lucky1777
Bronze Member
- #1
Thread Owner
NEVER HEARD IT PUT QUITE THIS WAY BEFORE!
In the beginning, God created the
Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with
broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow
and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman
would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan
created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme
Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with
that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as
long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they
gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt
that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so
fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing,
buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And
Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the
repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart
healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook
them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy whitecake, named it
"Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then
created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so
that His children might lose those extra pounds. And
Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels. And
Man and Woman laughed and cried before the
flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato,
naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.
And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man
might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his
appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want
fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super
size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man
went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs
In the beginning, God created the
Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with
broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow
and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman
would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan
created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme
Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with
that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as
long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they
gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt
that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so
fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing,
buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And
Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the
repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart
healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook
them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy whitecake, named it
"Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then
created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so
that His children might lose those extra pounds. And
Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels. And
Man and Woman laughed and cried before the
flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato,
naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.
And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man
might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his
appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want
fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super
size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man
went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs
