So I went to the park today for the purpose of testing two stock detectors against one another. Instead, it happened I put the Law to the test.
(skip to first post for TLDR)
So, I’m friendly with the homeless man standing at the entrance of the park drinking alcohol in a Pepsi bottle..
I say, “What’s up?”
No response.
I see a woman standing at a sign near the entrance.
In passing I say, “Hello”.
No response.
Moving near the turf I see another man to my right in shorts, dirty sleeveless t-shirt, and bandana on his head approaching up towards me from an old concrete service drive. There is a truck behind him with empty flat trailer. Also, a shipping container is there for some renovation preparations. He’s parked right next to it.
I smile and step into the grass. Before breaking eye contact I get “Oh, no you don’t! You’re not digging here!”
Without breaking stride and still maintaining eye-contact he rates a response of, “Psshhhht! WHATEVER!”
5 more yards I hear over my shoulder, “You think I’m joking?”
“Call the Police!”, I yelled without looking back.
Walked to my spot, dropped my pack and gear, then while facing him (he’s on his phone) I defiantly thrust the Raven into the earth. Then I unpacked, set up both machines, and went about looking for an iffy target. They were in abundance but I had difficulty concentrating. I kept watching this guy on his phone for over 40 minutes straight. An hour and twenty minutes later two patrol cars enter the parking lot and I see them. I’m thinking ah, man, here we go.
But they disappeared! At this point I’m thinking, Ha! Until they reappeared on the bike trails to my right flank. Doh!
I keep my head down and earphones on. If they want to talk with me, come on down. Peeking under my boonie hat brim I can see one Officer inside his SUV atop a levee. The other officer ends up sneaking on foot behind me and announces himself to my surprise, “Excuse me, Sir”!
Now, let’s just say I’ve read a lot of Tom In CA on here (hat tip), and I know my local codes and the laws, or lack thereof in my municipality, and that the study of law is a third tier interest of mine and a vocation almost pursued. Locally there are no prohibitions against MD whatsoever. Digging, removing, altering, and defacing, vandalizing verbiage present. But back to the story…
I turn, remove headphones and give a proper military, “Yes, Sir!”
Officer: “Officer (blank). The Parks and Rec Dept wants you to leave.”
Me: “Why?”
Officer: “ I don’t know. We got a complaint and they want you gone. Or, I can give you a citation.”
Me looking conflicted: “I guess I’ll take a citation then. At least I’ll know of what laws I’m in violation”
Officer one yells to officer two near the suv ,“He wants a citation! Says, he’ll take a citation.”
Me: “Can you quote me the statute I’m in violation of?”
Officer 1: “No, not off the top of my head.”
Me: “Ok.”
They spend time on the radio requesting the required statutes to charge me. Meanwhile I’m assuring them I have personally poured over the codes and statutes to ensure I would not run afoul the law. I explain all my understanding and interpretation of the Laws to them concerning digging, removing, altering, defacing, etc….everything. So, as expected nothing is coming up and they are having trouble finding a prohibition against metal detecting – because there isn’t one! Obviously this is going to take some time so I ask permission to shut my equipment off and place it near my other gear.
Standing there with Officer 2 on the phone talking to someone at the station having municipal codes read to him, Officer 1 admits he has no problem with my hobby and he’s not sure what the problem is exactly. Officer 2 gets off the phone and calls over the Fool who called them with a complaint.
From the moment he steps into the conversation this guy has an obvious attitude. Everyone present notices. He claims to work for the Parks Dept. He complains of digging holes, calls me an ass, says he will ban me from the park. Meanwhile I’m busy laying out objections to the codes I have memorized. Not altering. Not Defacing. Not taking dirt or sod, or shrubs and plants from the park. I’m technically violating NO law! But when I heard this guy claim he’ll ban me, I had had enough. Fortunately the Jr. officers just let us talk, so I piped up.
Raising my voice from a 3 to a 6: “You don’t have that authority, Sir! What is your problem? What kind of authority issues do you suffer from, Sir?”
Fool starts back talking me and I snapped into full USMC DI mode catching all present completely off guard. I boomed in at a 8 or 8.5, a notch or two below full battle cry:
“WHAT IS YOUR NAME,SIR!? WHAT IS YOUR NAME, SIR!?”
He states his name with attitude then spells it out while I yell,
“WHAT IS YOUR POSITION IN THE PARKS DEPARTMENT?”
Fool continues to spell his name out completely.
“WHAT IS YOUR POSITION IN THE PARKS DEPARTMENT?”, I boomed slightly louder.
He refuses a coherent answer and I, frustrated and now angry exclaim, “I see…. I’m done talking with you.” Grrrrrr……I’m calming back down.
After that and while awaiting the arrival of the Seargent, there was about 20 minutes of uncomfortable silence which I attempted to break with small talk to the 1st officer. Officer 2 is still on the phone while they pour over the codes.
“Did they have you working Memorial Day?”
Officer nods affirmatively.
“That sucks. I hope you got double pay at least”
Officer slowly nods affirmatively and smiles.
Soon the fool is arguing he wants me banned again and now wants me charged with trespassing because I refuse to leave.
“Trespassing? Show me the posted sign and I’ll leave. TRY AGAIN SIR!”
By now the Officers are asking the Fool what his problem is. Why do you have an attitude? What harm has this guy (me) done here? They and I are now explaining over and over to him that there is nothing to ENFORCE here. No obvious violations of the Law. I’m right there piping in, “I defy anyone to show me where I’ve dug a hole!”
It’s obvious to everyone present that this fool has no concept of how the law actually works, the role of law enforcement officers, or the purpose of a Judge. He finally shuts up and just waits for the SGT…. Probably thinking he’ll have better luck with him.
While waiting this Foolish Man walks over to where I have been digging prior to all the trouble. He is looking to take photos of my work… but he can’t find anything. At least twenty plugs and not a trace. So he must settle with taking photos of my gear and equipment.
More silence and time pass. Two officers are joking amongst themselves commenting on how SGT. Is pissed-off and hot wearing a new body cam. He’s approaching from across the park. Officer 1 meets him half way and they are seen in discussion as they approach. I can certainly tell by the SGT’s stride and demeanor – he’s PISSED! He also was remarkably professional the entire time considering how upset he must have been. All Officers present were very professional.
SGT. approaches me immediately and asks me to follow him towards my gear. He’s interrupted almost immediately by the FOOL holding his phone up, “I have Lieutenant (blank) on the phone, he wants you to talk to him.”
SGT: “That’s OUTSTANDING! I’m conducting an investigation here. DO NOT INTERRUPT ME AGAIN!”
Jr. Officers shaking their heads smirking.
SGT: Very respectfully says, “So tell me about your hobby. How do you dig a hole? What do you use to dig with? Show me what you use.
“Well, I don’t typically dig holes. And it depends on the depth of the object , but I commonly cut a slit into the earth, lift the soil, and recover the metallic item, then press the earth back down, tamping it, and grooming the vegetation.”
I hand him my sheathed Hori Hori. He examines it. Noting verbally that it is indeed a soil knife of the common garden type. I show him my Predator Raven. Explaining that I rarely use this to dig, I carry this in public as a deterrent against getting jacked for almost $4000 in equipment. He completely understood. Not a problem.
“Does your machine give you depth readings? Like inches?
“Oh, yes Sir.. Quarter inches, Sir.”
“Show me where you’ve been digging today. Where have you been already?”
I take him to the area. “All along this parking lot edge. I’ve recovered 15-20 targets in this area already. SGT is looking around.
“Where did you dig?”
“Uh, I don’t know exactly. (I lean closer to him and state) I’m very good at what I do. Hold on…”
SGT:” You can’t find your own hole?”
“Wait, I think here is one. Yes, you can see a slit still in the soil right along here. (I pull the grass back)
SGT: “Really. I need to photograph this.”
He asks me to remain by my gear around 30’ from the others. He proceeds to discuss things with the Fool and the other Officers. Things seem pretty heated and I can only get bits and pieces of the discussions, but it appeared to not go well for the man. I hear SGT. Lecturing him about no violations having happened, the interpretation of the law, the intent of the law, and the Officer’s official role in the judicial system.
Shortly after the SGT. Makes his way over to me and says:
“I ‘d like to apologize to you on behalf of the Department. You are out here alone enjoying your hobby and we should never have been called out here to begin with. I’m allowed a certain amount of discretion in the field, and it is my belief that those laws cited earlier were not intended for your hobby. They were intended for people stealing sod for their yard, or taking roses for their garden.”
Nodding in approval I interject: “I think you and I share the same interpretation of the Law.”
He nods and continues, ”You are welcome to metal detect in all the public parks. You are welcome to come back to this park tomorrow or any other day. I would like to ask you a favor. That man’s emotions are pretty high. We like to diffuse the situation and I’d like to personally ask you if you would be the bigger man and leave the park for the day. You’re not required to leave and I will not tell you to leave, I just ask as a favor.”
Me: “While I agree with you on principal, I cannot leave the park while this guy is still here. I cannot allow him the perception that he has won after wasting over two hours of my time today. I respectfully decline, Sir.”
SGT: “Very well, you don’t have to leave. I do hope you have a good afternoon though. Now, you’re not in trouble or anything, but may I get your name for my notes?”
I gave him my name, I thanked him for his work and for using his discretion, and back he went to the group.
Now I couldn’t hear everything being said over there as the Fool and SGT. Had their backs to me, but when the SGT was walking back to the others I hear the 2nd officer getting agitated. “What is your title in the Parks Dept.?” Same question a second time. Third question, “Do you even work for the Parks Dept.?”
From what I could gather, technically no, he’s a subcontractor in charge of maintenance for the construction going on nearby. HE MOWS THE GRASS AROUND THE STORAGE TRAILER. So, while hired by the Parks Dept., and their shipping container is on park property, he does not have employment there or anywhere else in the City.
At one point all three Officers seem to be berating him. A few minutes later it ends with the SGT declaring loudly, “I can give you a citation right now! Call us again and you’ll be arrested!”
It was finally over.
I stuck around another hour and a half. This fool left at 4:30 and I remained until 5… the last one to leave the park. My little victory!
Besides, she had never tried smoked turkey before.
