Your Worst Morning After......

[bigscoop]

........that big night out.

The paper boy woke me up in a flooded ditch in a down pour outside my house, right where my friends had rolled me out. Later that day I learned that I had driven my new camero through a corn field and even up rooted 50 feet of cattle fence. The farmer showed up at my place around noon to inform me of those last details. That was the last time I ever drank, other then a beer now and then, which is still a rare event. Farmer and I worked it out OK, though it took me a while to round up his escaped cattle. Good guy, thank heaven! That was about 30 years ago. And that poor car.........

 

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[Chug And Red]

OMG, Do I have Too Chug

 

[Chug And Red]

Yes, Red.

 

[bigscoop]

OMG, Do I have Too Chug

No, you don't have to. But you didn't have to back then either.....but you did!

 

[Chug And Red]

Ok, this is my story as it was told to me by Chug! My sister and I had gone for a girl's night out. Both of us are very faithful and loving wives, however we had gotten just a bit over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home we needed to pee, so my sister and I stopped in the cemetery.

One of us had nothing to wipe with(I'm not saying who!) so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

My sister however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After we did our business we stumbled home, hanging onto each other!

The next day my sister's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned Chug and said" These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst...my wife came home with no panties!!'



'That's nothing' said Chug, 'Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said.....

'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.' At least that's what Chug told me.

 

[Chug And Red]

OK, Reds Being Bad!!!

 

[Chug And Red]

OK, Reds Being Bad!!!

I'm a redhead, I'm allowed to be bad!!!! Red

 

[Chug And Red]

OK, Here's the Story

While Stationed In Germany!!!! I consumed Large Amounts Of alcohol ( OK This Spell Check Is Broken ) I keep Trying to Type alcohol and Come Up With a lower Body area!!!! Red Helped Me!!! Yes I have Had A few!!! Chug

I was Partying In A large High rise Near Nuremberg Germany, Drinking Tequila That Someone Brought Back From Texas area!!

While Taking a Shot from the Bottle The Little Worm Shot Down the Neck!!!!

OMG ( as I was Told Several day Later)

That Little Guy Is Bad!!!! Very Very Bad!!!!

20 Minutes Later I Don't remember Much!!! Maybe it was Hours!!!

Several Buddie's Walked Me to The Train Station!!!! ( Bad Idea ) Do You really Want to Here the Rest Of the Story Chug

 

[Chug And Red]

OK, Here's the Story

While Stationed In Germany!!!! I consumed Large Amounts Of alcohol ( OK This Spell Check Is Broken ) I keep Trying to Type alcohol and Come Up With a lower Body area!!!! Red Helped Me!!! Yes I have Had A few!!! Chug

I was Partying In A large High rise Near Nuremberg Germany, Drinking Tequila That Someone Brought Back From Texas area!!

While Taking a Shot from the Bottle The Little Worm Shot Down the Neck!!!!

OMG ( as I was Told Several day Later)

That Little Guy Is Bad!!!! Very Very Bad!!!!

20 Minutes Later I Don't remember Much!!! Maybe it was Hours!!!

Several Buddie's Walked Me to The Train Station!!!! ( Bad Idea ) Do You really Want to Here the Rest Of the Story Chug

yesh, just lllllet meeeeeee get a drinkypoo firsht, ok? Red

 

[Jeffro]

Worst (and in ways best...) night of my life was when my sis was visiting me in Vegas. We were out gambling and drinking and I was on a run. She crapped out about midnight and went on home, but I was hot as long as the shots kept coming.

No idea how much I drank, but I do remember tipping the dealer a hundred bucks. And the guy next to me, who ran out of money (wanted to keep the cards straight....) and of course, the cocktail waitress.


My sis got worried about me and started looking for me long about 3 AM. she found me walking into a street lamp, repeatedly.

Still had $500 in my pocket luckily. Got escorted out of the casino after having been deemed "too drunk".

PFFFFTTTT!! that was nothing, you should have heard me the night the Temptations were on stage and I got the mic during a break. You would've cried your eyes out over my rendition of "Yesterday"

 

[fossis]

While in the Army, i usually managed to get drunk every time before i had KP (kitchen police), we were woke up around 400am, I was sick to my stomach 11 times that day, swore off of Carling Black Label after that.

Fossis...............

 

[aa battery]

gonna wait to post

 

[Chug And Red]

gonna wait to post

Can't wait to read!!!!! Red

 

[Chug And Red]

OK, Here's the Story

While Stationed In Germany!!!! I consumed Large Amounts Of alcohol ( OK This Spell Check Is Broken ) I keep Trying to Type alcohol and Come Up With a lower Body area!!!! Red Helped Me!!! Yes I have Had A few!!! Chug

I was Partying In A large High rise Near Nuremberg Germany, Drinking Tequila That Someone Brought Back From Texas area!!

While Taking a Shot from the Bottle The Little Worm Shot Down the Neck!!!!

OMG ( as I was Told Several day Later)

That Little Guy Is Bad!!!! Very Very Bad!!!!

20 Minutes Later I Don't remember Much!!! Maybe it was Hours!!!

Several Buddie's Walked Me to The Train Station!!!! ( Bad Idea ) Do You really Want to Here the Rest Of the Story Chug

More of the Embarrassing Moment!!!!

Well I was more than Messed Up!!!

After Several Hours , I Was Politely woken Up By( The french Border Police!!!!) Lightly Kicked In the Ribs Until I responded) In several Languages Until I responded In English Drunk Off My Ass, Guess My Buddies Threw Me On A Friking Express Train To The French Border!!!! Oops All I can Say Was Thanks To Some Good Samaritan For Paying For My Return Ticket To Nuremberg!!!! I Just Made It Back they Next Day For First Formation The Look on My First seargets Face Was Enough To Tell Me I was In Deep Shit!!!


Guess That's Why I was On Guard Duty For the Next SIX WEEKS STRAIGHT!!!! Guess I didn't Help That I Thur Up In Formation Just Before the Company Commander Came Out For PT Could You Imagine Me Running For 10 Kilomiters Throwing Up On EVERYTHING!!!! lmao NOW!!! chug

 

[gleaner1]

OK, Here's the Story

While Stationed In Germany!!!! I consumed Large Amounts Of alcohol ( OK This Spell Check Is Broken ) I keep Trying to Type alcohol and Come Up With a lower Body area!!!! Red Helped Me!!! Yes I have Had A few!!! Chug

I was Partying In A large High rise Near Nuremberg Germany, Drinking Tequila That Someone Brought Back From Texas area!!

While Taking a Shot from the Bottle The Little Worm Shot Down the Neck!!!!

OMG ( as I was Told Several day Later)

That Little Guy Is Bad!!!! Very Very Bad!!!!

20 Minutes Later I Don't remember Much!!! Maybe it was Hours!!!

Several Buddie's Walked Me to The Train Station!!!! ( Bad Idea ) Do You really Want to Here the Rest Of the Story Chug

Firewater bad! Me not like worm!

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor! (George Carlin).

 

[Chug And Red]

All I remember Is two Tequila,Boot to the ribs,First seargent Kicking My ass And waking Up Hours later In a Closet!!! Must Have been A good thing!!!

I didn't Get Written Up For it!!!! Chug And I Had A mess to Clean Up Later I still Don't Know How He got the Inspection Of Our barracks Postponed to the Next Day!!!!

 

[poorhunter78]

I can't remember!!!!

 

[savant365]

First of all we live within walking distance of the tavern that we frequent so there was no drinking and driving going on. Obviously I don't remember the details of the evening in question but I do remember it was warm out so it must have been summertime here in the midwest. I have no recollection of earlier events of the night but the walk home turned out to be very eventful. According to the police report (you see where this is going) there was a call that there were 2 dead bodies lying in front of a house.

I was awakened by a law enforcement officer at approximately 2:47AM in my front yard. I had tried to walk my girlfriend home and I could not get her into the house. I remember not wanting to leave her passed out in the yard but I wasn't sober enough to drag her butt inside. So being the good boyfriend that I am I laid down and passed out beside her in the grass.

I only know these details because a friend of mine was one of the responding officers (he showed me the report while laughing continuously).

Evidently there were 3 city cops there 1 state patrol and a sheriff's deputy. Now this may not seem like much of a story to most of you but we live in a town of only 10,000. It's been about 2 years and they are still giving us crap about scaring the hell out of the old lady in the neighborhood.

 

[Real de Tayopa Tropical Tramp]

Sigh, being a chaste, clean livin, deeply meditating Saint, whose only worldly experiences in the degenerating, disgusting ways of ya bums, has been studying the interesting sex life of the two spiders that occupy my cave with me ----sniff.

Don Jose de La Mancha

 

[Arizona Bob]

Drunk? Meh. LSD? Oh crap! Here's my "adventure"-

I was always the "poster boy" type: Church-goer... Boy Scout... High School Sports.... no drinking.... no drugs..... joined the Air Force.... basic lilly-white bland boring person, right? After getting out of the Air Force, went to a party with my life-long "druggie" brother. He & I got into a heated argument (I wanted to leave and he didn't). I was sipping cola from a McDonalds cup, so he decided I needed to loosen-up and stuck a hit of LSD into my straw. I don't really recall when it "hit" me, but I do recall getting hungry and laughing alot. We went to Dennys (early am) and I ordered breakfast. As I was eating some oatmeal, every time I stuck my spoon into the mush and pulled it out the oats changed into maggots crawling all over my spoon. When I put the spoon back into the mush it changed back to oatmeal. Eventually we went home, and my brother cranked-up a Uriah Heep album on the turntable and told me to try to get some sleep. I woke up listening to a strange sound. The album was over, but the turntable was still spinning, and the needle-arm made this repeated chhhh-chuk chhhh-chuk sound as it repeatedly traveled from the end of the recording to the end of the record and back again. I became convinced that someone was trapped behind my wall, and was trying to scratch their way out. I grabbed my Bowie Knife and began repeatedly stabbing it into the wall to help free the trapped person. My brothers heard the noise, and came into the room to find me carving away most of the drywall. They jumped me and held me down and grabbed the knife. My tripping went off & on for a good 12 hours. Long story short, younger bro was forced to admit his misdeed. We have decided to take a long time-out from each other!