little Timmy

[GB1]

Timmy came inside and his mother said' Timmy what did your father say when you hit the ball through the window'. Timmy said do you want me to leave the bad words out. his mother said yes. (little Timmy) nothing

 

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[Duckshot]

Ha!

There was this new teacher who learned all about child psychology in college. On her first day she tried out some what she learned on her new class. The teacher says, "Hello class, would any one who thinks they are stupid please stand up."

Well nobody stood up for long enough that the teacher started to doubt her training. But, then little Timmy stands up next to his desk. Teach' asks him , "Timmy, do you really believe that you are stupid?"

Little Timmy says"No, I just hated to see you standing there by yourself."

 

[GB1]

Ha!

There was this new teacher who learned all about child psychology in college. On her first day she tried out some what she learned on her new class. The teacher says, "Hello class, would any one who thinks they are stupid please stand up."

Well nobody stood up for long enough that the teacher started to doubt her training. But, then little Timmy stands up next to his desk. Teach' asks him , "Timmy, do you really believe that you are stupid?"

Little Timmy says"No, I just hated to see you standing there by yourself."

 

[diggummup]

One day at the end of class, little Timmy's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Little Suzy raises her hand.
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.
Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."


Little Lucy went next.
"My dad owns a farm too.
Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator.
Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.";
Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.
Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."


Next up was little Timmy.
"My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory.
He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete.
On the way down, he drank the case of beer.
Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers.
He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets!
So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more.
Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looked a little shocked.
After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.
"Well," Timmy replied, "Don't fock with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."

 

[GB1]

 

[Duckshot]

There was this highschool American history class that received a new exchange student- from Iran. Anyways on this exchange student's first day the teacher holds an oral quiz. Teacher asks-

"Who was President of the Congress that signed the Declaration of Independence?"

Iranian kid raises his hand, stands up, and says- "John Hancock, 1776"

Teacher asks, "Who assassinated President Lincoln?"

Again, the Iranian kid raised his hand, only one in the whole class. Iranian kid stands up and says, "john Wilkes Booth, 1865"

At this point the teacher marveled at her new exchange student-"Class, nobody even tried except for our new exchange student and he is from Iran!"

Then Little Timmy in the back of the class blurts out "SCREW IRAN!"

Teacher snaps, "Who Said That!!?"

Iranian kid raised his hand, stood up, and said "Donald Trump, 2018".

 

[GB1]

There was this highschool American history class that received a new exchange student- from Iran. Anyways on this exchange student's first day the teacher holds an oral quiz. Teacher asks-

"Who was President of the Congress that signed the Declaration of Independence?"

Iranian kid raises his hand, stands up, and says- "John Hancock, 1776"

Teacher asks, "Who assassinated President Lincoln?"

Again, the Iranian kid raised his hand, only one in the whole class. Iranian kid stands up and says, "john Wilkes Booth, 1865"

At this point the teacher marveled at her new exchange student-"Class, nobody even tried except for our new exchange student and he is from Iran!"

Then Little Timmy in the back of the class blurts out "SCREW IRAN!"

Teacher snaps, "Who Said That!!?"

Iranian kid raised his hand, stood up, and said "Donald Trump, 2018".

very funny