Lot of stuff here to think about. As for the music, I love music; it gets me through life. I don't really 'play' an instrument. I 'chord' some on guitar, 'pick out' a tune on a keyboard or an accordion occasionally; used to play piano a bit. But the music I always loved is something that most people seem to think is 'too sad' for anyone to hear. I don't know if I'm just 'melancholy', an old 'romantic', a sad person, or what. It seems that the sadder (to me) the music/words are, the better I like it; especially sad love songs and songs expressing true love for another.
There are a lot people that feel they had rather die than to live certain ways. Like Red's 'You know my stance, live free or die'. That doesn't mean (I don't think) that he would rather just lay down and die, or take his own life if he was in 'captivity'. I believe he means that he would rather fight to the death than to be a slave/captive. I feel the same way. I've never had severe pain that lasted for any length of time. If I had extreme pain, then I might consider being better off dead if I knew that it would not end.
As far as just thinking life isn't worth living; I have never thought of anything that would make it so. I've been through a lot of grief and heartaches in this old life; but to me, it's still well worth living. In my life now, there are a million things that I consider really bad; but don't consider life not worth living! Some would think that most of my life is gone, yes; but there's some left. Some would think that since I've outlived all but a few cousins, and son, daughter, and a grandson, I don't have much left; wrong. I have my son, daughter, grandson, and cousins and love them. Yes, I've watched as most of the kinfolk have died, and even if I was the only one left, why would I not want to go on living? Just my way of thinking. As long as there's life left in me, I want to live it the way I want to if I can. If I can't live it just like I want, then I'll live it however I can.