze Member
Jan 24, 2008
1,183
10
78729
Detector(s) used
dfx
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

The.Boomer said:
mikeofaustin said:
stefen said:
So the question remains, How does one find a 'Real' massage parlor? :icon_scratch:

I'm thinking, to find a good one, call them up and ask them if they can provide a 'happy ending'. If they say yes, then don't go there.

I saw that story on Dateline, is that how you know the code words mike ? :D

Haha... Actually, you'd be surprised but everything I've learned was from 'older' people. I've also learned more 'politically correct' words too, like, if I told the young, female bar patron next to me with a smile, "We'll you seem to be quite the harlot". She'd most likely smile and take it as a compliment (although I don't have the nerve to test that theory).
 

GPURS

Hero Member
Apr 18, 2007
687
3
N.E. of Atlanta
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

rmptr said:
You guys are too much!

My friend Gpurs with 'what's the worst that could happen?'

and The.B with 'same thing.'

I've got visions of the vice squad, newspapers, TV news, job lost and wife gone for the poor guy with a sore back!

LoL ;D

Best
You are too much!!! You can turn the best of situations into something dire and devastating!! :blob1: But,, that is a funny thought!! Gpurs....
 

Goldiver

Bronze Member
Sep 15, 2006
2,345
1,150
Fremont, Ohio
Detector(s) used
Equinox 800, Fisher F-75 LTD2, CZ-70, CZ-21, 1280x, Vibraprobe 560, Minelab Pro-Find 35
Primary Interest:
All Treasure Hunting
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

Just have your doctor prescribe physical therapy for you, deep massage is part of thier business, it works nice!!

Steve
 

rmptr

Silver Member
Dec 25, 2007
3,274
25
Tierra del Fuego
Detector(s) used
Tesoro.Fisher.Garrett
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

LoL!

That's the way my luck runs, Gpurs!

I can work with a sore back...

Step in the door to see about getting it fixed, some TV station would be there with a camera! ;D

Stay tuned, Gpurs... I'm tryin' to save gas money... did some horse tradin' for a street motorcycle.

Gotta get it running. We'll see how that works out. ;D

Best
 

bluestem

Jr. Member
Jun 11, 2007
66
1
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

Try a day spa, or ask the local massage schools.
 

Magic Fingers

Sr. Member
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

Well let me see....first don't go looking for a massage therapist in a massage parlor...lol.
Calling a local massage school is a good start. We have to put is so many hours in the massage clinic and it is a good place to get a less expensive massage.
A Swedish massage is just a massage that doesn't go deep and is more for relaxation. A deep tissue massage is for those that want a "it hurts so good" massage. The size of the therapist isn't a good indicator of pressure. I am only 4'11" and I can make you cry "uncle"...lol.
A full body massage just means just that...minus the private areas. Most all massages are considered full body massages. Most therapists will ask if you want your gluts worked on too if this is your first time seeing them. If you are going in for just a back problem and only have 30 minutes then that is not a full body massage.
When I first opened my office I had men who passed thru our town and wanted a massage and I am sure they did not use their real names on the health intake form!! They asked for happy endings!! I had to stop doing in-house massages for guys unless I already knew them. I almost had to get out my 13 inch screw driver but the guy settled down! That is another clue...if they have you fill out a health intake form.
A true massage therapist also uses a sheet and only exposes the body part being worked on.

One of the best ways to find a true massage therapist is by word of mouth.

Any questions...ask away

Donna
 

rmptr

Silver Member
Dec 25, 2007
3,274
25
Tierra del Fuego
Detector(s) used
Tesoro.Fisher.Garrett
Re: How to find a 'real' massage parlor???

Oops!

I better rewind that one a bit before I get my noggin' whooped on!

SIZE of a therapist may not be the best indicator of skill to apply pressure required.

Sorry Magic Fingers, sometimes I forget we're not setting block or hoisting beams here...

Best
 

Top Member Reactions

Users who are viewing this thread

Top