old digger
Gold Member
- #1
Thread Owner
Everybody who has a dog calls him ''Rover" or ''Boy.'' I call mine ''Sex'' He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment. When I went to city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, ''I'd like one too.'' Then I said, ''But this is a dog.'' He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, ''You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years old.'' He winked and said,'' You must have been quite a kid.'' When I married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, ''You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do.'' I said, ''Look, you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.'' The clerk said, ''Funny---- I have the same problem.'' One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contrstant asked why I was just standing there, looking disapointed. I told him I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. ''But you don't understand, ''I had hoped to have Sex on TV.'' He said, ''Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore.'' When my wife and I seperated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said, ''Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married,'' The judge said,'' The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please.'' Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, ''Me too."" Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, ''What are you doing in this alley at 4 o''clock in the morning?'' I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.
