ScubaDetector
Silver Member
The experiences you learn in life help make you who you are today. Some see the bad side of people all the time being police officers, loss prevention officers, jailers, border patrol and other professions where they learn more mistrust than trust.
Other folks have more positive jobs where they see a lot of good in people. I have had both. I was a computer tech for almost 20 years helping others with problems that they had a hard time understanding.
There are mainly three kinds of computer errors. We have the Cherokee error, the I, D, Ten, T error and the PICNIC error.
The explanations are easy. the first one is the interface between the chair and the keyboard, the second is spelled, IDIOT. And the third is an acronym for Problem In Chair, Not In Computer. However most here probably know what an air conditioner and a computer have in common. That is when you open windows, they both stop working.
Being an officer you have the chance to be around liars constantly, err I mean lawyers, You find out many interesting things about them. For example, you realize that lawyer jokes really are not that good to tell because people don't think they are jokes and lawyers don't think they are funny. You also find other interesting tidbits. My favorite is, does anyone know why they bury lawyers 12' down instead of 6 when they die? It is because deep down they are really good people.
Then in your life's travels you also learn other interesting things. Like where does extra virgin wool come from? (Extra ugly sheep) And how do priests make holy water? (They boil the hell out of it) Another useless thing like it is a proven fact you always put your left shoe on last. People argue with me all the time on it but I don't budge. It has been proven time and time again AS long as you have two feet.
Now before we get into any arguments here that statement is very easy to explain. You put one shoe on, you have one left. You always put the one that is left on last.
You also learn a lot about marriage. One thing I learned was to avoid arguments with the misses, use the sink. Another thing I posted on here recently is that woman give sound advice, 99% sound and 1% advice. You can also learn things if you open your mind and ears, Everyone has dumb blond jokes. Well they say that this very loyal devout man got a visit from God. He was granted one of life's mysteries to be revealed to him. He thought for a moment and asked God, You know I married a blond, Why did you make them so beautiful. God replied, that is easy my son. so you would love them. The guy thought for a moment and said But God, why did you make them so dumb? God replied, that is easier my son. So they would love you. You also hear things that you don't know are true but wonder. Like why does a man get smarter while making love? They say he is plugged into a genius. Again that would possibly be up for debate.
You also learn things like how the first book of Genesis in the bible is wrong. God actually created Eve first. After a week God came down and asked her how his favorite creation was. She replied, everything is wonderful Lord. The trees, the water the flowers and plants. The world is beautiful. I just have one problem. God asks what is that Eve. Eve replies, you gave me three breasts. the middle one pushes the other two out and they snag on limbs and plants and it is very uncomfortable. I have two legs, arms and eyes, can't I just have two breasts. God thinks for a moment and says, Well I gave the animals 6 and I thought you needed just half of them but I see you are right. With that he grasps the middle one and plucks it off and throws it in the bushes.
A week goes by and God comes back to earth and asks Eve how his favorite creation is now. Eve says, perfect Lord except one more thing. God asks what is that Eve. Eve replies, all the animals have a mate but I don't have anyone to share this beautiful garden with. Shouldn't I have a mate also. God replies, you are right again Eve. I shall make a man out of a part of you. Now were did I throw that useless boob?
In marriage you also learn valuable lessons like, he who argues with wife in daytime, gets no peace at night. Of course peace could be spelled piece.
Anyway, life is full of things to learn. The truth is out there somewhere. Enjoy your time on this earth and make the best out of your life. And remember if at first you don't succeed, skydiving was not for you.
Other folks have more positive jobs where they see a lot of good in people. I have had both. I was a computer tech for almost 20 years helping others with problems that they had a hard time understanding.
There are mainly three kinds of computer errors. We have the Cherokee error, the I, D, Ten, T error and the PICNIC error.
The explanations are easy. the first one is the interface between the chair and the keyboard, the second is spelled, IDIOT. And the third is an acronym for Problem In Chair, Not In Computer. However most here probably know what an air conditioner and a computer have in common. That is when you open windows, they both stop working.
Being an officer you have the chance to be around liars constantly, err I mean lawyers, You find out many interesting things about them. For example, you realize that lawyer jokes really are not that good to tell because people don't think they are jokes and lawyers don't think they are funny. You also find other interesting tidbits. My favorite is, does anyone know why they bury lawyers 12' down instead of 6 when they die? It is because deep down they are really good people.
Then in your life's travels you also learn other interesting things. Like where does extra virgin wool come from? (Extra ugly sheep) And how do priests make holy water? (They boil the hell out of it) Another useless thing like it is a proven fact you always put your left shoe on last. People argue with me all the time on it but I don't budge. It has been proven time and time again AS long as you have two feet.
Now before we get into any arguments here that statement is very easy to explain. You put one shoe on, you have one left. You always put the one that is left on last.
You also learn a lot about marriage. One thing I learned was to avoid arguments with the misses, use the sink. Another thing I posted on here recently is that woman give sound advice, 99% sound and 1% advice. You can also learn things if you open your mind and ears, Everyone has dumb blond jokes. Well they say that this very loyal devout man got a visit from God. He was granted one of life's mysteries to be revealed to him. He thought for a moment and asked God, You know I married a blond, Why did you make them so beautiful. God replied, that is easy my son. so you would love them. The guy thought for a moment and said But God, why did you make them so dumb? God replied, that is easier my son. So they would love you. You also hear things that you don't know are true but wonder. Like why does a man get smarter while making love? They say he is plugged into a genius. Again that would possibly be up for debate.
You also learn things like how the first book of Genesis in the bible is wrong. God actually created Eve first. After a week God came down and asked her how his favorite creation was. She replied, everything is wonderful Lord. The trees, the water the flowers and plants. The world is beautiful. I just have one problem. God asks what is that Eve. Eve replies, you gave me three breasts. the middle one pushes the other two out and they snag on limbs and plants and it is very uncomfortable. I have two legs, arms and eyes, can't I just have two breasts. God thinks for a moment and says, Well I gave the animals 6 and I thought you needed just half of them but I see you are right. With that he grasps the middle one and plucks it off and throws it in the bushes.
A week goes by and God comes back to earth and asks Eve how his favorite creation is now. Eve says, perfect Lord except one more thing. God asks what is that Eve. Eve replies, all the animals have a mate but I don't have anyone to share this beautiful garden with. Shouldn't I have a mate also. God replies, you are right again Eve. I shall make a man out of a part of you. Now were did I throw that useless boob?
In marriage you also learn valuable lessons like, he who argues with wife in daytime, gets no peace at night. Of course peace could be spelled piece.
Anyway, life is full of things to learn. The truth is out there somewhere. Enjoy your time on this earth and make the best out of your life. And remember if at first you don't succeed, skydiving was not for you.
