truckinbutch
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I was gonna post this on Everything Else . Old Dog thought it belonged on Comedy Central ......
Late summer of 1963 my buddy Eddie and I were invited to an all night party and cookout featuring
corn , taters , melons , and chickens ; all stolen from local farms .
Eddie and I were given the task of swiping the chickens from an old guy that was 'dead drunk' by dark every Saturday .
Any good 'chicken thiefter' knows that you sneak into a coop in the dark and tickle your fingers along the roost boards and the sleeping chickens will step over on to your arm and keep moving over
as more chickens step on to your arm until you have as many on your extended arms as you can carry .
Then with chicken loaded arms held at full extension you sneak back out and retreat to a secluded location to sack them up or cook them .
Not knowing this Eddie and I sneaked in just fine ....Snatched a chicken in each hand by the legs and fled the coop side by side with them upside down flopping and skwaking fit to raise the dead .
Fit enough ,anyway , to rowse one old drunk that owned the chickens .
He fired 3 shots from a 12 gauge and killed 4 chickens . Peppered me and Eddie pretty well as you can imagine .
First time I'd ever been shot ; Eddie , too ....He suggested we go to his granny .
Granny , nonplussed with the situation , placed two coal oil lamps on the kitchen table and started picking shot out of our backsides while commenting on the fine pattern that 12 gauge had thrown .
Finishing that a couple hours later she then set us to picking 4 dead chickens while she lectured us on the proper way to steal chickens .
Fresh fried chicken , biscuits , and gravy was the breakfast menu the next morning .
To this day ; if someone offers me fried chicken ,I feel like I should eat it standing up .
Late summer of 1963 my buddy Eddie and I were invited to an all night party and cookout featuring
corn , taters , melons , and chickens ; all stolen from local farms .
Eddie and I were given the task of swiping the chickens from an old guy that was 'dead drunk' by dark every Saturday .
Any good 'chicken thiefter' knows that you sneak into a coop in the dark and tickle your fingers along the roost boards and the sleeping chickens will step over on to your arm and keep moving over
as more chickens step on to your arm until you have as many on your extended arms as you can carry .
Then with chicken loaded arms held at full extension you sneak back out and retreat to a secluded location to sack them up or cook them .
Not knowing this Eddie and I sneaked in just fine ....Snatched a chicken in each hand by the legs and fled the coop side by side with them upside down flopping and skwaking fit to raise the dead .
Fit enough ,anyway , to rowse one old drunk that owned the chickens .
He fired 3 shots from a 12 gauge and killed 4 chickens . Peppered me and Eddie pretty well as you can imagine .
First time I'd ever been shot ; Eddie , too ....He suggested we go to his granny .
Granny , nonplussed with the situation , placed two coal oil lamps on the kitchen table and started picking shot out of our backsides while commenting on the fine pattern that 12 gauge had thrown .
Finishing that a couple hours later she then set us to picking 4 dead chickens while she lectured us on the proper way to steal chickens .
Fresh fried chicken , biscuits , and gravy was the breakfast menu the next morning .
To this day ; if someone offers me fried chicken ,I feel like I should eat it standing up .
