If My Body Were a Car

[River Rat]

This is just too funny - scary how true it is!!

IF MY BODY WAS A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ...
But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
_________________________

 

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[spartacus53]

I know what you mean... I'd be a Rolls Canardley





Rolls down one hill, can hardly get up the next

 

[Tn Gizmo]

That's funny, too bad most of it is true in my case.

 

[aa battery]

Vega (not for long)

 

[wildman4910]

If my body was a car it would work like a loosing demolition derby car!!

My wife tells me I sound like a pack of firecrackers going off when I get up in the morning with all the popping & cracking!!

 

[WindHarvester]

I'd be a beat up Honda with a lot of miles but a heck of a lot more left. In the perfect world a hot college girl would ride me back and forth to school.

 

[boogeyman]

I feel like a 1909 hupmobile running on three wheels. I want to be re-incarnated as a girls bike!!!!

 

[packerbacker]

Nope..........I am NOT commenting on this thread.

 

[warsawdaddy]

Guess I would resemble a Model T which don't start anymore when my crank is turned.

 

[Ray S S]

Yup, I can't top that last one.

 

[Kentucky Kache]

I'm not a car, I'm a moped (mope head).

 

[bigscoop]

And the mechanic said, "Well, the drive shaft is froze up, the motor has a sticking valve, the suspension is shot, the computer has a short in it, and two lug nuts were about to fall completely off."

 

[WindHarvester]

And the mechanic said, "Well, the drive shaft is froze up, the motor has a sticking valve, the suspension is shot, the computer has a short in it, and two lug nuts were about to fall completely off."

And the BMV said about me "After reading the VIN we have came to the conclusion that this car is HOT"

I can only wish.

 

[boogeyman]

HEY! Anyone want my spare tire?